Sugus and The Dancing Crowd

One day, Mummy was beleking the food on display at a cashier and decided to try Sugus’ new … errmm….what do you call it ? Fruit pastel, I think ? You know the jelly like fruit flavoured, like gummy bears.

Anyway, bought one and showed it to my kids.

They were excited (kesian, I hardly ever layan them in that department) and I quickly popped one while backing out of the parking space.

Suddenly,

“Mummy ! Jangan makan while you drive. Nanti you want to dance !”

Ha ?

“Oh no, Mummy ! You cannot drive while you dance !! Stop eating ! Spit it out ! Spit it out !”

Punya lah terkejut, nasib baik tak brake.

Looked at Umar for comprehension and he just looked at me with wide eyes.

“What are you talking about ?”

“Kan dekat tv tu bila dia makan dia ramai-ramai dancing – dancing !” Explained my still horrified daughter.

And I laughed when the telly advert for the sweet that I am eating played in my head.

He he…..

You know which one I am talking about ?

The advertisement controversy

Mummy and Babah took Umar and Elsa to watch Transformers yesterday.

While waiting for the movie to start, we allowed ourselves to be influenced by the media.

The first advertisement we saw was pretty scary. It showed 3 beautiful people (they cannot possibly exist due to extreme beauty) clad in black, looking calmly and resolutely at these horrific monsters in white, caked with white flaky substance. The monsters were dancing menacingly on strands of hair and once one rub his arm to release white flakes. Macam snow berterbangan. The 3 heroes (yelah selalunya dah handsome-handsome, lawa-lawa mesti hero punya) gave a little smile, very much undaunted, every hair still very much in place.

It is quite scary, really. The white monsters, all flaky with yellow eyes, smiling evilly.

My scalp started to itch because seriously by then you already figured out those white monsters are dandruffs.

Arrows appeared out of nowhere and these 3 fired it coolly, again with hair and baju all in place, without a sweat killing the dancing kelemumurs.

My scalp itches some more and wanted that particular shampoo that those 3 beauties miraculously turned into.

“That is iklan to buy shampoo ?” Asked my son, face screwed.

“Why so scary ?” he asked again, both palms up.

“If they want to make people to buy their shampoo kan, Mummy they have to make us feel good..” He looked at me, frowning.

“How ?” I challenged him.

“Well… with smiling people, singing… Sunshine……Nice hair… That can make people happy enough to buy shampoo. This one is scary ! Nobody wants to buy their shampoo…” He said, shaking his head, all superior.

Really ? It seems to work for me as kepala aku tetiba gatai ni. Satgi nak pi beli shampoo yang had tu jugak ….. He he.

Beer advertisement came on.

3 men (again, so beautiful) appeared to be stranded on an inhibited island, shouting happily at a helicopter hovering near. They were puzzled when the heli flew away but then it came back with crates of beer and dropped it near them.

The boys frowned beautifully.

Then the heli was back and dropped off a shed, and soon the island turned into a resort with beautiful girls serving beer. A party was on. The boys were oh so happy, drinking and flirting with the girls.

“What is this ?” Asked the beautiful boy next to me.

“I don’t understand, Mummy. They should ask the helicopter to take them home. Bukannya bagi air. Now they are still stuck there !” Palms up again, brows furrowed deeper. You are so gonna get wrinkles early, sonny.

I don’t understand…” He repeated again.

Then, “Must be one hell of a drink, eh Mummy ?”

Ha ha ha ha ha !!!

Punya lah gelak lupa nak habaq ayaq tu ayaq kencing setan…

Habis lah Mummy

Ooo-oohh…. Terrible news. Auta aku dah tak menjadi dah. I use them too much probably so my children are immune to it by now.

I had breakfast with Dan and Elsa yesterday. We were to pick up my car from Segambut so we had to go to the office late. Plus mechanic didn’t want to keep the car due to space constraint and insisted we pick it up pronto. Makan dulu sebelum pergi.

Elsa asked for nasi lemak and drumstick. When she got up to wash her hands I noticed there were still plenty of nasi in her plate.

“Oii…. Tu … nasi tu tak habis. Nanti nasi cry…..” Said I.

You know what she did ? She rolled her eyes, looked at me squarely and gave a determined “Tak !”

Errrkkk ! Foolishly I had nothing to say.

So tell me, how can a mother survives without her autas ?

Doa Elsa

A few days ago, I lectured my children on lying.

“Lying is blah, blah…. Orang yang jahat saja yang suka menipu… Allah doesn’t like liars and if you die a liar, Allah will cut your tongue and humban masuk neraka.. Nag, nag, nag….”

Took a deep breath and continued, “If you lie and got away with it, it doesn’t mean Allah will let you go. Allah knows all and he is very fair… blah, blah, blah… If you lie, you could be put to jail and when you die, kena lagi. Dah lah masuk jail,pastu masuk neraka pulak tu…..”

Then, “Ishh.... itu tak cukup doa lah, Mummy..” Said my daughter, looking at the scenery outside.

“Hmmm ?”

“Iye, orang macam tu dia tak cukup doa…Okay, let me teach you something, okay ?” She twisted her body to face me.

“Macam ni… I know a doa that can get us to syurga. You listen carefully okay ? Allahuma ajirna minnannar…” she said, eyes never leaving my face.

“You got that, Mummy ? You know, now ? Kalau kita baca doa tu, we will not go to neraka….” Terangguk – angguk kepala bercerita.

He he…. “But Elsa, if you baca that doa repeatedly but still lie, and steal and talk bad about other people, you will still go to neraka… You cannot baca that doa everytime after you do bad things, hoping it will be a free ticket to go to syurga….”

“Hmm…..Really, mummy ?” She said, eyes screwed. nI left things at that, with her hand supporting her chin in deep thought.

Keh keh…

This other conversation between my daughter and I happened on our way to buy groceries. I had forgotten my list as usual and to avoid forgetting the ingredients for dinner, instructed Umar to remember potatoes and Elsa to remember broccoli.

About 5 minutes to the shop, I tested them on their memory. Umar did well but my daughter went, “Errmmm……….” grinning at me. “What is it, Elsa ? What is it you suppose to remember ?”

“Food ?” She tried.

“Of course it is food, but what kind ?”

“Ummm….. Ahhh…. Errmmmm”

‘Broccoli, lah….”

Baru 5 minit, dah lupa… Tak boleh nak marah. Macam maknya… Keh keh

Kawan Mummy muka Jawa..

This story was told by my friend, Mashar during our Class S4 reunion.

“Myra ! Anak ko kan pandai betullah.. Mentang – mentang muka aku jawa, dia cakap Melayu dengan aku. Ngan orang lain speaking. Bila dengan aku, “Abang… boleh tak Abang tolong saya ambil barang ?” Bila aku balas dengan speaking balik, baru dia “Uncle, uncle…” Apa, ingat aku tak tau cakap orang putih ke ?”

Keh keh… Sorry le, Mashar. Part tu aku tak leh tolong…..

This other story was told by Amelia when we went jogging on Friday. She said during our last gathering at the house, the kaum bapa were sitting outside, chatting and minding the children playing.

Umar… alahai Umar ku… Umar announced to his friends, “Mari kita menembak bola !” which is a direct translation of ‘Let’s shoot the ball ..’

From the patio, Sheik corrected him, “Mari kita menendang bola….”

He he… thank you for helping me to raise my son. Need all the help I can get…

Elsa

Two or three nights ago we were in the car, searching for dinner. The little girl sat behind me. At one point, unbuckled her seat belt and hugged the back of my seat.

“Mummy… are you already old ?” She asked, caressing my face from behind. I am used to this question because I kept giving them me being old as excuses not to cook, or play or dukung. He he…. So I thought nothing of it and answered in the affirmative.

“Why ?” I asked.

“Because your skin doesn’t look nice. It looks old… Macam dah tua…”

Oh bengkek yang membuak-buak. I turned to Abah and exclaimed, “Why she never say stuffs like this to you ?” Abah gave a part guilty and a part amused smile. But the one that made me blood go upstairs was a chuckle from behind.

Looked at the source and saw him smiled happily.

They don’t love me anymore.

Waaa…….


Yesterday as I was lying in bed, waiting for Abah to clip his nails, Elsa came to me and said, “Hear this, Mummy. Hear this. Sponge Bob kan cakap ‘I adoooore you….’”, blinking her eyes away.

Lawak lah budak kecik ni.

“What does it mean, this ‘I adore you’” asked me.

Without missing a beat, she lowered her voice, lowered her eyelids and replied, “Cintaku, saya sayang…..”

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !

I rolled to the left and right then right again. Tipped my head up and laughter came from my belly. Babah smiled in amusement, shook his head and looked at me. I know he is not used to this kind of merepekness, so looked at me for help.

I gave him a silent order to just enjoy her, every side of her. She was embarrassed too, seeing me laugh like that. To cover up, she tickled me all over. Tickling my waist, my sole, my neck. He he..

After I recovered, I told her, “Jangan cakap merepek-repek sangat, Elsa. Some people might like it, some won’t. You have to learn to watch what comes out of your mouth…” She just shrugged her shoulders.

I have my work cut out for me.

But still.. it was funny, wasn’t it ?

Birthday talks with Elsa Rashdan

“Mummy… is your birthday next week ?” Asked my daughter suddenly as we lazed on the bed. She sat up from her reclining position.

“Yes..”

“Okay, I am giving you a surprise birthday party okay ? Dahlya can do the cake. Jazmyn can do the sweets and candies. Pastu Umar can do the decoration. Abah can do the burgers and I will do the card. It is going to be sooo beautiful, Mummy… the card… It is going to have pink glitter and heart shapes with Happy Birthday, Mummy. I love you..”

Hmm….

“So… everybody else will be in charge of all the hard work, you will only be doing the card ?”

She pondered this question for a bit before answering, “Oh… making the card is susah, Mummy ! Really ! Because it is going to be beautiful….”

Suka hati ko lah, nak.

She talked about birthdays to her Wan Su also (Maksu aku memang tak aci sikit… Orang lain semua Opah, dia Wan Su… macam nama orang je… keh keh..).

“Wan… After Mummy’s birthday kan is Abah’s birthday. Abah’s birthday is in July. I am going to give Abah a surprise birthday party !” She announced importantly. I can imagine her saying it so I know she did it with great importance. He he

“Oh… ?” Maksu aku ni pun kuat mengusik. “Wan punya birthday pun in July jugak…..”

“Okay !… Then I will give you a surprise birthday party, too. There will be a cake and people will say SURPRISE to you and Abah…” Great planner, this one.

“But if you tell me now, it won’t be a surprise anymore, kan ?” Reasoned Wan Su.

My daughter was stumped for answer this time. She went quiet, then turned around and left the room !

Hai lah….. Kah kah kah !!

Sekejap ada sekejap tak de pun boleh riuh....

Sedihnya… Kalau teringat (which I am doing right now in order to write about it), rasa macam nak nangis. Seksyen 8 was without water last Monday due to a burst pipe so the family came over to the house for mandi.

I was upstairs, nursing my head and minding my sick husband, all the while watching all 4 Die Hards (I love Die Hard). What a multi-tasker, me. Anyway, Mum and Wan left the house after bathing. Anna and Esya predictably decided to stay over.

I heard cryings (plural okay..) and not wishing to wake hubby from his pain-free slumber with the ruckus, decided to investigate. In the kitchen found a sobbing Anna and a wailing Elsa.

Gathered Anna in my arms (being the youngest) and asked her what seems to be the problem.

“Anna nak balik….” Hiccuping all the way.

“Kenapa ?”

“Cookies dah habis… Titi marah Anna….”

I took her outside and calmed her as much as I can. Showed her the frog on the pavement (Ya Allah… help me….), jiggled her on my hips and promised her that I will buy 10 packets of Chip Ahoy for her and her alone. Handed her to my Maksu and searched for my daughter.

Sedih hati aku dengar dia nak balik. Tersedu-sedu menangis punya sedih. Pasal cookies je ?

“Kenapa Titi marah Anna makan cookies ? That is not nice…. Orang dah makan sudah lah… Blah, blah, blah…”

“Bukan .. ! “Protested my daughter tearfully. “I am not angry with her ! Tapi cookies dah habis….pastu… waaa Esya… waaa….. friend…..”

Laa… Cookies kan sekejap ada sekejap takde, so memang sifatnya yang senang habis Beli je lah lagi nanti … Macam seumur hidup tak pernah makan.… Apa hal lak ngan Esya ? I was bloody irritated with my daughter. Takkan pasal tu nak marah Anna ? Tried to get the story straight since she kept protesting that she wasn’t angry at Anna but couldn’t understand her under all the tears and acute distress.

Called Umar.

“Bukan… Macam ni kan...” He started importantly, eyes huge, finger up.

“Cookies habis kan sebab Esya, Anna and Faris makan kan…Pastu Titi turun kan and she got upset kan sebab cookies habis kan .. Pastu dia nangis kan pastu Esya kata dia tak nak kawan dengan Titi kan… So that is why she cried…”

Errr… What does that got to do with Anna ? When did she enter the picture apart from her participation in polishing off all the cookies ?

“Ohh… Anna takut Mummy marah sebab habiskan cookies. Sebab tu dia nak balik… He he… I think she wants to run away….Ha ha….” Was the explanation from Um.

Jatuh merundum hati ini when I heard that. Sedihnya bukan kepalang. Did she really think I will get mad at her for eating the cookies ? My baby …. My baby….

I took her in my arms again and told her that I love her so much it hurts. We bowed our heads together and I cried too because … well… I wouldn’t love her less would I ? How could I ? How can I ? Because of cookies ? Because of my daughter’s tears for the long gone cookies ?

My sadness was tremendous I think because she thought that she has no standing in my heart. She doesn’t feel secure and safe with me. I felt like a failure.

I hid upstairs and wept and wept and wept.

Then I called my mum. Mum said, “Laa… Anna kan memang macam tu. If bukan dia punya, dia akan tanya..Boleh minum tak ? She will always ask Boleh habis kan, tak ? berkali-kali. Kalau kita kata tak boleh habiskan, she won’t. Anna memang macam tu. She will ask permission punya.. “

Laa…. Ye ke… patut le… When I think about it, what my mum said is true. She will always ask, “Ini Anna punya ke ?” baru dia start makan. If she wants anything she will ask sapa punya dulu, and then ask pulak boleh tak dia makan… Berkali-kali tanya tu sebelum dia makan…

So all that drama ? Sebab Mummy tak pikir… keh keh…. Tapi sedih… Sedih, okay.

Pastu aku teringat satu cerita Anna dengan Tok Yah nya. She found my dad eating sweets and asked, “Tok makan apa ?”

“Weet (sweet) Tok jumpa ni…” Answered my dad, showing her the sweets.

Her face was horrified when she saw what was in Tok’s hand. “Tok ! Itu Anna punya ! Tok makan weet Anna !!” Bapak aku punya kelam kabut masukkan balik sweets tu dalam packagingnya balik, bagi kat cucu yang dok bercekak pinggang depan dia. “Laa ye ke…. Tok nak sikit je…. Okay, okay nanti Tok ganti balik….”

You see, if she has to ask for permission, we must darn well, too !. He he…

Apa yang cute ?

On Tuesday saw the cutest thing. Dahlya messaged me and we got to talking and at the end of the conversation it was agreed that I will pick her and her sister Jazmyn up at 12 and send them to our house.

Anyway, petang saw them playing outside. I saw Umar, Elsa, Dahlya, Jazmyn and Faris… and what looked like a rabbit.

“Is that a rabbit ?” I yelled from upstairs. Typical, after asking then I saw it was actually Gizmo, prancing about with them, chasing the ball.

Boleh buat kawan dengan kucing. Okay lah tu. Ha ha. Comel gila but it stopped being comel when one put Gizmo on the ball and kicked it while he is still on it.

At 6, I went to pasar malam with Maksu and bought loads and loads (RM 8 okay) of keropok lekor. But when we got home, both of my nieces dah balik. Their Abah came when I was in pasar malam. I felt so sad because I know we ran out of cookies and what nots and I wanted to give them something nice to eat. Maksu pulak pi borong otak-otak.

Luckily Amelia and Amir came for a visit and they helped to finish off the food. Amir pandai makan tako. Sedap kan Amir ?

So apa yang comelnya ? Amir makan tako ? Comel lah tu for me considering my son wouldn’t even give it a second glance.

Elsa cari pasal

We had dinner at Sakae Sushi last Saturday. Keinginan di hati nak beli tickets for Terminator. Bila sampai kata pawagam (panggung wayang gambar), the queue was MashaAllah so we decided to have dinner first.

We were eating when suddenly Babah spoke up. “Stop that, Elsa !! If you do that again, Abah pok. Stop it, now !” I was so shocked because it came all of a sudden and when I looked at Elsa, she paled and quickly took out the chopstick in her mouth.

I frowned uncomprehendingly at Babah. “Ni ha…. Budak ni … suka sangat berlakon hisap rokok.. ..” Ohh….. okay.

“You Elsa if you ever take up smoking, I will thrash you like nobody’s business…” Babah sambung lagi.

Usually I don’t agree with Babah’s harsh words, but this subject… go ahead, Bah. We couldn’t tell them enough, in fact.

Anyway when there are things that concerns Elsa, abang mesti nak masuk campur kan ? So I looked at him and saw his face already contorted with fury. “I don’t know why you always want to do stupid things, lah Elsa !”

Keep that up, okay Abang ? Tolong Mummy jaga adik.

Mummy ni....

I am a terrible mom ! I am ! I so am ! And this after posting an article about how modern parenting can be so very competitive.

Okay, seriously why I did what I did just now has got nothing to do with being competitive. I just want the best for my baby boy, my son…

I picked him from school today because my sister is away. When he saw me, his face lit up and came running for his Mammy excitedly.

“Mummy ! I got an A for my Bahasa Malaysia !” I hugged him, muttered how clever he was and he showed me his paper. 85 %.

Well… he always got 80 something. I was expecting above the 90 % mark. My face fell.

“Macamana nak dapat nombor satu macam ni ? You cannot get nombor satu with this kind of results….” I didn’t look at him at all as I was busy looking at his paper. I spotted his mistakes and pointed out why it was wrong. We walked to the car.

In the car I was quiet because in all seriousness, I was disappointed. We studied like mad and I suppose I felt like I failed.

Picked up Elsa and we drove the rest of the journey (1 minute.. ha ha) in silence. When I opened the door, he was already outside, waiting for me, his body erect.

“Are you not happy with me ?” He asked, eyes huge. Very huge. Expectant.

Allahu Akhbar. What kind of a mother am I ? I feel so terrible, I almost lost my head.
I smiled sadly at him, stroked his cheeks and hugged him tight.

“I am baby. Mummy is sorry….”

Hmmm…..