My eldest brother approached me last week with the best opening statement ever, “Umar tak reti basuh o-ok sendiri ye ?” Udah…. My heart sank and sank deeper.
“Memang lah tak reti !!” I replied, rather shrilly I might add. Due to fear I think as my head was already mentally ticking where I need to mop with extra vigor with superfluous amount of soap. “Ijat ngan Mail sampai darjah 3 aku masih basuh pungkok dia orang !!”. I jat and Mail… take note, do not be rude to me. You owe the state of your bums to me and Ita.
“Habis kalau tak de orang kat rumah, siapa yang basuh ?” He asked again. “He is never in a situation where there are no adults to wash him, Pek….” I answered. “Kenapa ni ?” I asked, getting hysterical.
He shook his head, his face grim. Abang aku memang suka buat macam tu. Cakap tak nak habis, buat orang panic. “Pernah tak Titi yang basuh dia ?” I am sure my eyes grew round and round and round at that.
“HA ????” Was all I could muster. The idea was too monstrous, too preposterous my mind couldn’t even conjure up the image.
I collected my kids without much delay. As soon as I locked the car door, I pounced on them.
“Who washed your bum today, Um ?” I asked.
“Bibik lah…” He answered lazily.
“Pernah tak Titi basuh o-ok U-um ?” With that he sat up straight. Elsa who was sitting at the back moved to the center of the car. I stole a look at Umar and his face was….. well… I don’t know how to describe it but I just don’t like how he looked at Elsa.
“Tak ! Mana ada !”
“Betul ke ni, Um ? Titi ?” I pressed.
“Betul lah. Mana ada Titi basuh o-ok Umar !!” Answered Titi.
“Tapi Mamu Pek cakap …” Said I and both of them snorted. My mom reported that day both of them bergaduh satu hari dengan Mamu Peknya. Abang aku kuat mengusik… dia memang suka buat orang nangis. Dia memang rajin main dengan anak-anak and games with him will be full of laughter but usually it will end up with somebody (or everybody) in tears.
“Mamu Pek naughty hari ni !!” Said my son with some anger. “Dia main baling-baling rambutan… kena kat muka !!” Umar memang geli dengan rambutan. When I brought Umar and Dan to my first overseas assignment in Bangkok, we stayed at a luxurious hotel along Sukhumvit Road. Umar was forever attacking the room phone (he was 2) and therefore to stop him, we positioned a few complimentary rambutans on the phone.
“A-ah kan Um !!” Elsa agreed.
So… are they saying my brother saja je nak kenakan dia orang ? But why the funny look he gave Elsa when I first brought up the subject ?
“Are you telling me the truth ????” I asked again.
“Mum… smell my hand Mummy..” Said Elsa extending her hand to me. “It smells nice… it doesn’t smell bad…”
Kelakar sungguh si Elsa.
“Yelah… I don’t mean just now. Yesterday maybe… two days ago ? Three days ?”
“Mana ada lah, Mummy !!” Said now the clearly frustrated Umar. “Okay, okay… like this. Ti, do you know how to wash your own o-ok ?” Said he, looking at his sister expectantly.
“No… I don’t know….” She answered, shaking her head.
“See Mum ? If she doesn’t know how to wash her own o-ok… how can she wash mine ?”
He really got me at that. So I shut my trap.
PS : After that he kept on complaining about my brother. To calm him down I said, “Mamu kan main-main saja….”.
“But it’s rambutan ! I hate rambutan !! Anyway he is so rough…”
“Umar… what kinds of uncles do you like ? An uncle that ignores you or an uncle that actually took time to play with you ?”
He became quiet.
“When you are all grown up nanti, you are able to tell your children about your very playful uncle. Nanti Umar cakap pasal Mamu Pek who once threw rambutan at you !!”
He then laughed.
“So nanti when I grow up I have my own BUDAK…., I will tell them about my past ?” He said, grinning inanely at me.
“Memang lah tak reti !!” I replied, rather shrilly I might add. Due to fear I think as my head was already mentally ticking where I need to mop with extra vigor with superfluous amount of soap. “Ijat ngan Mail sampai darjah 3 aku masih basuh pungkok dia orang !!”. I jat and Mail… take note, do not be rude to me. You owe the state of your bums to me and Ita.
“Habis kalau tak de orang kat rumah, siapa yang basuh ?” He asked again. “He is never in a situation where there are no adults to wash him, Pek….” I answered. “Kenapa ni ?” I asked, getting hysterical.
He shook his head, his face grim. Abang aku memang suka buat macam tu. Cakap tak nak habis, buat orang panic. “Pernah tak Titi yang basuh dia ?” I am sure my eyes grew round and round and round at that.
“HA ????” Was all I could muster. The idea was too monstrous, too preposterous my mind couldn’t even conjure up the image.
I collected my kids without much delay. As soon as I locked the car door, I pounced on them.
“Who washed your bum today, Um ?” I asked.
“Bibik lah…” He answered lazily.
“Pernah tak Titi basuh o-ok U-um ?” With that he sat up straight. Elsa who was sitting at the back moved to the center of the car. I stole a look at Umar and his face was….. well… I don’t know how to describe it but I just don’t like how he looked at Elsa.
“Tak ! Mana ada !”
“Betul ke ni, Um ? Titi ?” I pressed.
“Betul lah. Mana ada Titi basuh o-ok Umar !!” Answered Titi.
“Tapi Mamu Pek cakap …” Said I and both of them snorted. My mom reported that day both of them bergaduh satu hari dengan Mamu Peknya. Abang aku kuat mengusik… dia memang suka buat orang nangis. Dia memang rajin main dengan anak-anak and games with him will be full of laughter but usually it will end up with somebody (or everybody) in tears.
“Mamu Pek naughty hari ni !!” Said my son with some anger. “Dia main baling-baling rambutan… kena kat muka !!” Umar memang geli dengan rambutan. When I brought Umar and Dan to my first overseas assignment in Bangkok, we stayed at a luxurious hotel along Sukhumvit Road. Umar was forever attacking the room phone (he was 2) and therefore to stop him, we positioned a few complimentary rambutans on the phone.
“A-ah kan Um !!” Elsa agreed.
So… are they saying my brother saja je nak kenakan dia orang ? But why the funny look he gave Elsa when I first brought up the subject ?
“Are you telling me the truth ????” I asked again.
“Mum… smell my hand Mummy..” Said Elsa extending her hand to me. “It smells nice… it doesn’t smell bad…”
Kelakar sungguh si Elsa.
“Yelah… I don’t mean just now. Yesterday maybe… two days ago ? Three days ?”
“Mana ada lah, Mummy !!” Said now the clearly frustrated Umar. “Okay, okay… like this. Ti, do you know how to wash your own o-ok ?” Said he, looking at his sister expectantly.
“No… I don’t know….” She answered, shaking her head.
“See Mum ? If she doesn’t know how to wash her own o-ok… how can she wash mine ?”
He really got me at that. So I shut my trap.
PS : After that he kept on complaining about my brother. To calm him down I said, “Mamu kan main-main saja….”.
“But it’s rambutan ! I hate rambutan !! Anyway he is so rough…”
“Umar… what kinds of uncles do you like ? An uncle that ignores you or an uncle that actually took time to play with you ?”
He became quiet.
“When you are all grown up nanti, you are able to tell your children about your very playful uncle. Nanti Umar cakap pasal Mamu Pek who once threw rambutan at you !!”
He then laughed.
“So nanti when I grow up I have my own BUDAK…., I will tell them about my past ?” He said, grinning inanely at me.
Budak ? Merepeknya ko anak ku…
4 comments:
U sure Umar tak pandai cuci sendiri lagi? So, kalau dia terbuang kat sekolah camana?
I memang tak bagi basuh sendiri sebab tak bersih kan... kuman. Lagi pun dia penggeli no 1. He will never buang kat public toilet without his parents after this very dreadful incident kat Kompleks PKNS. Dia dengan aku-aku nangis... Waa !! Kotornya ...
How old is Umar? I don't know how to wash myself until I was 7 or 8 I think. And I will never use a dirty public toilet, unless dah desperate sangat. hehe Itu pun kat public toilet hotel. wahahaha!!! Alhamdulillah the Mall public toilet here is clean. Siap ada hose & tissue - for free! : )
Umar is 8 Niyui. He he.... yesterday I was busy gardening and when I got inside bila dah bang, he casually announced dia basuh his own behind while I was outside.
It looked clean !! He he
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