Pergaduhan besaq dalam kete

On the way home from lunch, Abang and Adik were bickering from the back seat.

“You ripped my book ! You always rips my books !”

“Mana ada !” This came from Adik.

“I think you have ripped 9 of my books !!”

“You ripped my books too !”

“What ? Okay … maybe like one…. But you ripped 9 of my books already !”

“No ! You ripped like 7 of my books !”

“Tak ! Tipu ! Mana ada !”

“Okay… okay… maybe not 9, but Abang ada ripped my books !”

“Yeah.. like one ! You ripped 9 !” He roared. Babah and Mummy just listened from our seats.

“I like ripping books….” Was the very, very berani mati admission.

He he… Babah and Mummy sniggered quietly.

“You do ? You are terrible ! TERRIBLE ! You have been ripping my books for years ! YEARS !!”

“But Abang….” the little girl protested. “I am only 6 years old !”

He he… aduhai lah… Good point actually.

“Well… you have been ripping my books for 6 years !”

Ha ha… I cannot take it. I want to laugh out loud.

“Abang… it is only a book. What is the matter ?”

“Only books ? Only ? Books are knowledge !”

Amboi ! Books are knowledge konon. The said ripped book is a Pokemon book, okay. Knowledge apa buku tu bagi. Melampau sungguh si Abang ni.

“Well…. I happen to like ripping books… It has a raspberry feeling to it…” Came the very, very berlagak reply. Babah couldn’t understand what she meant by it and inadvertantly broke the fight by asking, “What did she say, Abang ? What does that mean ?”

Dah keluaq sora Babah of course le budak-budak tu teruih sengap.

Damn it. I was so looking forward to hear what they were gonna come up next.

Sigh……..

Sejak bila toyol cenggini ?

“Mummy…. Kenapa polis nak tangkap ?” Asked Ana one day while we were travelling in the car, on the way home form dinner.

“Sebab kalau kita evil step-mother, polis tangkaplah… Kalau kita jadi Cinderella polis tak tangkap.. So Ana kena jadi Cinderella okay ? Cinderella dia sweet sweet macam ni….” And I fluttered my eyelashe away. Gelak dia… ha ha….

“Ko ni… jangan dok cakap sangat pasal evil step-mother…kang kalau ayah dia nak kawin lain nanti, payah…..” My mom admonished. Aiseh… kacau lah…

Anyway.. sapa bagi ayah dia kawin lain ?

SO dah mak aku decreed kat belakang, I have to comply. So aku ubah taktik.. “Ana jangan jadi toyol, okay ?”

“Toyol ? Toyol baiklah Mummy sebab dia baby …” She said, berkerut-kerut muka. He he…. Ye ke ?

“Then, kenapa toyol colour green ? Mana ada baby colour green ?”

“Bukan green lah, Mummy… blue….”

Blue ? Version apa ni ? Smurf ke ?

“Lepas tu dia punya zip warna yellow…”

He ? Zip ? Yellow zipper ?

Err… kita citer apa ni Ana ?

Ha ha………..

Grey kitten yang tak mo makan...

Mummy didn’t get to see her babies when she got home. Babah fetched Mummy at Mutiara Damansara with the kids sure, but both of them were snoring and sprawled 49 ways in the car. Ha ha…..

Adik woke up a bit though and upon seeing me she wanted to climb on my lap of course but Mummy’s lap was supporting Abang’s huge legs and there were no space. So Adik who was sitting at the front seat curled on the chair with her head facing the back seat so she can see her Mammy.

Bless…

Anyway, come morning Mummy was woken up by thunderous footsteps coming towards her. Her babies jumped on the bed with so much joy, her heart swelled with pride.

“G bagi the Persians minum tak ?” Mummy asked.

“Bagi….” Answered Adik as she snuggled close to me. Abang couldn’t get close to me on account of Adik, so he positioned himself across the pillows so his head met mine.

“Tapi kan Mummy… the grey one macam tak nak makan…. He doesn’t want to feed….” Abang reported.

“Why ?”

“Sebab yang orange tu ganas sangat… Dia suka saja tolak-tolak… !”

“Oh ? Sian…..” What else could I say ? Yang orange tu memang terrorist sikit.

“I know what !” Adik announced suddenly, and just as sudden she sat upright. “I will draw boobs here…..” she indicated the length of her chest to her abdomen, “8 of them and then I will go Meow Meow and then the grey kitten can drink lah… Sebab takde orang berebut !”

Her face was so animated, and so very proud of herself for thinking something so clever, I fully expected her to say “Eureka !”

Comellah ko ni……

Nak lukis boobs konon… Ha ha…

Diva mulut becok, Adik dan sahabatnya A...

Okay…. Hangpa tau aku sakit kan ?

So bayangkan lah betapa bertambah sakitnya aku when Adik came home and announced, “Mummy….Mak A sakit jantung. A kan cakap kan nanti kan mak dia mati lepas masuk hospital…”

Oh tak terkejutkah anda especially bila mak si A ini adalah DR, kawan baru ku yang I lap u so much forever and ever walau baru kenai ?

So tanpa membuang masa, I grabbed my trusted mobile and called her. No answer.

In my head, minah tu adalah dalam hospital sebab tu tak jawab. I imagined her hooked up on monitors in a CCU (since I already know what that looked like when visiting my mom), anak-anak meraung tepi katei and doctor dok keluaq masuk keluaq masuk.

Meremang bulu roma.

Aku sambung soal Adik lagi and she repeated her story.

Sapa tak panic ? Sapa ?

Kamil also got drawn into the drama as upon his return I pounced on him with the story.

Call husband dia, suggested my hubby. Alas, mana aku ada nomor En A itu ?

Pastu aku call bespren dia, SA aka Bob. Tak jawab pulak.

Ikhtiar terakhir, call our mutual friend, K. K kata she knows another of DR’s number so I left her to it.

“Ntah-ntah Kamil, si A dengan adik-beradik dia buat bising kot pastu si DR berlakon sakit jantung….” Well you know, something that I myself have done many, many times. Dan untuk kesekian kalinya I asked Adik to repeat her story. Macam real je dia bercerita, dengan gigi rongak kat depan.

This time around I asked, A looked worried ? Is a sad ? Is AJ (abang si A) sad ?

“Oh Mummy… tadi masa kat sekolah AJ dengan kawan dia nama K kan ejek saya so saya kejar dia orang….” Hmmm……….. that doesn’t look like somebody that is worried about his Mum is, it ? So maybe tak de apa-apa… But …. The boy is 9…. Namanya budak-budak kan ? They forget easily…… Anyway, I have never seen a 9 year old yang dok termenung, what more a 9 year old boy. Kalau little girls tu possibly….

Hmmm………

So we wait and I fretted and continued concocting a million devastating sceneries in my head.

Until K sms-ed to say, well I was right ! Itu semua lakonan ibunda untuk mendisiplinkan anak-anak ! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA !

Phewwwwhh…. Lega.

Moral of the story ?

Adik and A, please pandang depan and concentrate cikgu dok ajaq apa. Not echanging stories and leaving a trail of kekecohan on your wake.

Hmmm…………………