Time Machine

“Mummy….” Said Umar 2 weeks ago. I was already on the sejadah, and was about to say my Bismillah. Umar though had done his Maghrib duty, had asked for forgiveness and good results in his exam from Allah SWT ( to save his behind, of course ) and was still on the mat. He was looking at the telly when he called me.

“If we have a time machine, we can go back to the day Cik Shera died…” My heart almost stopped. “We can stop her before she gets to the bus stop Mummy and ask her to brake….” He said. “No… ! Better still if we ask her to wear seat belt, kan Mummy ?” He added.

“Well…. yeah…..” was all I could muster.

Of course I cried while I prayed.

When I was done, I found him reading the Muqaddam. “I miss Cik Shera !!” he suudenly announced and bawled his eyes out. And he howled and wailed and weeped. I was really baffled by his sudden grief but I joined him anyway. There was I with my little man, hugging each other, having a good cry.

“I wish I am a scientist … I can build the time machine now…. “ He sobbed. I didn’t say anything because I wish I had studied harder during my Engineering degree, become a super engineer and was building the damn machine right now !!

Ampun, Ya Allah.

Mami ! Ngok ! Ngok !

“Mami ! Mami ! Look ! Ngok ! Ngok !” Called my darling Yana. I was lying on my mom’s very comfy bed, watching the telly when Yana burst into the room, brandishing a purple Push Pop at my face.

“Ha ? Apa dia ?” Said I. Yana is so gorgeous (like I have always maintained, she looks like me – well I do look like my brother when we were babies, soo…... Anyway, only my Tok Cik, which is her Tok Nek, Yana and myself who like to put our hands behind our backs when we stand or walk, so she is just like me…. He he ) that whenever she calls me I will not miss the opportunity to look at her exquisite face.

“Okay… Mami ngok, kay…” Said she, preparing me for the wonders of the Push Pop. She took off the lid, and slowly pushes the candy out by pushing its retractable bottom.

“Haa… !!!!” She announced proudly, face beaming as she waved the now visible candy.

“Waa…. Pandainya Ana ni……” Ha ha……

She sucked the candy triumphantly then offered it to me.

“Mami nak ?”

“Nak…” Said I. I was leaning for a taste, tongue out when she yanked it away.

“Tak boleh !!” She announced and ran from the room.

Kureng punya budak…. He he…

Because Umar was born in England

“Mummm….. my friends at school said I am a Christian…” Said Umar on Saturday.

“Eii ? Why ?”

“They said because I was born in London… Saya dah kejar dia orang dah…” Said he sadly.

He he….

“Alah, Umar…. They are children and they do not know any better. You explain lah to them even though you were born in England you are still a Muslim. Umar sembahyang, mengaji, puasa… kan ?”

He nodded sadly.

“Takpelah Umar. Let them be…. Just ignore them. Don’t fight with them okay, just walk away….” Said I again.

“Mumm…. My friend Hazim kan cakap if people make me sad, don’t listen to them and to go to your happy place….”

Laa… ingat Umar je yang merepek…. But that was very good advice Hazim. I thank Hazim and his mother for their wisdom.

“That was a very nice thing to say, Umar. You have a good friend there, okay ?” Said I. “By the way… where is your happy place ??”

He smiled. “A very dangerous Hot Wheels track….” He perked up and was soon lost in his Hot Wheels tracks.

Thank you again Hazim and Mummy. Appreciate it.

Azizul ?

Last week Elsa came home with a straight scar, a gash, on her neck. It was quite long and when we saw it, the scar was still red.

“Who did this to you ? Sakit ke ?” Asked Mummy.

“Tak…. Tak sakit… Azizul kat sekolah buat…” Said she.

“Why did he do this to you ? Is it because he likes you ? He wants you to be his girlfriend ?” I teased.

She blushed and gave me a “Taaak… laah….”. He he…..

When we were getting ready for bed, I realised that I hadn’t heard anything from her brother. Impossible…

“Um !! Nampak tak apa jadi kat leher adik ?”

“Leher tu apa, Mummy ?”

“Aiyoo !! Neck lah. Neck. See ?” I pointed at the gash. He had a horrified look on his face when he saw it.

“Sapa buat tu, Ti ?” Asked the very concerned brother.

“Azizul….” Answered my daughter in a small voice, playing the victim although I know it doesn’t hurt.. well anymore that is.

“Azizul ? Why did he do that to you, Ti ?”

Titi just looked at him and I decided to test the fire a bit……

“What are you going to do about it, Um ? Somebody hurt your sister.”

“Slap his face !!” He announced. Pulak…

“No, lah. Don’t use violence lah…”

“Mummy… you tell Cik Ta to pick up me first from school tomorrow. You tell Cik Ta that, okay ?” Said he, face all serious.

I stifled my giggle. “Okay, Um..”

He looked at the gash again. “Sakit tak, Ti ?” He asked.

Titi sniffed imaginary tears (or maybe snot) and nodded. Umar’s anger was suitably refreshed.

“You tell Cik Ta to pick me up first, okay ?” Before I could agree, he added, “But what shall I do ? What shall I do to him, Mum ?”

Wa ha ha ha ha !! Adui le, Umar.

Hmm…. That question is actually quite crucial. My answer could potentially turn my son into a hooligan and became a brother just like mine. I don’t want another (actually me goading him is already quite bad…. but moving on…) Syafiq in terms of brotherly conduct.

“Okay… why don’t you just tell him that it was not nice of him to do that to your sister. Maybe you should ask him if tak sengaja ke or memang deliberately wanted to hurt your sister…..” Said I carefully.

Then I can’t resist adding, “If you mess with my sister, you mess with me !!” Mummy ni memanglah.

He then put his arms around his sister and steered her to their room. “Come, Ti. Let me look at it properly, okay ?”

The next day he complained that Cik Ta failed to pick him up first. 2 days after the incident though, Cik Ta did pick him up first and when they arrived at Titi’s school, he was sent to fetch Elsa.

Cik Ta waited and waited and waited. When Cik Ta finally went to search for her niece and nephew she found the so-called protective abang playing football with some kids.

“I couldn’t find Azizul !!” Was his defence when he saw Cik Ta standing with her hand on her waist.

“Kurang asam punya Umar ! Dia biar aku tunggu lama-lama. Dianya pergi main bola !! Aku ni tunggulah macam orang gila !!” Complained Cik Ta later.

Apalah Umar oiiiii….. Nak belasah Azizul konon…

Ants and laser beams

Many Saturdays ago found me driving my husband’s car. I had to send my car to the workshop (Courtesy of Elsa and the window screen episode). Amelia followed our car to the shop and then sent us home. Babah borrowed Atuk’s car to work.

We were in the car on the way home when we noticed there were quite a large number of ants running around the dashboard. I instructed Umar to open the glove compartment and lo-and-behold, there were loads of ants swarming a packet of sweets !!

Umar quickly slammed the compartment door shut. Some ants managed to escape and was running around the car.

“Ti ! Quick ! You kill all the ants that go this way and I will handle the ants around here !” He instructed. However Umar tried to kill the ants with the tip of his finger rather than slamming them with his palm. So bloody dainty.

“Umar, macam tu mana jadi. That is not going to work !’ Said I. “Buat macam ni !!” and I hit the ants with my palm and showed the amount of carnage on it.

Umar of course was hesitant. “Taknak lah, Mummy ….” But he was forced to do so by the sheer number of ants running out of their cave in the glove compartment. Maybe they were attracted to the light.

I managed to produce a face towel and my children wiped the ants away. Easy peezy lemon squeezy. Success !!

However after 5 minutes, a few more managed to get out and was running around the dashboard again. Umar screamed. “Mummy !! There’s more !! Oh my god !! So geli !!”

I then heard my daughter groaned. She rolled her eyes.

“Umar….” She sighed. “We are the giant, Umar. We are bigger. We don’t have to be scared of them… They are scared of us, Um….”

He he… she had this weary look on her face, so funny like she was thinking when will her brother grow up. Semut pun nak takut ke Um ni ?

Last Sunday we went to Ikea to furnish our new kitchen. As usual we trooped to The Curve and certainly browsed through the weekend bazaar. Naturally we stopped at a toy stall and even though Babah warned that we will only be looking at stuffs, my kids managed to come home with a toy each.

Anyway while we were there, Umar picked up this finger laser thingy, where you strap this small laser guns on each of your four fingers. Umar read the packet and instructions then looked up at the guy manning the booth.

“Is it real laser beams or just lights ?” He asked.

“Aa? Just normal lights lah…” Replied the guy.

“Oh… okay that is good. Because if it is real laser beams, it can seriously hurt people. Laser beams can slice people you know !!”

Waa ha ha ha ha… !!!

Your little sister

How do I find a word that means Umar and Elsa ?

Hmm…..

As usual on Saturday my kids will be with Ivy until 1 pm. When I arrived to pick them up, Ivy informed me that Umar used up the last of his art block and needs a new one. Elsa jumped in delight because she wanted a new one, too.

I sighed and waited for the tears and protests.

Ivy lives by a golden rule, do not spoil your children and gives in to all their demands. The sub-rule of that rule is, there is no reason to replace something that is not finished yet.

Therefore Ivy gently told Elsa that since she still has 2 pages left on her art block, she is not getting a new one today. She will only get a new one when hers is all used up. Elsa protested, “It’s not fair because Umar got a new one !” And then cried.

I agree with Ivy. What she said is true and I although I cannot stand the crying, my children needs to understand about a teacher’s authority. Kids nowadays lack that. No more respect for teachers.

And so I dragged my crying child to the car. She didn’t stop crying. Neither did she stop with the “It’s not fair !!” declarations.

Umar being Umar tried to console his sister.

“Ti… come and baring at me, Ti…” he offered. Elsa dutifully put her head on his lap, still sobbing. He stroked her hair and face lovingly. “Ti !” He exclaimed. “You are heavy, Ti ! I can feel you are heavy !! Look how you have grown !!”

Aku tergelak kat depan sorang – sorang. He played with his sister’s desire to grow big and tall. Suddenly Elsa sat down.

“Ummm…..” She sobbed. “Next time can you wait for your sister ?”

“Wait for what ?”

“Can you not finish your art block first ? Can you wait for your little (she stressed this bit) sister to finish together ?” She pleaded. Aku dah start sengih.

“Itulah, Ti. I don’t understand why we didn’t finish together… Oh… I think I know… yang hari tu Umar tak datang sebab demamm…..” Said my son, wiping the tears away from his little sister’s face with hand.

Aduhai anak ku.

Elsa

Elsa…. Elsa kena sayang abang because abang loves you very, very, very much.

Saturday night you guys were fooling around, wrestling and such when your ulcer bled. You showed it to your precious abang and he inspected your mouth. He then took you to the bathroom, opened the tap and instructed you to gargle some water. He scooped water to your mouth many, many times before he is satisfied that the blood is gone. He wiped your face dry with a towel before hugging you and telling you everything is okay. I can’t sleep that night as I keep thinking about it and I want you to think about that incident too if you ever decided that you hate your brother.

Or what about when you swapped your iced-tea for my sirap limau. Umar was aghast that I allowed you to drink something with ‘biji’ in it. During the course of the meal he kept reminding you to watch out for the ‘biji-biji’ and whenever you took a sip, his eyes watched the beverage like a hawk, making sure none of the offending ‘biji’ is swallowed by his little sister.

Remember that Elsa whenever you think what a jerk your big brother is.

Please also try to remember throughout the course of your life that you love your brother very much too.

We were on the way home from watching Get Smart and the 2 of you of course played rough at the back seat. Umar accidently socked you at the mouth and hit your ulcer. You must be in an excruciating pain but you hid it well so that Umar wouldn’t be in trouble. You kept saying, “I’m okay, Um… I’m okay… Tak sakit pun..” when Umar gave you his once over but I saw you winced in pain. That was really nice of you my darling and I know you did it because you love your abang.

But what I will always remember is how much you re your abah’s little girl. I am not ashamed to admit that I am jealous of the amount of love you bestow on your abah. You took out his picture from my purse and showed it around, saying how cute your father is. He he…

Well… last night, I was cooking when you approached me. “Mummy…. Abah is hurt …” Said you. I asked who had hurt your Abah and you with a disbelief look said, “You did, Mum !! It was you ! Abah sekarang dah sakit kepala !!”

I have to say that I was shocked that you decided to confront me. I tried denying it. You insisted, “Mum… Abah terantuk kepala when you slam dunk him !!” You shook your head when you said that, one hand on your forehead.

For the record I didn’t slam dunk him… I was just trying to wrestle the remote control from him and in that process he hit his head on the bed headboard. In all fairness it was all Rashdan’s fault because he stuck his tongue out to me when I requested for the remote nicely.

“Mana ada… I did no such thing !!” I protested in mock horror. Again you rested your forehead on your palm and shook your head. “Ada !! You did it Mum !! Now Abah is hurt …”. You stood there, looking at me accusingly and I felt so wretched for hurting your Abah eventhough he deserved it (and really all in good fun lah… no biggie…..).

But the thing that I will remember the most is the way you, Elsa at 5 years old, spelt teh-o-ais … T-O-S… a bit of English and at the T and Indonesian at the S but it was music to my ears… my funny, bunny….

Kelakarlah Titi ni...

My darling Elsa,

I spent the most wonderful weekend with you. You are 5 and so full of character, I am compelled to write this to you, in hope that you will not lose your funny side, your berangan side when real life hits you.

I was watching telly last weekend when from the corner of my eye, I saw you came out of your room, holding a tall, gold gift box with pretty gold ribbons on the lid. You put the box in front of the door and slammed the door shut. I was intrigued and decided to watch you instead of the telly. It was the best decision I made.

I saw you opened the door, and squealed in delight, “A present for me ? What a nice surprise !! ”. You bent down to pick up the gift and skipped happily back to your room. What did Mummy do ? I roared with laughter and mirth and disbelief. Apa hal ko, nak ?

After your art class, I took you and your brother Umar to the local shop and abang found the Pokemon chips that he is collecting. Of course you took one too and at home when you eagerly opened the packet, I picked one chip out and was amused when I saw you got Minun. You know how I like to tease and I let out a laugh and said, “Ha ha… tengok ni… Titi dapat Pokemon nama Minum !!!” Umar joined in the laughter but you didn’t. You were angry and started crying.

I was very much surprised at your tears and told you that it was a joke. I expected laughter. You informed me in between sobs that you didn’t think my joke was funny and cried even louder.

Darling… you know how much mummy hates crying and therefore I asked you to do your crying in your room. You came back to me after a few minutes, traces of your waterworks gone.

“Mum…. Why don’t you say Minum again, Mum !!” Said you.

I didn’t want to do it because I didn’t want to risk another crying fit but you insisted on it. With a sigh I said, “Titi dapat Minum ?” and you laughed. You laughed and laughed and laughed. “It’s so funny, Mummy !! Ha ha ha … Minum…..Ha ha ha.”

If you remember this episode and all you can think of was my look of horror, please forgive me because I didn’t get the joke this time around.

“See Mummy ?” Said you. “I tricked you…I knew it was funny but I tricked you. Saya pretend saja cry…..” You screwed up your face and went “Wa ! Wa ! Wa” before you laughed again and said, “ See ? I pretend saja to cry… I tricked you Mum ! Ha ha….. I tricked you…” and all I can think about it is either you are sick or you are trying to apologise and make amends by laughing to my jokes 10 minutes too late.

Whatever it is honey.. you will never be boring. Kalakarlah Titi ni.

Happy Father's Day !!

Semalam was a sad Father’s Day for Dan. Kesian dia.

Dan’s eldest sister accompanied her husband to Terengganu for a business trip so her kids were sent to Atuk and Wan for 1 night. The last time was saw our kids was Saturday afternoon and we only got them back almost Maghrib on Sunday.

We had sushi for dinner just the 2 of us on Saturday. Had breakfast very much just the two of us. And on the way home from lunch (sans our kids, of course) we saw Atuk’s car filled to the brim with children going the opposite way.

When we got home, Dan slowed his car at the house’s front door.

“Ada tak kasut budak2 tu ?” Asked him.

The shoes were on the owners’ feet somewhere…. Not near their parents.

“Takde….” Said he slowly and sadly.

That morning we were at a clinic. I went in for a check-up and when I came out Dan was playing peek-a-boo with a baby. When he saw me, he of course asked how things were and we talked. The baby threw a hissy-fit because Dan ignored him.

He he…

Then when my name was called for payment, Dan went with me to the counter and the baby started wailing. Dan had to go to him, explained that he had to go home and held the baby for a while… It was a tearful goodbye.

“Dan… bagitau Elsa ada orang nak ambik Babah dia…. Mesti dia tension…” Suggested me gleefully. However I didn’t take into account that Elsa was having the time of her life with her cousins and parents just don’t fit in the picture.

“Ti… tadi ada baby nak ambik Babah Titi !!” Said me when I managed to grab her when she wheezed past me.

“What ?” Said she distractedly.

“Ada baby tadi suruh Abah balik dengan dia… Ikut dia balik pegi rumah dia….”

She looked at me and said, “Are you sure ?” and wiggled herself free.

Babah and I exchanged looks.

When I managed to stop her next, Babah recounted the story. And the little madam said, “I know already !! You told me the story !!” Said she, angry that we disrupted her fun.

Nak cakap apa ?

When both of them finally returned to us, all flushed and sweaty from the very entertaining day, Dan and I instinctively wrapped each other in a tight coil.

“Baru sekarang nak cari Abah ?” Asked Dan.

Elsa was kissing his arm and Umar was about to hop into the bed.

“Bah…. “ Said Elsa.

“Abah sedih tau… Abah nak lari pergi batu belah batu bertangkup….” He threatened. That is of course the cue for Umar to cry. Elsa showered us with more kisses. Me ? I was rather smothered in the coil and was not in any position to talk.

“Waa…. Waaa….” Abahnya nangis. Umar ‘s bawling went an octave higher and Elsa laughed nervously.

When I managed to surface for air, I said “Umar kan Bah semalam dia plan nak bawak you pegi club… Nak swimming and and bowling ngan Abah… Wants to do something fun dengan Abah for Father’s Day (although the fun looks more for him that Abahnya).. Tapi hari ni all is forgotten Bah ….”

Umar sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

“Kalau Abah tahu… Abah ikut baby tu balik…. At least dia sayang Abah… nak main dengan Abah…”

And si Elsa cakap, “Mana boleh. You are my Father !! You cannot follow other people…! ” Eyes huge with anger.

Oohh…. tadi... are you sure lah… you told me the story already lah.. Cousins dah balik…. baru ingat mak bapak ye….

Happy Father’s Day, Babah !!

Ye ke Mummy ?

We were waiting for Dan at one of Cineleisure many entrances (or exits) last Friday after watching Kung Panda (Movie review : Toksah cakap banyak just pi tengok. The most amazing, witty and hilarious movie this year…. Cannot say ever because takut ada yesteryear movies yang lagi kelakar that slipped my mind ).

Elsa and Umar were sitting underneath this very weird looking thing when I decided .. hmm…. I’m bored. So I set out to create some mischief.

“Oiii… korang ! Be careful.. !! That is an alien space ship !!”

Both of my kids looked shocked and instinctively looked up at the thing whose raised platform (the thingy was placed on a raised platform… it doesn’t have any platforms at all. The thing actually looked like a metal baobab tree…. Maybe…) provided them with a place to rest.

In a second they moved their butts and stood next to me, looking at the thingy. Elsa in wonder but Umar doubtfully. Dah besar kan.

“That is not a space ship….” Said he very cautiously.

“Yes it is…” I insisted. “Can’t you see the little green men inside ?”

“Mana ada…..”

“Ada…. It is an alien space ship lah….”
Umar looked at me… He was smiling in disbelief, eyes crinkled, brows furrowed. Elsa was just staring at it.

“Mum !! Mana ada. That is Data Scan lah…” There was a label there, stuck on it’s round head.

“What is Data Scan, Um ? What does it do ?”

“I don’t know. But it says there Data Scan….”

“Okay lah… but what is Data Scan ?”

“Stop it Mum. You are embarrassing me …” Cess…Mana ada orang kat situ. We were there alone…. He he…

“Um… I think Data Scan is the brand of the spaceship. You know…like Proton and Mercedes are car brands, right ? Well Data Scan is the brand of this spaceship !!”

“Mumm……” Said Elsa laughing nervously.

“Iye….Tengok tu. What on earth would look funny like that ? I have never seen it before. It must be from outer space. Maybe Mars….”

Abahnya datang.

“Abah ! Mummy kata ini space ship, Bah !! Ada alien ….” Said Elsa. I like seeing Elsa holding out her hand for her Abah to hold every time she sees him.

“A-ah… Memanglah… Dah jom… Karang dia lift off karang….” And we trooped out of the complex. Me smilingly at Dan, Dan menggeleng kepala at me, Elsa content with holding her Abah’s hand and Umar who kept looking back at that Data Scan thingy.

He he…

Little girls and little boys

“Little girls are the best thing in the world kan ?” Said I to me little girl.

“Yes… Said my daughter happily.”

I stroked her hair, felt the smoothness of her cheeks and rubbed her bare back. She was happy being the best thing in the world.

Then suddenly, “Tapi kan.. what about little boys ?” She asked, cocking her head.

“Why ?” Asked I.

“U-um is also very, very good, Mum…” Said she, brows furrowed. She didn’t look at me, but more into space.

He he….

We have that conversation numerous times and she always is very adamant that I have to find little boys wonderful, too.

Yesterday I asked her brother. There were just the 2 of us watching telly and he had his head on my shoulder.

“This is soooo comfortable, Mum. Because I am resting on your shoulder…” Said he.

I pinched his very taut and ample cheeks (sebijik macam Kung Fu Panda).

“Little boys are the best thing in the world, kan Um ?”

“Yes !!” He said happily.

Then…” What about little girls, Mum ?”

“What about them ?”

“Little girls are special, too.”

“Which one ? Which one is special ?”

“Everyone of them is special, Mum !! Really…. Little girls are nice too…. “

He he…. He didn’t mention names but I am satisfied. My darling boy…..

Elsa and rambutnya

“ Mum masa I pegi sekolah baby dulu-dulu kan..( Eii ? Sekolah baby mana ? This is your first time going to school lah ) I farted in front of my teacher…” Said my little girl to me with a laugh.

“ Really ? What did you do after that ? ” Oh my…..

“ I farted and then I walked away, Mum….” Said she.

He he.. comelnya.

But when it comes to her hair, di situ ada kurang comel. For some reason, my daughter likes getting her hair cut. She also likes having it cut at the mamak shop. Whenever her father and brother sought the services of the barber, she would whine and whine for the same treatment.

This time though Babah is adamant that she gets her hair cut at a more feminine place. So yesterday I took her to a salon in Shah Alam Mall. She came out with a neat bob and short fringes. Babah hated it (“ I thought I told you to give her a layered cut ? ” Said Babah to Mummy and Mummy replied, “ Then next time you bawak le anak you pergi sendiri, okay ? ”) but she totally loves it, although it was the same haircut she got from the mamak fella.

On the way home, Babah rolled down the car screens because we bought some food ( Babah’s pet peeves is cars that smells of food… It was just corn in cup, people…). After about 2 minutes, I heard my daughter shouted, “ Bah.. what are you doing ? Close the window Bah. My hair is ruined !! ” Babah didn’t hear because of the noise outside. I turned to look at her and saw her clutching her hair, face very unhappy.

“ Dan, tutup tingkap. Rambut anak awak tu dah bersepah… Marah dia…” Dan quickly rolled up the window.

“Now look at what you have done !!” She wailed. “My hair dah tak cantik !!”

Hmm…….

The next morning when Babah was bathing them, I heard her screaming, “Not my hair !! Not my hair !!” at the same time I heard the sound of the water came out of the shower nozzle. Aduih …. Susah ni…

She stormed out of the bathroom with a murderous look and some of her hair wet. When she got to me, she sobbed, “My hair is ruined !! Babah buat !!” Babah stood at the doorway looking helpless and….. damp.

I took our purple hairbrush out, turned on the hair dryer and tried my darnest to style her hair with the fresh-out-of-the-hairdresser’s look.

“Haa…. Kan dah cantik…. See ? See ?” Said I, pushing her to the mirror.

“Cantik ke, Mummy ?” Her eyes glistened. She preened and preened at herself.
Waaaa……. !! Macamana nak handle ni ? Tak nak bagi perasan and tak nak bagi merendah diri…

How do I balance that ?

Why can't it be mine ?

Dan called me from home yesterday. The lucky sod is on holiday before joining his new employer next month.

“Tadi pegi makan kat Sari Ratu dengan mak and abah dengan budak-budak.”

“Kay..” I was mono-syllabic due to jealousy.

“Anak awak si Elsa ni rupa-rupanya suka makan pari. Seketul dia belasah…” Reported the father.

“Sekarang ni tengah belasah potato crisps yang awak sorok dalam almari…” Said he again.

“Laa….. ada hantu raya ke budak ni ?” Asked I.

Dan then passed the phone to Elsa.

“Mummy… tadi we went to buy… apa Bah ? What did we buy just now dengan atuk ? Aa…. Massage chair….” Said my little girl.

“Lepas tu I sit in it and then that chair tu angkat my bontot !!”

He he….

“What are you doing right now ?” Asked I.

“Makan crisps….”

“Elsa ambik kat dalam my almari ke ? That is mine you know….” Said I. Saja je nak cari gaduh.

She went quiet. Then she said, “Why is it yours, Mum ? Why cannot it be mine ?”

My turn to be quiet. I just hate saying “Because I said so…” for some reason so I remained quiet.

He he….

Umar on a diet

I think my son is on a diet.

When we went to watch Iron Man, Umar refused snacks. My children only get to eat junk food at the cinemas but my baby boy, he waived away this treat last Wednesday night.

“Nothing for me, Mum. Thanks.” Was the answer. Dan and I looked at each other with raised eyebrows but didn’t say anything. Elsa offered him some of her Roller Coaster but he shook his head.

I made sandwiches for Sunday dinner and I usually team it up with crisps or cold potato salad. Malas punya pasal, I opened a bag of crisps. A huge bag. When I offered the bowl of crisps to Umar, he shook his head.

“No thank you. They are fattening, you know….”

Dan and I raised our eyebrows and watched him eat. He is truly on a diet because he didn’t even take one. Well… he did actually, then he caught himself, hand with crisp hovered on the bowl for awhile when he finally broke it in two and took a half piece.

“Takpelah Umar. Makan sikit takpe. Janganlah jadi habit makan hari-hari banyak-banyak. I have to watch my weight too but I still eat it. In moderation lah…” Said I.

He shook his head and drank more water.

Kesian… but he does need to loose weight. But… he is a baby kan…. Tapi kaki dia karang dok terdengkot lagi….

Hmmmm…………….. susah mau cerita

Everybody makes mistakes, Ti !

Ha ha… after berhu-ha hu-ha at my brother’s house (birthday party Alisha), things were tensed in the car on the way home. Itule… Tok Mi selalu pesan, “Jangan dok gelak2 sangat….. Karang nangis.” (In fact Dan likes to say that to me and my siblings a lot. Bila kita org gelak2 lebih sikit je… mula le keluar suara dia bagi warning. Adik2 aku dulu selalu looked at each other and then then tambah gelak double kuat. Lepas tu mula lah “Apalah abang Dan… jealous ke ?” Dan kemudian bertekak le si Rashdan dengan sesiapa antara kami berlapan…).

It was a good party because my brother had to give Umar a towel to wipe himself off his peluh. We had to that to him 3 times. Gila…. So on the journey home, Dan rolled down all 4 windows.

Entah macamana as he rolled them up again, at the same time Elsa pressed the window control down and the window on Elsa’s side became stucked midway. Angin lah orang tua tu. We went in my car pulak tu and everybody knows how notoriously incompetent Proton’s windows are. Bok bek, bok bek, bok bek si Rashdan berleter. Elsa remained quiet, as usual. That Ice-Queen. Umar would have been bowled over with tears but she remained composed.

Luckily we were able to put it to right back when we got home. I entered the house first and went straight up the stairs. My children were behind me.

“Do you feel bad, Ti ?” I heard Umar asked. I turned around and saw him hugging his sister by the shoulders. I looked away. I wanted to give them some privacy… he he…

I suppose Elsa nodded her head because Umar said, “It’s okay, Ti. Everybody makes mistakes. You didn’t mean it, kan ? Everybody makes mistakes. Okay, Ti ?”

And baru tu lah aku dengar anak aku nangis. I switched in the lights in their room and tengok2 both are naked and ready for an 11pm bath… Abang pimpin tangan adik masuk bathroom.

Hmmm……………….

Next week is exam week and we have been revising with Umar after dinner. Last night though was mengaji night and they usually will salam their ustaz at 9.30 pm and you know what time is 9.30 to Umar.

After ustaz Omar left, Umar approached me.

“Mumm…. Little boys kan they have a lot of energy in the morning. Bila dah malam their energy pooped/popped out (it sounds like poop but well… I know enough what he means) by 9.30. 9.31 kan they have to sleep.” Nampak sangat nak ngelat from doing his revisions.

All I said was “Oh, really ?”

His cousins were still around and he went to join his cousins.

“Umar, it’s 9.35. Why aren’t you sleeping yet ? I thought you said you have to sleep by 9.31 ?”

And his answer ? “Sometimes kita ada sikit extra energy, Mummy. So takpe. I don’t have to sleep now….” Oh, pandainya kau.

But, by 9.45 when everybody had left, I found him asleep in his bed, snugly covered in his duvet. Little girls though do not apply to that rule because by 10 am, Elsa was still reading in bed.

Because Mummy has magic hands, Elsa kena pegi sekolah

Last week,

“Mummy… my kaki sakit.” Complained my little girl.

“Ok let me have a look at it.”

“I don’t think I can go to school today. My kaki sakit….”

Hmm… dulu dok bising nak pi sekolah sekarang dah pandai ngelat.

“It’s okay. Let me urut your kaki. If mummy urut mesti baik punya because I’m your mother. I have Magic Hands.”

She looked at me skeptically as I massaged her tiny feet. Dear me… they are really tiny.

“You do have Magic hands, Mum !! I am all better !!” She said in wonderment after a few minutes.

He he….

3 days ago,

“Mumm… can you use your Magic Hands ? My kaki sakit lagi lah….” She complained.

I rolled up my sleeves and massaged her tiny legs.

“Look, Bah. I am all better ! Mummy has Magic Hands !” She announced happily.

But then…

“Tapi kan Bah, teacher cakap hari ni cuti.” Said she.

“Mana ada cuti.” Replied her Babah.

“Ya, Bah !! teacher cakap cuti…..” Her eyes big and reound.

“Cuti apa ?” Challenged her Babah.

“Cuti lah… cuti saja lah….”

Babah looked at her, his lips thinned.

“Takde takde… pegi mandi….”

He he….

Umar ku yang tembam

I was eating keropok sayur last week when Umar entered my room. I offered him the keropok, knowing it is one of his favourites.

“No, thank you. I don’t want it…”

“Are you sure ?”

“Yes…. I’m trying to lose weight so I cannot eat crunchy stuffs…” Mula dah teori merepek dia nih.

Umar has been complaining about his knee lately… well for about 3 months already. Jalan pun terdengkut-dengkut, especially after he’d been sitting for a long period. We took him to see Dr Woodhull and he diagnosed over-weight-ness… he he… The good doctor said his legs couldn’t support his wide girth.

Okay. So we have been watching his food. Him not so but lately he has been quite cautious about what he eats. His tennis coach had been quite good. Incorporating workouts that would him build his muscles in his lessons.

“Okay. I am glad that you are starting to take care of yourself…” said me, putting the keropok away. Well if my son is on a diet, I will support him.

“Yup. I cannot eat crunchy stuffs because they can make me fat. My friend Iddin is very thin mummy… because kan mak dia kan bagi dia makan soft food. Nasi lah… mee lah….”.

“Okay, so you want to take that to school instead of the usual stuffs I give you ?”

“Tak payah. Dia beli kat canteen je…..”

Ha !! That one is a no-no… Mummy tak percaya the level of kebersihan at any canteens. So that is why nowadays Mummy cooks Umar’s bekal malam-malam.

Pengorbanan.

Perkara Umar

One day my children and I saw a little boy in a Superman suit. His costume of course attracted onlookers, my children especially so. They kept staring at him and that boy was proudly showing off his costume. So cute.

“I wonder if he could fly ?” I asked cheekily.

Umar and Elsa stared some more. I saw Umar opened and closed his mouth a few times. He finally succumbed to temptation.

“Can you fly ?” He asked.

The boy looked at him blankly and kept modeling his outfit.

“Maybe you have to ask him in Bahasa Malaysia…” I suggested.

He looked at the boy again.

“Dik, awak boleh terbang ke ?” He he … Dengan mata bulatnya, his face so curious. I know he was thinking of asking for one himself if the boy answered in the affirmative.

The Superman shook his head.

“Tak boleh lah Mummy !!” Said Elsa with a clearly disappointed laugh.

He he…


There was this one time when Elsa had started crawling, my children and I were sitting about on the first floor family room. I remember Elsa was sitting next to me reading a book. Umar who was sitting in front of his sister suddenly leaned over her and looked closely at her face. I just watched him.

He suddenly said, “ Mummy, kenapa muka dia ni macam kambing ha ? ”

Cess !! Tetapi… that is why we sometimes call her kambing…. He he…


Guna, Dan’s good friend went to Australia last month visiting his lovely daughter (seriously, the daughter is gorgeous beyond reason). He came back and brought us lovely family bar Kit Kats and huge Crunch. We were very grateful for the thoughtful gift.

One day I noticed one whole bar of Kit Kat was gone and as I was wondering what happened to it, out came abang and adik from the playroom. One was clutching a red, shiny foil wrapper and one was licking her fingers.

“Did you guys finish off the whole bar ?”

All I got was one attempt to give me a straight face and one a really schooled straight face.

“Both of you habiskan the whole Kit Kat ?”

“It was very yummy, Mummy !!” Said Elsa smiling nervously.

“It was really good, Mummy..”Said Umar.

“I am sure it is good but why must you guys habiskan the whole thing ?”

Both of them grinned but I refused to back down. Bukan apa… saja je carik gaduh.

Suddenly Umar said, “Hey… I thought you said no Nestle’s products allowed ? I thought you said no Nestle’s product at home ?” One fat finger up. His face lit up with glee with the thought of Mummy did a no-no.

I was actually flustered. I closed and opened my mouth a few times, trying to find a reason why the chocolates were in my fridge.

“Eii !! It’s a present lah. If somebody gave you a present you can’t refused it. That is rude. It is more berdosa kecik kan hato orang, you know….” Said I dengan penuh goody-two-shoesnya. He… he….

Oii betul dak ? Takkan lah aku nak kata “Oohh… no thanks. It is against my principals. But, enjoy your chocolates all the same…”. Dah pandai dah anak aku sekarang nak menyelamatkan diri...

Elsa's problems

I think Elsa has a problem with her height.

“I do not want to go to sekolah kebangsaan lah Mummy.” She told me one day as were passing my old SRK Seksyen 6.

“Why ?”

“Because there are so many people there. I just want to stay at Ikhlas because there are only small people there. No big people.”

Alahai kesiannya.

Last week, her Babah put something on our tallboy and she wanted to look at it. She stood on her toes and jumped and jumped but she just couldn’t reach it. When her Babah returned to the room, she complained, “I am to small lah, Bah !!” Her eyebrows furrowed.

Alahai kesiannya. Macamana nak buat tu ?


She also has a problem with her school attire.

“Mummy, I tak nak pakai uniform.”

“School uniform ?”

“Yes…. It is so boring.”

“Why ?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged her tiny shoulders.

“Well, you have to wear them all the same because nanti teacher tak bagi Titi pegi school.”

“Alah…” She tilted her head. She looked worried.

“Apa masalahnya ? What is the problem ?”

“I wear the same baju over and over again… It is not nice…”

Pulak…. Dah pandai dah….


Today, when I want to put on her tudung for her, she said, “ Nanti sajalah Mummy…”

Why ? I asked and she said sheepishly, “ Because I look funny. I don’t want to look funny. Like a Pokemon….

Pokemon yang mana pakai tudung, Ti ?


She also had something to say when I asked her to finish up her food.

“Elsa, finish up your food, kalau tak nanti nasi tu nangis,” I warned Elsa for the umpteenth time. And for the same amount of time she looked indolently at me.

“Mummy, nasi tak de mata lah Mummy.”

“So ?”

“Then nasi cannot cry lah.. Dia tak de mata….” She scrutinized one grain of rice and showed it to me.

“See ? See ? Tak de mata pun….”

Arghhh !!