Kelakarlah Titi ni...

My darling Elsa,

I spent the most wonderful weekend with you. You are 5 and so full of character, I am compelled to write this to you, in hope that you will not lose your funny side, your berangan side when real life hits you.

I was watching telly last weekend when from the corner of my eye, I saw you came out of your room, holding a tall, gold gift box with pretty gold ribbons on the lid. You put the box in front of the door and slammed the door shut. I was intrigued and decided to watch you instead of the telly. It was the best decision I made.

I saw you opened the door, and squealed in delight, “A present for me ? What a nice surprise !! ”. You bent down to pick up the gift and skipped happily back to your room. What did Mummy do ? I roared with laughter and mirth and disbelief. Apa hal ko, nak ?

After your art class, I took you and your brother Umar to the local shop and abang found the Pokemon chips that he is collecting. Of course you took one too and at home when you eagerly opened the packet, I picked one chip out and was amused when I saw you got Minun. You know how I like to tease and I let out a laugh and said, “Ha ha… tengok ni… Titi dapat Pokemon nama Minum !!!” Umar joined in the laughter but you didn’t. You were angry and started crying.

I was very much surprised at your tears and told you that it was a joke. I expected laughter. You informed me in between sobs that you didn’t think my joke was funny and cried even louder.

Darling… you know how much mummy hates crying and therefore I asked you to do your crying in your room. You came back to me after a few minutes, traces of your waterworks gone.

“Mum…. Why don’t you say Minum again, Mum !!” Said you.

I didn’t want to do it because I didn’t want to risk another crying fit but you insisted on it. With a sigh I said, “Titi dapat Minum ?” and you laughed. You laughed and laughed and laughed. “It’s so funny, Mummy !! Ha ha ha … Minum…..Ha ha ha.”

If you remember this episode and all you can think of was my look of horror, please forgive me because I didn’t get the joke this time around.

“See Mummy ?” Said you. “I tricked you…I knew it was funny but I tricked you. Saya pretend saja cry…..” You screwed up your face and went “Wa ! Wa ! Wa” before you laughed again and said, “ See ? I pretend saja to cry… I tricked you Mum ! Ha ha….. I tricked you…” and all I can think about it is either you are sick or you are trying to apologise and make amends by laughing to my jokes 10 minutes too late.

Whatever it is honey.. you will never be boring. Kalakarlah Titi ni.

Happy Father's Day !!

Semalam was a sad Father’s Day for Dan. Kesian dia.

Dan’s eldest sister accompanied her husband to Terengganu for a business trip so her kids were sent to Atuk and Wan for 1 night. The last time was saw our kids was Saturday afternoon and we only got them back almost Maghrib on Sunday.

We had sushi for dinner just the 2 of us on Saturday. Had breakfast very much just the two of us. And on the way home from lunch (sans our kids, of course) we saw Atuk’s car filled to the brim with children going the opposite way.

When we got home, Dan slowed his car at the house’s front door.

“Ada tak kasut budak2 tu ?” Asked him.

The shoes were on the owners’ feet somewhere…. Not near their parents.

“Takde….” Said he slowly and sadly.

That morning we were at a clinic. I went in for a check-up and when I came out Dan was playing peek-a-boo with a baby. When he saw me, he of course asked how things were and we talked. The baby threw a hissy-fit because Dan ignored him.

He he…

Then when my name was called for payment, Dan went with me to the counter and the baby started wailing. Dan had to go to him, explained that he had to go home and held the baby for a while… It was a tearful goodbye.

“Dan… bagitau Elsa ada orang nak ambik Babah dia…. Mesti dia tension…” Suggested me gleefully. However I didn’t take into account that Elsa was having the time of her life with her cousins and parents just don’t fit in the picture.

“Ti… tadi ada baby nak ambik Babah Titi !!” Said me when I managed to grab her when she wheezed past me.

“What ?” Said she distractedly.

“Ada baby tadi suruh Abah balik dengan dia… Ikut dia balik pegi rumah dia….”

She looked at me and said, “Are you sure ?” and wiggled herself free.

Babah and I exchanged looks.

When I managed to stop her next, Babah recounted the story. And the little madam said, “I know already !! You told me the story !!” Said she, angry that we disrupted her fun.

Nak cakap apa ?

When both of them finally returned to us, all flushed and sweaty from the very entertaining day, Dan and I instinctively wrapped each other in a tight coil.

“Baru sekarang nak cari Abah ?” Asked Dan.

Elsa was kissing his arm and Umar was about to hop into the bed.

“Bah…. “ Said Elsa.

“Abah sedih tau… Abah nak lari pergi batu belah batu bertangkup….” He threatened. That is of course the cue for Umar to cry. Elsa showered us with more kisses. Me ? I was rather smothered in the coil and was not in any position to talk.

“Waa…. Waaa….” Abahnya nangis. Umar ‘s bawling went an octave higher and Elsa laughed nervously.

When I managed to surface for air, I said “Umar kan Bah semalam dia plan nak bawak you pegi club… Nak swimming and and bowling ngan Abah… Wants to do something fun dengan Abah for Father’s Day (although the fun looks more for him that Abahnya).. Tapi hari ni all is forgotten Bah ….”

Umar sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

“Kalau Abah tahu… Abah ikut baby tu balik…. At least dia sayang Abah… nak main dengan Abah…”

And si Elsa cakap, “Mana boleh. You are my Father !! You cannot follow other people…! ” Eyes huge with anger.

Oohh…. tadi... are you sure lah… you told me the story already lah.. Cousins dah balik…. baru ingat mak bapak ye….

Happy Father’s Day, Babah !!

Ye ke Mummy ?

We were waiting for Dan at one of Cineleisure many entrances (or exits) last Friday after watching Kung Panda (Movie review : Toksah cakap banyak just pi tengok. The most amazing, witty and hilarious movie this year…. Cannot say ever because takut ada yesteryear movies yang lagi kelakar that slipped my mind ).

Elsa and Umar were sitting underneath this very weird looking thing when I decided .. hmm…. I’m bored. So I set out to create some mischief.

“Oiii… korang ! Be careful.. !! That is an alien space ship !!”

Both of my kids looked shocked and instinctively looked up at the thing whose raised platform (the thingy was placed on a raised platform… it doesn’t have any platforms at all. The thing actually looked like a metal baobab tree…. Maybe…) provided them with a place to rest.

In a second they moved their butts and stood next to me, looking at the thingy. Elsa in wonder but Umar doubtfully. Dah besar kan.

“That is not a space ship….” Said he very cautiously.

“Yes it is…” I insisted. “Can’t you see the little green men inside ?”

“Mana ada…..”

“Ada…. It is an alien space ship lah….”
Umar looked at me… He was smiling in disbelief, eyes crinkled, brows furrowed. Elsa was just staring at it.

“Mum !! Mana ada. That is Data Scan lah…” There was a label there, stuck on it’s round head.

“What is Data Scan, Um ? What does it do ?”

“I don’t know. But it says there Data Scan….”

“Okay lah… but what is Data Scan ?”

“Stop it Mum. You are embarrassing me …” Cess…Mana ada orang kat situ. We were there alone…. He he…

“Um… I think Data Scan is the brand of the spaceship. You know…like Proton and Mercedes are car brands, right ? Well Data Scan is the brand of this spaceship !!”

“Mumm……” Said Elsa laughing nervously.

“Iye….Tengok tu. What on earth would look funny like that ? I have never seen it before. It must be from outer space. Maybe Mars….”

Abahnya datang.

“Abah ! Mummy kata ini space ship, Bah !! Ada alien ….” Said Elsa. I like seeing Elsa holding out her hand for her Abah to hold every time she sees him.

“A-ah… Memanglah… Dah jom… Karang dia lift off karang….” And we trooped out of the complex. Me smilingly at Dan, Dan menggeleng kepala at me, Elsa content with holding her Abah’s hand and Umar who kept looking back at that Data Scan thingy.

He he…

Little girls and little boys

“Little girls are the best thing in the world kan ?” Said I to me little girl.

“Yes… Said my daughter happily.”

I stroked her hair, felt the smoothness of her cheeks and rubbed her bare back. She was happy being the best thing in the world.

Then suddenly, “Tapi kan.. what about little boys ?” She asked, cocking her head.

“Why ?” Asked I.

“U-um is also very, very good, Mum…” Said she, brows furrowed. She didn’t look at me, but more into space.

He he….

We have that conversation numerous times and she always is very adamant that I have to find little boys wonderful, too.

Yesterday I asked her brother. There were just the 2 of us watching telly and he had his head on my shoulder.

“This is soooo comfortable, Mum. Because I am resting on your shoulder…” Said he.

I pinched his very taut and ample cheeks (sebijik macam Kung Fu Panda).

“Little boys are the best thing in the world, kan Um ?”

“Yes !!” He said happily.

Then…” What about little girls, Mum ?”

“What about them ?”

“Little girls are special, too.”

“Which one ? Which one is special ?”

“Everyone of them is special, Mum !! Really…. Little girls are nice too…. “

He he…. He didn’t mention names but I am satisfied. My darling boy…..

Elsa and rambutnya

“ Mum masa I pegi sekolah baby dulu-dulu kan..( Eii ? Sekolah baby mana ? This is your first time going to school lah ) I farted in front of my teacher…” Said my little girl to me with a laugh.

“ Really ? What did you do after that ? ” Oh my…..

“ I farted and then I walked away, Mum….” Said she.

He he.. comelnya.

But when it comes to her hair, di situ ada kurang comel. For some reason, my daughter likes getting her hair cut. She also likes having it cut at the mamak shop. Whenever her father and brother sought the services of the barber, she would whine and whine for the same treatment.

This time though Babah is adamant that she gets her hair cut at a more feminine place. So yesterday I took her to a salon in Shah Alam Mall. She came out with a neat bob and short fringes. Babah hated it (“ I thought I told you to give her a layered cut ? ” Said Babah to Mummy and Mummy replied, “ Then next time you bawak le anak you pergi sendiri, okay ? ”) but she totally loves it, although it was the same haircut she got from the mamak fella.

On the way home, Babah rolled down the car screens because we bought some food ( Babah’s pet peeves is cars that smells of food… It was just corn in cup, people…). After about 2 minutes, I heard my daughter shouted, “ Bah.. what are you doing ? Close the window Bah. My hair is ruined !! ” Babah didn’t hear because of the noise outside. I turned to look at her and saw her clutching her hair, face very unhappy.

“ Dan, tutup tingkap. Rambut anak awak tu dah bersepah… Marah dia…” Dan quickly rolled up the window.

“Now look at what you have done !!” She wailed. “My hair dah tak cantik !!”

Hmm…….

The next morning when Babah was bathing them, I heard her screaming, “Not my hair !! Not my hair !!” at the same time I heard the sound of the water came out of the shower nozzle. Aduih …. Susah ni…

She stormed out of the bathroom with a murderous look and some of her hair wet. When she got to me, she sobbed, “My hair is ruined !! Babah buat !!” Babah stood at the doorway looking helpless and….. damp.

I took our purple hairbrush out, turned on the hair dryer and tried my darnest to style her hair with the fresh-out-of-the-hairdresser’s look.

“Haa…. Kan dah cantik…. See ? See ?” Said I, pushing her to the mirror.

“Cantik ke, Mummy ?” Her eyes glistened. She preened and preened at herself.
Waaaa……. !! Macamana nak handle ni ? Tak nak bagi perasan and tak nak bagi merendah diri…

How do I balance that ?

Why can't it be mine ?

Dan called me from home yesterday. The lucky sod is on holiday before joining his new employer next month.

“Tadi pegi makan kat Sari Ratu dengan mak and abah dengan budak-budak.”

“Kay..” I was mono-syllabic due to jealousy.

“Anak awak si Elsa ni rupa-rupanya suka makan pari. Seketul dia belasah…” Reported the father.

“Sekarang ni tengah belasah potato crisps yang awak sorok dalam almari…” Said he again.

“Laa….. ada hantu raya ke budak ni ?” Asked I.

Dan then passed the phone to Elsa.

“Mummy… tadi we went to buy… apa Bah ? What did we buy just now dengan atuk ? Aa…. Massage chair….” Said my little girl.

“Lepas tu I sit in it and then that chair tu angkat my bontot !!”

He he….

“What are you doing right now ?” Asked I.

“Makan crisps….”

“Elsa ambik kat dalam my almari ke ? That is mine you know….” Said I. Saja je nak cari gaduh.

She went quiet. Then she said, “Why is it yours, Mum ? Why cannot it be mine ?”

My turn to be quiet. I just hate saying “Because I said so…” for some reason so I remained quiet.

He he….