Umar and his colours

Dan called me a tyrant… Stationery tyrant, that is….. because I could get worked up if Umar came home with 1 pencil short. If he loses his eraser again, I think Dan has to hire a psychiatrist to help me get through it. I don’t know why I am like that, but I just am ( trust me, I have learned some crucial breathing exercise to calm me down. It is harder for a non-screamer like me ).

Umar has gone through 2 boxes of 12 short colour pencils this year. When I gave him the second set, I warned him that under no circumstances would I tolerate the disappearance of even 1 colour. Therefore my first encounter with the said set ( mind you, I did not make it a point to check everyday only when I help him with his homework and have a full view of his stationery ), I was astonished to find there were 13 colours instead of the customary 12. He he…

Then of course, the inevitable ( Dan said inevitable, I said it could be prevented ) happened. He lost the whole box. Aiseh. When I asked what happened, his eyes grew bigger and started to get glassy ( berkaca kata org Melayu sebab dah nak teriak dah ). He looked so much like a wounded puppy that I just sighed and hand him his home colouring set.

Now you have to understand how much Umar loves colours. He so loves rainbow. He said his house would be rainbow coloured with blues and greens and oranges and reds and purples. His car colouring book is filled with rainbow coloured cars. His dream Porsche is in canary yellow. Therefore what can his mother do but buy a majestic 36 colour pencils collection as his home colouring set. He is is very proud of it. However it could be only used at home as home is the only place where mummy could guard it like there is no tomorrow. But when the second box of colours were found missing late at night, mummy had to hand over the brand spanking box of 36 colours for school.

Umar’s eyes went wide when he saw me slipped it into his bag. I had him promised that he will take good care of it. Many, many times. Saturday came and time to do his music theory homework. It was just his luck that his homework required some colouring done. I asked him to fetch his colours. He gulped. And was very slow to retrieve it. It took him a long time to return with the said colours. From his demeanour, I was not shocked to see 6 were missing. I did not lecture but I did pass a sentence, no PS2 for 2 more months ( he is currently under 5 months ban – don’t ask me for what as I couldn’t remember. 2 weeks ago his Babah was playing Ultimate Alliance and found it difficult to fight Mephisto. Umar shouted out instructions but Babah still couldn’t do it – at one point Umar ran to his room in frustration at Babah’s failure to kill Mephisto. We were watching the telly together afterwards when Dan said “ Umar….. macam mana ha nak kalahkan Mephisto ni ? “ and Umar replied while looking at me from the corner of is eyes, “ I could help you Babah but I am banned from playing until May…… “ Memang nak kena budak ni… Bagi jugak tapi for that 1 day only to help Babah advance to the next stage ).

That night, I complained to his Babah and Dan said “ Laa… yang dia tunjuk kat you tu buat apa ? I told him not to…. “ Dan went quiet when he saw my horrified face. “ You guys planned to keep this from me ? You are teaching your son it’s okay to fight the authorities !! “

“ Ala, kids are like that. They lose things. I was going to buy a new set to replace it tapi tak sempat rupanya, “ Dan said calmly. This guy is really missing the point, thought I. “ How do you profess to explain the new, still unbattered box to me ? “

“ By doing homework with him every night until the box look old, that is how… “

Menyesal jugak. If I didn’t make a big deal out of it, memang dah sah – sah terlepas homework duty… he he….

Umar's loose tooth

Umar’s loose tooth is really bothering him and us. Yesterday when he couldn’t enjoy his cookies, he bravely told me that he is having it removed that very day. How, I asked and he said he is going to ask his Babah to do it for him. But, he cautioned, not before dinner. After dinner will suit him very fine.

Babah prepared dinner because he came home early and therefore we know what to expect for dinner; soup and baguettes. Sure enough when he hollered for us to come and get it, there were 2 huge bowls of soup, 2 freshly baked crusty baguettes, a bowl of corn and some chicken toasts.

After dinner as we were cleaning up the table, he asked his Babah to take the tooth out for him. Babah looked at his son in horror and said in no circumstance is he ever going to do that. I suggested tying up his tooth with a thread, tie the other end to a doorknob and then push the door hard and wallah !! The tooth will go with the door. It will be a quite painless tooth extrication affair. I know... I had it done when I was little. My Mami Ela helped me. No big deal.

Umar looked skeptical but was gamed to try. You not scared, I asked because his readiness scared me off my plans for some reason. Yup, he said because he doesn’t want to swallow another tooth. “ It is yucky Mom. My tooth sitting in my tummy, “. I ho hummed after that and the plan was forgotten. Ee… takut pulak.

Anyway, to take his mind off the subject, I asked him about Azwan, if he is still bothering my baby. Umar had a delighted look on his face and said, “ Mum, he decided to be friends with me now. He is not rude to me anymore ! “ Really, I asked. Is it because you have stopped talking ? No, he replied, I talk just as much….

Hmmm……… have you guys seen the Volvo ad on the telly ? Where this guy fetched his daughter from somewhere and deposited her at the back seat, and the daughter all the while talked ? You remember he had to politely wait with the door opened, to wait until his little girl finished talking but she never did ? Well, that happened to us a lot. What did not happen a lot is where the father gave a little smile of amusement listening to his baby’s incessant chatter. We do smile sometimes but then I would say 60% of the time we would escape to our own little head, trying to get some rest.

We do not want to ask/order him to shut up because a lot of people warned us not to do that. It would stunted his brain growth, said one. He must be allowed to say his mind or later on he wouldn’t be able to articulate his thoughts at all, said another. Okay, okay. We are listening to all these advice. Okay, we are letting him talk….. But if he ever become a politician, I will put all the blame on my advisors !!

What is on Umar's shoulder ?

We went to our old house yesterday to get the mail. Dan brought the wrong keys and had to climb the fence to have access to the mailbox. As I was laughing and pointing at him, Abang Hassan from next door came to talk to us.

I like our old neighbourhood. The neighbours are friendly and their kids are good influence to my children. We chatted for awhile before Kak Yam, abang Hassan’s wife joined us.

Our kids go to the same school so we meet quite often. Kak Yam told me that Umar is such a busy boy. I was surprised with the remark and asked what she meant by it. Kak Yam said whenever she saw Umar, he would look like he is in deep thoughts. Sometimes, his forehead will be creased, Kak Yam said that depicts deeper thoughts.

“ You have a smart boy there… “ She said. I asked because his forehead is creased all the time ? Yes she said, because he is always thinking. He looked like he has all the problems in the world on his shoulder. That is good ?

At that, Dan smiled. “ Like mother, like son, “ he said. Hmm….

Into my Memory Box

Yesterday was a totally Italian affair for us. Lunch at Italiannies eating marvelous pastas in carbonara and pomodoro sauces. We had warm rosemary bread and fried calamari. At night we had pizza. And at night to Mummy and Babah had diarrhea for some reason.

Anyway, we went to Italiannies at the Curve and I love the Curve’s weekend bazaar. As we trawled the many stalls, we came about a toy’s stall. Hee…… ada aja. Titi saw the many pink bags and wanted one. I steered her view to the cheaper options of stickers and playing cards.

Umar saw Pokemon’s playing cards and grabbed one. It was only RM3 which I find quite cheap. Elsa was already holding a Disney Princess sticker book. I tried to entice her to take a stack of Pokemon playing cards too but she refused. Okay.

In the car, abang was happy reading and scrutinizing his cards and Elsa was flipping her book. Then I saw her tossed her book away. O-oh. “ Mummy, Titi nak card, “ she said, “ Tadi I kata I nak card, not stickers, “ Amboi, pandainya dia nak belit !!

Babah swung around to look at her. She saw Babah’s face and quickly looked away. Then she pushed on her ‘Repeat’ button. “ Please Titi nak card, “ over and over again. When we reminded her that she was the one who wanted the stickers, she blithely ignored it.

When we got home, everybody was in a sour mood. I tried to escape by running upstairs and talking incoherently. I was hiding in the bathroom feigning stomachache when I actually was just reading a book, I heard Dan hollered my name. I flushed, washed my hand a bit and found Umar and Babah at the computer. Babah had scanned and printed a copy of the cards. I was needed to cut them into shape.

Titi held them for about an hour. Then they ceased to interest her anymore. I pick them up one by one and put them in my miscellaneous box. My memory box. I will give this to her when she complains about her kids…..

Aiman pulak

Conversation I had with Umar this morning as I walked him to school.

Umar : Mummy, Aiman kan kat sekolah agama kan is very naughty lah Mummy.

Mummy : Naughty macam mana ?

Umar : He likes to ejek me, calling me names. He said I have bad teeth and I have a girlfriend.

Mummy : Do you have a girlfriend ?

Umar : ( Sighed and rolled his eyes ) No Mum. Dia saja - saja cakap macam tu. I want to tumbuk dia Mum.

Mummy : What ? No ! Never do that. Umar dah tumbuk dia ke ?

Umar : No tapi dia tumbuk Umar.

Mummy : What ? What did your Ustazah do ?

Umar : She was not in class yet at that time. Aiman duduk belakang sekali.

Mummy : And then what happened ?

Umar : I asked Tariq to help me and Tariq pushed Aiman away.

Is there something wrong with my son ? Why does he rub people the wrong way ? Azwan in morning school and Aiman in agama school. I told Dan probably because he talks too much and orang pun naik boring. Dan said because they are jealous of his good looks. I think he is darn handsome because he is my son but I don't think other people share my view.

I just wonder if he started it....

I will call the Ustazah.

Umar’s Predicament

Monday night, we had dinner with Dan’s parents at a restaurant in Shah Alam. My baby Umar was drinking plain water when he made a strangled sound. I looked at him and saw the clear water was tainted with blood. Umar opened his mouth and I saw his tongue was marred with more blood and there was a gap where his loose tooth used to be. Immediately I asked, “ Where is your tooth ? “ He couldn’t articulate a response as he tasted blood and a bit panicky. Dan and I rushed him to the sink and as he spitted and sputtered, there was no sign of the offending molar.

He had swallowed it with his water.

Being a real squeamish person, he was of course feeling quite nauseated with the idea of the tooth in his tummy. Being also told by many many people of his good looks, was very concerned about how he looked.

“ I am not smiling, “ he announced. “ I look funny… “. His Atuk laughed.

He was so upset he slept halfway through the meal. I suppose he thought he wouldn’t have to think of the incident in his head if he slept.

Elsa was having a field day. She kept asking us to show our teeth to check their presence. When satisfied that every tooth was accounted for, she will nod her head and said,” Goooddd……., “ When she came to Umar, she will just shook her head…. He he…

“ I want the tooth Mum…., “ He said, lips jutting out. Kata orang Penang “ dah chom dah….. “ When I asked what for, he said he wanted the money tooth fairy owes him. No tooth, no money. Hai…. Malas dah nak explain about tooth fairy. If he understood the reality of Santa Claus, why is it so hard to comprehend about tooth fairy ? I suspect because of the presence of cold, hard cash.

However, he was worried and I was worried. Worried about the presence of the molar in his tummy. I cooked up a thousand scenarios in my head and he was all queasy about it, both of slept fitfully that night.

Tell me, should I be worried ?

Weekends with my kids 3 ( ye ke ? )

On Saturday I withdrew some money from the ATM to pay for Umar’s piano lessons. As usual, 1 wants to slot in the card, the other wants the grab the money and then fought for the receipt.

The notes came out in fifties and Umar said he wanted one. I asked him what he wanted it for and he said just for keeps. I gave him RM1 instead and mula le muncung. Boleh gantung baju !!

Yesterday we went to KLCC sebab Tok Mi needed new shoes. When Dan’s mom heard we were going, she gave RM100 to Umar. “ Beli lah barang. Nak makan ke.. “ pesan Umar’s Wan. Umar menyengih gila and told me under no circumstances are we using the money to buy food. “ I want to buy something that is going to make me happy Mummy, “ said he. “ Oh really ? “ I replied, “ What will make you happy ? “ “ Something special that is exciting, “.

I suggested using the money for lunch at Chillies ( his favourite restaurant ) and he said he is still full and do not require anymore sustenance. Sombong betul. Anyway I told him that yesterday rugi aje dia muncung sebab tak dapat duit RM50 as today he was given RM100. Do you know what my son said ?

“ But Mom, I really want 4 Million, “

“ What do you want 4 Million for, “ asked his horrified Mummy.

“ I want to buy thousands of toys. Imagine how happy I would be !! “ Kebahagiaan di ukur dengan jumlah mainan.

Anyway, after he trawled Isetan for hours looking for the ultimate excitement that promises happiness, he declared he was hungry and needed Chillies after all. Sebab Tok Mi nya ada sekali tak boleh le menyekeh. Bawak jugak lah.

As usual we had to wait for a table. To pass time, we had a quick look at the TGV and discussed future possible movies. Spiderman came top of the list. After eating, we walked out of the restaurant and I was holding Elsa’s hand. She suddenly said to me, “ Tengok wayang ke ? “ I said wayang ? “ Ha… tengok Spiderman kan Mom ? “ Udah. “ No lah Titi, Spiderman belum siap lagi, “ I said. “ Tu.. ? “ She said pointing at the poster.

“ Oh gambar je dah siap. Wayangnya belum siap…. “ She looked at me, forehead creased. “ Okay, “ she finally said and sighed. “ Tapi nanti tengok tau… “ and Tok Mi laughed. “ Nati kita ajak Mamu Jat pegi okay ? “ “ Haa…… “ she said happily.

Hai…….