What now….
“Shaya nak balik…” She sobbed. “Shaya nak mandi kat rumah Tok….”
“La… rumah Mummy takde air ke, Ana ?” Asked I as I held out my hand to take her in my arms. She hesitated a bit before coming to me in full force. “What is wrong, baby girl ?” I asked, my lips on her very thick hair.
“Dia pecahkan gambar kak…” Explained Neti. “Dia takut itu… takut dimarahi...” Ooo…..
“Saya udah bilang Mummy tak marah tapi takut kali dia… Dia mahu pulang….”
Alahai siannya anak Mummy ni. You still don’t get it ke Ana ?
“Ana… Mummy sayang Ana… Mummy saaaaayang Ana, okay ? Ana buat apa pun Mummy sayang Ana… Ana pecahkan kete pun Mummy sayang Ana…”
Her sobs subsided somehow. I kissed her very wet and salty cheeks, feeling like a failure. “Ana Mummy punya jugak kan… So I will never send you away… Okay ? Kalau Mummy marah pun Mummy sayang… Tahu tak ?” She stopped her sobbing and heaving but tears still streamed out of the huge, mournful eyes. Allah, please make her understand.
“Gambar mana yang pecah ?” I asked as I stepped inside the house. She started heaving again. “Never mind, Ana… Just let’s see it…” It was the picture frame of 5 generations of females of my family. My nyang, my grandma, my mom, myself and Elsa. The picture was alright, the frame was broken but there was nothing to roll in the ground with grief for.
“Okay… Ana jangan buat lagi okay ? Nak main, main baik-baik… Jangan sampai jadi lagi… Okay ?” She nodded. I hugged her tight. “Ana nak mandi ?”
“Tak nak… Shaya nak mandi rumah Tok…” Hmmm…. okaylah. I know she still feels insecure.
I took her to the kitchen and switch on the telly. “Ana lapar tak ? Mummy lapar lah…” Said I as I rummaged the larder. Found some rempeyek which was nice. She took one and I took 2. She smiled enquiringly at the other rempeyek in my hand. I offered it to her and she snatched it merrily. Then I remembered the cupcakes I made 2 nights ago so I gave her one. She took a bite and smiled in delight. “Mummy… shaya shuka ini.. Shedap lah Mummy mashak…” I beamed at her. “Iye… shaya shuka bila Mummy mashak….” I took out the chocolate cream frosting and piped some on her cake.
Her eyes widened. “Mum –mee ! Shedapnya !!” She said, legs paddling happily. I hugged her. “Ana sayang Mummy tak ?”
Budak busyuk tak nak mandi....
She nodded happily, leaning against me, fitting herself on the crooks and cranny of my body.
Please remember that, okay ?
Esya is different from Ana. No matter how angry I got, she will always come running back because she knows I love her. Tapi dengan Ana ni susah sikit… Kalau merajuk… I might lose her forever and that is something that I am not willing to face. Not ever.
6 comments:
pandai nya mummy pujuk dia....kalau akak la jadik anak mummy,gerenti terpeliot kan paha mummy....
Errr, mummy...kite nak cupcake jugak..taruk coklat manyak manyak..boleh yer mummy....
He he... kak Ezza ni...
Boleh kak... No problem... Btw.. Eja nak datang rumah akhir bulan ni... Jomlah ikut sekali kak... nak tak ?
nanti dulu..kena tgk kelender akak ni...nama saja duduk rumah tapi kemain sibuk memanjang..hahaha..
hujung bulan tu bila ya,..hang bagi tau bila sebab sekarng ni musim orang 'mengawan'hahahaha
Okay kak nanti bila dah confirm betul2 saya sms akak... Thanks !
Myra,
Ana has grown up so well kan...when i look at her pic, teringat sungguh kat arwah...
Liza... yes... muka dia memang sebijik.... And she is lovely... sebijik macam arwah.... I keep thinking about her these past few weeks... Rindu sangat sebab dah lama benar tak jumpa... Sakit rupanya rindu ni...
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