Cause you have a bad day...

We have a birthday buka puasa do to attend tomorrow so off we trooped to Subang Parade for a present. We were in MPH and I was as usual bending to choose my books. The kids had made their selections and was just waiting for me to make up my mind.

Time and time again I heard Babah asking Umar to look for his sister. After like the 5th time, Umar finally saw red and between the aisles I heard him berating her.

“Why do u like to wander off ? Do you want to be lost ? You like wandering off without telling me.”

“What ? I am here …..” Said the sister.

I peered from behind the aisle and saw my son pushing his sister to where Babah is, mumbling all the way.

He he…

When we finally leave the shop, Elsa kept yapping that she wants to be a Science teacher. Abang apparently is still very much angry at his sister sniped, “You cannot be a teacher because you are nitwit.” Eyes screwed angrily.

Mummy remained quiet. Don’t know why.

Stopped at Cold Storage for pancakes ingredients and the kids were happily running among the products. Elsa approached me, waving her Babah’s hanky. “Mummy, can you tie this hanky here ?” she asked, wrapping the hanky to her throat. “I want to be a cowboy…”

I was about to get the hanky when Umar came from behind. “No, Mummy ! Don’t. She wants you to tie it around her neck. She can choke herself to death okay if you do that ? Do you want to be dead, Elsa ?” He asked angrily.

“Do you want to ceased being in this world ?”

Err….. I think he is having a bad day….

My poor baby…

PS : We were in the car that day and the song You Had A Bad Day was played on the radio. Elsa excitedly said to her brother, "Um ! It's your song, Um. That funny song (laughed) you have a bad day...Kan, Um ? Because you always have a bad day...."

Err... really ? I didn't know that as you are always happy and chatty to me. What is up, little boy ?

Umar and Elsa’s Terawikh

Yesterday Mummy finally got to Terwaikh berjemaah. Yippee…. It was nice and calming and it was made more special by the presence of her children. Umar of course went with Babah so Mummy had Elsa all to herself.

Luckily Elsa goes to a pre-tahfiz school so she is very comfortable in the surrounding. She was very quiet but her AMIN was loudly heard each and every time.

Terkejut beruk Mummy bila first time dengar.

She was okay until about the third and fourth rakaat.

“How many more, Mummy ?”

“Err… 2 more rakaat…”

“Just 2 ? The last 2 ?”

‘Err… no… 2 more rakaat of the…..” nasib baik orang dah start bagun so I don’t have to answer.

After that, “2 more ?” She asked.

“Yes…..”

“Okay…..” She said with resignation.

But she soldiered on, good girl.

She was so happy to be out of the surau and seeing her brother. They hugged macam dah lama tak jumpa. Drama queens….

Then off to Tesco. Mummy wanted to make bingka before buka but Babah couldn’t find any santan. Mummy ajak pi Giant because I know Giant ada santan, but Babah said, “Giant tu jauh ke dalam… I pakai kain ni….”

Don’t know what has that got to do with anything but bulan posa kan, and Mummy has to be extra mithali….. so ikut ajelah.

True to her words, there were no santan in Tesco.

And Babah yang selalu tanya, “Macamana dia boleh pakai kain pelikat pegi supermarket… Tak takut terlucut ke ?” everytime he sees a guy in one, well… did what he deemed as unthinkable. Because I have been hearing him saying kain pelikat, supermarket and terlucut in one sentence many, many times, got a bit spooked.

“You pakai underpants dak ?”

“Tak….” He said. Berderau darah Mummy.

Especially when Umar jumped around Babah, and was hanging himself on Babah, Mummy got more worried. Until finally when Umar was tugging his Babah’s kain Mummy got bloody seriau, okay ?

“Umar ! Stop it ! Nanti jatuh kain Babah ! Babah tak pakai underpants !!” Ada lah dua, tiga orang yang pandang.

Errr…..

Dan looked at me with a twinkle in his eyes. “I pakailah….”

Well, too late Babah. Words had spread like wild fire.

Elsa Rashdan

Elsa loves to help me cook. Actually Umar likes it too as everyday he would ask if he could do something to help. He is actually quite rajin with his cookies making as he would make sure his entire cookie cutting is nice and perfect and would actually finish off the whole batter.

But Elsa totally loves cooking. She loves watching cookery shows, especially Nigella, like father like daughter… (one day while quietly watching Nigella in action, she suddenly exclaimed, “Ummm…. Sedapnya ….” I looked and Ms Lawson was at her best, eating…. And I have to admit she makes everything looks super duper delicious….) and would always stand next to me, on a stool for better height, when I cook, offering her help and wanting to dig in. Blending is her job now. I cut the ingredients and she will put everything in the blender, put the lid on nicely and starts the process. And yes, even the chillies. Selagi tak kena, she will never learn. Cakap saja no point because dia tak percaya… But so far belum lagi panaih tangan pegang cili… he he…

So yesterday, again she was restricting my movements by standing so perilously close to me. Perilous because she was standing on a stool. Anyway, I was about to clean the squids when she again asked for the umpteenth time that day, “Can I help you with that ?”

Okaylah…..

I showed her the ways and the hows and soon she was on her merry way. I took the first squid that she cleaned and said, “I just have to check to make sure all the nasty bits are out, okay ?” and found that it was to my satisfaction. I praised her. “Pandailah Elsa ni… the squid is nice and clean……”

She beamed at me while her hands busy with more squids, “Mummy, girls kan kena pandai masak… Girls have to cook… they must be clever ….”

“Oh ? Who told you that ?” Asked me expecting my name to be mentioned.

“Oh… no one… I just figured it out all by myself….”

He he…. You are so cute !

Then come the cutting bits. I allowed her to cut some onions earlier, under strict supervisions of course. As she cut her first one, the very rubbery squid squeked. She looked at me with this look that I can only describe as full comprehension and said, “Now I know why his name is squid… because he squeaks ! Kan Mummy ?”

Err…. Okaylah….. Ha ha

She asked for the name of all the ingredients. Onions, garlic and chillies she is already well acquainted with. She had forgotten ginger though, and tomatoes. "Potatoes ni Mummy masak dengan Squidwork ?"

That is not potatoes lah, tomatoes.... I told her. You know what she did ? She rolled her eyes and went, "Potatoes, tomatoes....." He he... penggunaan salah.

I told her, "You don't use it like that lah, Titi... You use it To-may-toes, to-Mah-toes or po-tay-toes, po-tah-toes..... Same word tapi different pronunciation... That...," I pointed to the tomatoes, "will remain tomatoes as it will never be potatoes, which is a totally different thing...."

She blinked at me a few times. Yeah, it was a bit too hard for her to understand, I know....

PS : My sotong kunyit turned out black instead of yellow… Who missed the ink sac ni ? Mummy ke Elsa ?

Ewau bule...

Last two weeks my homecoming was greeted excitedly by my son.

“Mummy ! Hari ni kan cikgu kan ajar kelas saya nyanyi lagu best !!” His face was so happy, so excited, I wondered lagu apa yang syok sangat ni ?

“Really ? Lagu apa ?” I asked as I hugged his very comforting bulk. You know that he can wear my shoes now ? My baby boy…..

“Ewau bule. It is an old Malay song, Mummy ! Iye, cikgu saya cakap. You want me to sing for you ?”

Errr….. after his We Are The World I wasn’t too keen on his singing, but a good mother I am, so I gave my assent. I settled on the sofa and braced myself. To give him some credit, his singing is better now, not that nasal but it was still an excruciating experience for me because,

a) His face was damn serious. Why ?
b) He swayed from side to side while singing, hands following the swing of his body. A bit like dikir barat only that he was standing on his two feet.

All the while I kept thinking where should I look ? Should I look him right in the eyes as his’ were trained or more appropriately bored on my face. It is only polite that I meet his eyes, yeah ? But I just couldn’t keep a straight face as it was too comical; the singing and the body and hand swaying in perfect accord.

Eyes could reveal your true feelings so I was debating whether to just widen it or crinkle it as all my eyes wanted to do was close. I think if he smiled, I wouldn’t be in this dilemma. Plus the song was too damned long. He kept repeating the same stanza over and over again. I didn’t have the heart to interrupt him so I endured.

After like, gosh…. I dunno…. 3 hours ? The song was over and I clapped and shouted bravo (not ENCORE though. I wouldn’t dare just in case he knows what it means). And he beamed and he smiled and he grinned, my happy little performer. Aaah….. so my patience and internal conflicts were duly rewarded.

That done, I started dinner when Babah came home. Umar jumped on him and started his intro and then before I knew it, he started his little show again. Babah was still standing, hand midway from loosening his tie.

Neti was beside me and we looked at eachother, raised our eyebrows and giggled. I looked at my husband again and his very schooled face. Well, not really lah as his mouth was gaping a bit.

“Tadi pun macam itu, kak…” Said Neti.

“Habis sekolah mahu mandi dia udah nyanyi…” And dengan itu, bibik ku pun start “Ewau bule..... ewau bule….” Imitating my son, complete with the hand and body affect.

Oh God… Don’t tell me she meant to do the whole thing too ? Luckily (and I mean this with a huge sigh of relief) she stopped and giggled.

Babah’s hands were on his waist now and I know if Umar doesn’t stop, Babah is definitely going to say something.

“Weii…. Berapa kali ko nak ulang ni ?” He demanded. Umar stopped, laughed and hugged his Babah. “Macam tu lah, Babah. Lagu tu… yang Cikgu saya ajar tu….”

He he…..

Please teacher don’t teach him any Ulik Mayang or Boria songs… Please I beg you !!

Umar's dancing

Mummy and Babah locked the room door when we got home yesterday. Nak mandi…. Also, this is usually the time where we catch up on the day’s event. Especially our workplace grouses, something that we couldn’t wait to vent out.

If we don’t lock the door, the kids would come barging in and disturb our letting out the frustration session.

As we talked, I heard the flurry of footsteps and sighed and rolled my eyes. Dan seeing my reaction knew what was to come.

Sure enough, doorknob was rattled, an exasperated sound heard (it was from the little girl), an impatient “Eeeee…” was made and then the inevitable loud knocks on the door.

“What ?” Yelled Babah. Orang tengah syok bercerita ni.

“Open the door !” The little girl demanded.

“Is it locked, Ti ?” I heard the brother asked.

“What do you want ?” Asked Babah again.

“We want to tell you about our day !”

He he… Funny lah, you.

I looked at Babah and nodded my head. It was true, we haven’t asked the children about their day yet.

Titi came in, telling us stories about her school trip to PetroSains. “Mana video cam, Dan ?” Asked I, wanting to record her amimation and infectious enthusiasm.

Umar showed us a dance he saw performed at school. It was excruciating as without music he looked like he was doing tai-chi. His serious face made the dancing looked even more ridiculous. “Where is the video cam ?” I asked him again.

“I don’t know where to look, Dan …” I whispered after like 5 minutes of more tai-chi/dancing.

Dan flared his nostrils, showing he was hard at work from trying not to laugh, or groan. He took a pillow and hid his smile behind it.

Ha ha…..

How to answer this ?

Dan and I were busy helping our kids with their toilette last weekend. They had a birthday party to go to so extra efforts were made.

Dan was on the bed, combing his daughter’s hair when I heard Dan said, “Yes you are. But there will always be somebody prettier than you….” He said kindly.

“What did she ask you Dan ?” I enquired when she left the room.

“Biasalah. Am I pretty, Bah ?”

He he….

I went down to iron my tudung. I saw her sitting watching the telly and went to give her a cuddle and dispense all the advice on good manners and etiquettes that I could think of.

She nodded her head, said “Okay, Mummy” at all the right places. When I finished she straight away asked, “Who is prettier than me ?”

Mummy took a big gulp of air. She really, really likes to shock me, this one. Takde salam, takde warning, takde pembuka kata... straight to the point and takde kena-mengena (Ian... read slowly) dengan topik yang sedang dibincangkan.

Mummy pondered a bit and went, “Well….” without any inkling of what the next word should be. Luckily she was saved by Umar who requested for her help. At that point she thanked Allah SWT for Umar's tubbiness and hence rendered him a bit hopeless to button up his trousers.

Phewww !!

What are you talking about ni ?

This is Elsa with her favorite toy.

About two months ago I heard her turning her room (and mine) upside down looking for C****.

Last month I realised that I haven't seen C**** for quite a while so I asked her of C*****'s whereabout.

Without batting an eyelid she replied, "Oh... dia dah tua.... so she is dead...."

Trying to keep my laughter in on her selamba badakness, I asked "So kat mana dia ?"

"Dah tanam lah !" She said and promptly left my side.

Keh keh....

When C***** made a re-appearance I voiced my shock as how could a dead being is alive again ?

"Macam nyang lah. Kan nyang dah mati pastu hidup balik.."

Ha ? My heart promptly fell to my feet. What are you talking about lah ? Nyang is dead.

"No...!" She shook her head. "Hari tu dah tanam kan ? Pastu kan hari tu Nyang pegi rumah Tok Mi ?"

Hei... apa budak ni. You really made me dizzy just now.

"Itu nyang lain lah. Yang hari tu yang dah meninggal tu is Abah punya grand mother. Yang pegi rumah Tok Mi tu is my grand mother. 2 different people lah .... "

She screwed her face questioningly (I love it when she does this... Don't know why...) then said, "But she looks the same. Same ! Muka dia sama lah.... !"

"No she doesn't...." I can't help but frown myself. She looked at me sceptically, up and down, up and down.

"Trust me.." I insisted. "Once you die, you remain dead. If you bangun you are either a zombie or a hantu...."

Her eyebrows went up. Muka macam tak percaya aje.

Teruk lah dia ni.... You don't believe your own MOTHER ?

Well... can't blame her. With the amount of autas I have spinned... well.... He he..

Battle of egos....

Okay so this happened like I don’t know when but sometimes when I look at my children talking I will remember this conversation (if you can call it that lah) that transpired while we were having dinner.

I think I made meat loaf, which is a collective favourite in my household, and Elsa requested for a second helping. Banyak-banyak, she said.

“Ti, I am just going to put a little on your plate first, okay sebab nanti kalau tak habis, sayang….” Said Mummy. Well it is true. Babah would always wait after his first helping to see if his children clear off their plate. If they do, he would take his second helping and if they don’t he would finish off theirs first. Waste not, yeah ?

Anyway, my little girl of course protested and for sure Abang masuk campur.

“Ti, you never finished anything in your life ! So jangan bising-bising !”

Elsa didn’t like it one bit. Her face hardened, her eyes very steely looking at her brother.

After a moment of silence, she said, “Oh really ? You want a race, Um ?” Head up, geared for a battle. Mummy invisible to her already.

“Because I CAN finish a race…!”

Fulamak. Terkedu jap Mummy kat situ. Her eyes travelled to her son to see his reaction. Abang didn’t rise to take the bait. In fact he was busy with his food. He did say something though. His eyes still on his food he said, “Huh… I am bigger. I will win….” in a bored tone.

Uuuhhhh…….

Elsa ?

She screwed her eyes at her brother before resuming her eating, reluctantly.

Pheeewwww…..

Elsa, who else ?

I remember sitting in the car on the way to Gerik with my daughter wriggling about. Time and time again I reprimanded her, asking her to be still but to no avail.

I think she got a bit fed up with me, saying the same thing over and over again because she finally snapped and said, “I am trying to be still, but I am not dead !” hotly.

To laugh or to cry or to get angry ? Mummy could only manage, “That is rude…” as she was busy trying not to laugh.

I also remember last Saturday the kids were playing with their board games while Mummy and Babah watched Quantum of Solace upstairs. They finished playing so Babah said please return the games to the library, at its rightful place. There were 2 games so Umar asked Elsa to help him carry the games downstairs.

Elsa protested, saying, ‘But you have 2 hands, Um. Two games and two hands !”

Umar said, “Ti, just help me. Youy have such a lazy butt !”

And Elsa replied, “Exactly Um. This lazy butt wants to sit…”

He he….

But she got up anyway because she knew that not helping equals unhappy parents.

You are one funny little girl...