I waved goodbye to my children this morning. I saw Elsa trying her hard to look at me from the car’s window as Babah backed down the driveway, her tudung almost covering her eyes. Somehow that scene reminded me of a conversation I had with her a day before her birthday.
“Mummy….” Said my daughter. It was early morning and as I passed her bed, she stirred so I lay down beside her and gathered her in my arms.
“Hmmm…” My eyes were still closed and I was sure hers were too.
“I can’t wait for my birthday, Mummy….”
“It’s tomorrow, little girl…”
“ When it’s my birthday… kan, when I wake up people will be around me and say ‘Surprise !!’ Then I will say, ‘Thank you for coming to my party…’…” She clasped her hands together, brought it to her chest, eyes fluttered. Berangan sungguh. Sapa lah yang nak datang birthday party pukul 6.30 pagi. I do not want to wake up at 4 am to prepare, either.
“Pastu kan…. I will get a PSP for my present…..”
I sighed.
“You are not getting a PSP, Elsa…”
“Why not ? Aida ada. Dekat kedai ada PSP.”
“Mummy tak de duit lah sayang….”
“Why don’t we ask Aida ? Aida ada satu. I can ask Aida where she got the money, okay ?”
“Aida punya Mummy dia lah belikan. Mummy dia banyak duit, Mummy Elsa tak de duit….”
She went quiet. “What about my duit raya ? You can use my duit raya …”
He he… “Your duit raya dah jadi Sijil Simpanan Premium lah, little girl. Itu untuk Titi nak pergi sekolah nanti, okay ? School is very important, PSP is not. In fact because of PSP you might not be able to go to school. Okay ?”
I can see the disappointment in her face. Kalau ikutkan hati memang aku pegi beli, tapi fikir kan masa depan untuk dia and abang dia, tak payah lah. Game Boy ada, PS2 pun ada. Jadi lah….
Dear Elsa, actually I am very selfish if Mummy ikutkan tak sampai hati Mummy ni. I want to give you everything but then if I do that I would not be thinking how all those will spoil you in the long run.
I want you to be one of the best people in the world and accepting our limitations is one of the traits. Setting your priorities right is another important one too. I do not know what the future would be like but I hope that at least I am in the right path to guide you.
Trust me. Forgive me.
“Mummy….” Said my daughter. It was early morning and as I passed her bed, she stirred so I lay down beside her and gathered her in my arms.
“Hmmm…” My eyes were still closed and I was sure hers were too.
“I can’t wait for my birthday, Mummy….”
“It’s tomorrow, little girl…”
“ When it’s my birthday… kan, when I wake up people will be around me and say ‘Surprise !!’ Then I will say, ‘Thank you for coming to my party…’…” She clasped her hands together, brought it to her chest, eyes fluttered. Berangan sungguh. Sapa lah yang nak datang birthday party pukul 6.30 pagi. I do not want to wake up at 4 am to prepare, either.
“Pastu kan…. I will get a PSP for my present…..”
I sighed.
“You are not getting a PSP, Elsa…”
“Why not ? Aida ada. Dekat kedai ada PSP.”
“Mummy tak de duit lah sayang….”
“Why don’t we ask Aida ? Aida ada satu. I can ask Aida where she got the money, okay ?”
“Aida punya Mummy dia lah belikan. Mummy dia banyak duit, Mummy Elsa tak de duit….”
She went quiet. “What about my duit raya ? You can use my duit raya …”
He he… “Your duit raya dah jadi Sijil Simpanan Premium lah, little girl. Itu untuk Titi nak pergi sekolah nanti, okay ? School is very important, PSP is not. In fact because of PSP you might not be able to go to school. Okay ?”
I can see the disappointment in her face. Kalau ikutkan hati memang aku pegi beli, tapi fikir kan masa depan untuk dia and abang dia, tak payah lah. Game Boy ada, PS2 pun ada. Jadi lah….
Dear Elsa, actually I am very selfish if Mummy ikutkan tak sampai hati Mummy ni. I want to give you everything but then if I do that I would not be thinking how all those will spoil you in the long run.
I want you to be one of the best people in the world and accepting our limitations is one of the traits. Setting your priorities right is another important one too. I do not know what the future would be like but I hope that at least I am in the right path to guide you.
Trust me. Forgive me.
