Unsuccessful Ploy

I read an article on a mother’s experience with a very inquisitive child. After I read it, I was relieved to know that I am not the only mother who felt like wringing her child’s neck for asking too many questions. I learned that feeling tired with the barrages of questions is actually quite normal. Phew… !!

Is there an article for my son that explains maybe he should write all his questions and politely divide it equally between his parents to answer ? Two days ago he asked me about clouds. As I was ( still am ) suffering from an inflamed tonsil, I just shrugged my shoulders because talking hurts. However ( I promise you this is true ) I did make a mental note to explain it all to him when I am better. However…

Umar : The clouds are made of water Mum, don’t you know ?

I gave him a look that says if you already know it, why did you ask me ? Then he proceeded to tell me authoritatively about the cycle of rain… Why ? Why did you ask me if you already know the answer ? Do you want me to confirm what you know ? Or do you want to check if your mother knows everything ?

Elsa loves eggs. Unlike Umar who abhors it, Elsa loves them. Morning, noon and night, that is her menu of choice. Since she developed this affair with eggs, Dan and I hadn’t had eggs with our nasi goreng, mee bandung or any dish that consists of eggs because she would take them away from our plates.

I have made a few attempts to curb her intake ( cholesterol, don’t you know ? ). The most recent one, I tried the vanity angle. Everytime she kisses me, I would say that she smells of eggs.

Mum : Eee…. Busuknya. Bau tulur….

Elsa : Ye ke ? Bau tulur ke ? Okay, Titi lap okay ?

She wiped her mouth with her baju. Then she tried again with more kisses.

Mum : Eeeuuww….. bau tulur lah… Disgusting Titi….

Elsa : Okay Mummy, Titi pegi basuh mulut okay….

Then she walked to the toilet and washed her mouth ( this will take quite sometime because washing her mouth is coupled with playing with the water… kill 2 birds with one stone as they say ).

Mum : ( after kissing her again ) Bau lah Ti…

Elsa : (sighed) Mummy kiss rambut Titi lah… my hair okay Mum ?

Mum : Urgghh…. Baunya…
I don’t know why she puts up with it. Probably she wants to be known as the best person to kiss ever.

Mum : Titi toksah makan telur lah……

Elsa : Toksah makan tulur ? Tak boleh ke Mum ? Makan ikan goreng saja ?

Mum : Haaa… okaylah. Ikan is good…

Elsa : What about roti canai ?

Mum : That is good choice too… no smell what-so-ever….

I beamed, thinking my ploy had work.

Elsa : I know, I know… Ice cream kan Mum smell so nice…. Titi makan ice cream lah…

Mum : ?????

Elsa : Yes… Titi makan ice-cream… Babah.. pegi ambik ice cream for me…. Mummy bagi..

Mum : Cess….. back fired…

Holiday in KL

Our family spent the night in KL on Saturday. The reason is because my mom and her besan ( Shera’s mom ) went to Ahmad Jais’s concert ( I know…. I know…. ). The concert we predicted would finish late and therefore we decided to wait for her in KL with bedrooms within easy reach. Alasan je…. We took the opportunity to spend time with each other.. and tengok wayang.

Movie of choice ? Mr Bean… He he… I had wanted to watch Chermin, in my bid to support the local industries, but I sensed my family agreed just to humour me… ( never mind, I have Amelia, my cerita hantu buddy to go watch it ) but at the 11th hour changed to Mr Bean…

The first thing I thought when I saw the evergreen En Kacang is how he is not exactly … well immortal. He looked old. And how he uncannily looked like his cartoon character. The cartoonist really captured the essence of Mr Bean.

It was hilarious, some time in a slapstick kind of way, the audience was laughing all the time. The movie we caught was at 9.40 pm and it was full to the brim. Elsa watched it with a permanent smile on her face. She laughed and enjoyed herself until about halfway when the day’s activity was getting to her.

Umar… well…. He was laughing and all but at one point, I could see him cringe. Then I saw him closed his eyes. Then he asked to go home. “ Why ? Aren’t you enjoying yourself ? “ He gave out an embarrassed laugh and said “ Mr Bean is so silly Mum. He keeps making all this mistakes…. I cannot stand it anymore….. “ He he…. Umar dah segan tengok lawak bodoh Mr Bean… Dah tak sanggup nak tengok lagi……. Hai…

Anyway, the next day we brought him to PetroSains. You have no idea how much he bugged us to take him there. So since he good really good marks for his exams, we told him it is his present for scoring 100% in Science, Maths and English.

Let me tell you this, PetroSains is a whole lot of fun and very educational. There were gadgets and experiments to try. There were puzzles to solve and simulations to attempt. It was worth the RM 35 to get the 4 of us in. It was well planned and beautifully done. Dan and I wondered how could they squeeze everything in KLCC. And I have to say this, we had been to Red Earth in Edinburgh, Scotland and it could not rival our PetroSains. On our ride back to Level 4, I actually got quite sentimental because I was so proud. It was well managed.

Umar and Elsa’s birthday party this year will definitely be held there.

Merajuk Tak Bertempat

We were in the car yesterday and Elsa was listening to a song by Rossa. That song somehow really touched my little girl’s heart. While singing this song, she will caress and kiss our faces with utmost tenderness.

“ Sekalang kau pergi nan jauh…. “ * Usap * * Usap *

“ Sekalang kau tinggalkan aku….” * Kiss * * Kiss *

Coincidently, while she was stroking my face, Umar mentioned that his Bahasa Arab paper in Sekolah Agama is 35/50. I was shocked and my arms flailed upwards on its own accord and accidentally knocked my daughter’s hand. Big mistake. In a split second I grabbed her hand and offered my apologies. Too late. She was already heartbroken.

Her head hung, she repeated, “ Mummy tak sayang Titi…. “

She walked with her Babah and refused to talk to me. Somehow between ordering our food ( we were at ITM Café for my nasi ayam fix ) and waiting for its arrival, Babah managed to upset her further. Instantly she was best friends with Mummy again.

She positioned her body sideways and her head completely turned to her right ( Babah was on her left ) she claimed that Babah tak sayang Titi. When I said he does and even forced Babah to admit it, she said, “ Tak……… Babah tak sayang Titi, “ and shook her head. She then looked at her father and said, “ I don’t think you should sit here Bah… “ rather forlornly.

Dan and I looked at each other, eyes wide, trying very hard not to laugh. My mother had taught me to never laugh at children’s impertinence. They are funny but by laughing, I am encouraging them, she warned. Being the eldest girl of 8, for as long as I could remember, I had always had a baby brother/sister hanging on my waist. Ada aje adik I gelek kat pinggang. I would be talking and teasing and laughing delightedly if they were ever imprudent with their manners. Mummy advised that I will be teaching them that lack of respect and insolence is okay. They would grow up oblivious to their mistakes.

Therefore, I swallowed my smile and told her sternly that she was being rude. The problem is always the ever-present guardian brother. I noticed Umar had stopped drinking and was looking at us. Then, food arrived. Elsa accepted food from her Babah but kept her face turned the other way. The only time she spoke to him was to ask Babah not to look at her.

On the way back to the car, Titi and Umar walked hand in hand. He protectively allowed her to climb in the car first. When Rossa’s song was played again, all was forgotten. She was all smiles and lovey dovey again… Sigh……

Umar bau ikan goreng

Umar had his exams 2 weeks ago. His daily report was not always encouraging especially his Arabic paper. I came home to his “ I didn’t do the last page, Mum,”. When I asked him why he said he didn’t have enough time and the paper was hard.
Of course I asked why he did not concentrate in class, he looked at me and opened his mouth, “ Mum, do you speak Arab ? “ I knew where the conversation is going already but I bravely said no. “ That’s right. I told my teacher my Abah does not speak Arab, my Mummy does not speak Arab and therefore I also do not know how to speak Arab!! “

Benda – benda macam nilah yang memalukan mak bapak……

Elsa…. Hm lagi sorang…. 3 nights ago she refused to let Umar sleep next to her. She kept asking Umar to go elsewhere dengan alasan Umar busuk bau ikan goreng… Yang abang tu tercengang – cengang lah but it worked well for him at the end because Abah and Mummy had no other way but to let him sleep with them.

The next night, I sternly told Titi that Umar did not consume any fried fish that day…. “ Yes but Umar bau mee Mum …. “.

On Saturday we had dinner with my mom and 2 siblings ( Mail and Marlin ). After dinner we walked them to their car and Umar leaned in Tok’s car for more hugs and kisses from Tok Mi. Elsa was at the other side of the car and from there she thought Umar was going with Tok. She made an awful ruckus, ordering Umar to follow her home. Abah’s explanation of the real situation fell on deaf ears and she only quieted down when Umar stomped his way to her.

In the car, I asked Titi why was she was upset. She said because Umar was leaving with Tok.

Mummy : Kenapa Umar tak boleh ikut Tok ke ?

Titi : Mummy, Titi sayang Umar… ha…..

Umar : Kalau Titi sayang Umar, kenapa Titi pok Umar tadi ?

Titi : Titi sayang Umar okay Um……

Umar : Yelah, tapi why did you hit me just now ?

Titi : ( sighed ) Sebab Um naughty… Titi sayang Umar okay…. Sorry Um….

Mummy and Abah looked at each other with a smile on our faces…

Abah : Pandai anak awak main politik ye ……

Mummy : Eii… anak awaklah

U-um and Titi

My children…

Last night we went to book Dan’s new car. We decided not to get the car that will only be delivered to us in August and purchase one that we will actually get next month. We took our little ‘uns with us to show them the car.

Umar and Elsa were excited. Dan opened the passenger door of the showroom car and invited them to enter. Elsa went in after Umar and soon as she stood in the middle of the back seat, she exclaimed “ Much better…. “ and nodded her head in satisfaction. “ This is better than Abah’s old car ? “ I asked and she said, “ Of course Mummy….. “. Hmm….

Dan who is always very concerned about what his children think of him asked for Umar’s approval. “ Am I loser now ? “ and Umar replied “ No Bah… you are great now… “ Kesian Abah. I told Umar that I have always found his Abah a great person. And this little boy of mine said, “ Sure mom… he’s your boyfriend, “ like it is so yucky to have a boyfriend.

After booking the car, we went straight for dinner. We were driving in silence when suddenly Umar gave a loud piercing scream. Titi for some reason had bitten him. I quickly tried to ease the pain while Dan interrogated the would-be piranha. All questions were met by stony silence.

I then tried to approach her. “ Sapa gigit Umar ? “

Titi : Tak de sapa – sapa

That response is very common from her.

Mummy : Titi…. Umar is crying… sapa gigit dia ?

Titi : Umar tak nanis pun…

Budak ni ingat kita orang pekak ke ? How can she try to camouflage the situation ?

Mummy : Titi… do not lie to me. If you decide to lie I will leave you here…..

At that time we were in Glenmarie. You know how Glenmarie is at night……. But the one who panicked was the victim. The accused remained defiant.

Umar : Titi, please tell Mummy you bite Umar. Nanti Mummy will leave you here…

Titi : No… I don’t know anything….

Eee…. Kerasnya…..

Umar : Come on Ti, just tell her you gigit and everything will be okay……
Mummy : Well Titi ? Sapa gigit Umar ?

Titi : Titi mummy…. I gigit Umar….

Terus gelak – gelak……. Umar was happy too and laughed.

Mummy : Why did you gigit Umar ?

Titi : I don’t know.

Umar : Dia boring – boring gigit Umar … he he… she is so cute…

Pulak… baru tadi melalak sekarang dah cute ? Then they started to wrestle each other and were soon best friends again….

Mummy : Err…. Nak sambung marah ke Dan ?

Dan : Dah lah…. Nanti you slow talk dengan dia…

Aku jugak…..

Art Studio

More drama today for me. Last night Umar asked for my permission to bring his Art Studio ( alah…. Colouring set yang ada colours of different forms, pencil, magic, water , crayon and yang lagi satu macam crayon tu ). I was a bit skeptical about him being able to fit in his bag but he said it would be of no problem. “ I will move it this way and that way Mum, “. I did not give a reply.

This morning he handed me the now 30 colour pencils. When I asked why he said he is going to bring his Art Studio to school, remember ? I told him that I do not think it is a good idea as the Studio is still in tact and I am sure once he takes it to school, one or even two would be missing.

Besides, Babah added, what will Titi use to write and draw ? She usually lugs it around the house, just in case she has a sudden inspiration for yet another masterpiece. Our statements of course provoked another glassy eyes moment. He understandably became less cheerful. He ate breakfast in silence and just shrugged his shoulders when I asked him what does he want for his bekal.

When I held his hand and took him to the school compound, I saw him tried to open his mouth a few times, but changed his mind. As we were about to pass the gate, he finally had the courage to talk or had finally constructed his thoughts and words correctly. He asked if the Studio belongs to Titi only. I denied it and told him it belongs to both of them. It is meant to be used at home and not in school.

At that, the liquid that made his eyes glassy became a river on his cheeks. Aiyooo… Umar. “ Are you not embarrassed that all your friends can see you cry ? “ It got louder. I tried to soothe him as best as I could but he was just really sad. My heart really went out to him but there is nothing that I can do. We are already in school. When the waterworks finally receded, he took my tudung ( he was hugging me anyway, so my tudung was the nearest to him ) and wiped his tears. He even used the ones near my shoulder area that I had to bent down to allow easy access.

“ Dah Mum…, “ he said. He kissed my hand and offered his face for the customary kiss. He gave me a quivery smile. My son… he is always very brave, always trying to show that he is okay after a fight or tears or whatever.

In the car, I rubbed the tear stained tudung to my face and feel wretched. Even now, I am still savouring the bit where my son was woefully pouring his feelings out.