Amir, Umar and Elsa

Amelia and I took our children out for lunch on Saturday. Amelia sent her car for washing, she and Amir then jumped into my car. On the way, I stopped for petrol at Shell. Amir was so cute. He told me that his dad also uses Shell because " Shell bagi kete ada power ". I told him then his father was really smart because he works in Shell. He agreed and re-iterated that Shell gives power to cars.

I then pointed out to him that his mother works in ExxonMobil and therefore uses Esso. This smart little boy then said, " Itulah, ibu tak suka kete dia ada power.... ". He he...

Sunday was Umar's first tennis leson. The coach is my cousin Abg Ijam ( Kamalia, you know his sister, Rahela Abd Rahim. I think your lecturer at UUM ) who is a lecturer of Sports Science at UiTM. Initially, he was shy but eager to learn. However 10 minutes after that, the ice had not just been broken, but it thawed and was evaporating. Fast. Very fast.

We could hear his chatters and questions and chatters. He even told his coach ( not my cousin but a young, pleasent chap called Sharul ) that he doesn't like running but wants to concentrate on hitting the balls only. He was totally useless during his turn to collect the balls. He would just collect the balls in one area and ignored the rest. I shouted and pointed to where the other balls were but Dan stopped me and forbade me to interfere. Interfere ? I was not interfering. I was just telling him to do his tasks properly. Salah ke ?

Anyway, Elsa was excited too. She keeps shouting encouraging words to her brother. " You can do it Um !! " or " Hurry Um !! Run faster !! ". When we asked if she wanted to join she intially refused but towards the end of the class asked for a racquet. He he... lagi tinggi racquet dari dia.

Umar looked so cute when he played. He was determined and very eager to learn. We however borrowed the racquet from my cousin as I do not want to invest in something that he could potentially lose interest in 1 month.

Today on the way to school, he was animatedly talking about tennis when suddenly he said, " Mum, when I enter the competition in Australia .... , ". Australia ?

Mum : What competition in Australia ?

Umar : There is a tennis competition in Australia kan ?

Mum : You mean the Australian Open ?

Umar : I think so ( Tang ni mak dia dah bantai gelak ). Mum, can I enter that competition ?

Mum : Wah ha ha... sure....

Umar : If I win, will I get the trophy ?

Mum : Umar, if you win, you will win like a million ringgit Umar.

Umar : But mum, I want the trophy....

Wah ha ha ha ha...

Help !!

Dukung Titi

Macam – macam hal Elsa. Dia ni because she is small is still carry-able ( dukung-able ). Therefore she is tremendously lazy when it comes to using her legs for walking. Her excuse is always ;

Elsa : I am cold Babah, please dukung.

Hmm…. Macam – macam. There is one time when she had a fight with her Babah, she announced that she doesn’t want her Babah anymore. She only wants her Mummy. Babah belongs to U-um now. Then she added,

Elsa : Mummy, you can dukung me later, Mum..

She sounded like it is a privilege to be able to dukung her. Her Babah gave a delighted laugh and was very gleeful. But, it was not for long. When we got out of the car, as predicted she reached for my hand and we walked hand in hand. However the father couldn’t stand the fact that his only little girl wouldn’t talk to him, so has been very agreeable to her requests. Soon, she switched from holding my hand to her father’s. And then after awhile, “ Bah, I am so cold … ! “ Mua ha ha ha… I was the one who was gleeful at the end…. Ha ha…

When we ate, I innocently asked her who was mad at her to the point of yelling ? She shrugged her cute little shoulders and said, “ No one,”. Dan smiled and gave me a smug look. I was dissatisfied and pressed her again for an answer. She looked at her Babah, smiled at me and said, “ Babah…, “ fondly, twitch her nose and kissed her Babah’s upper arm.

Dan gave me another smug look.

Hmm………..

Shoo !!

Umar is such a grown boy now. I remember being worried about him being 2 and still couldn’t talk properly… ½ a year later he did at an alarming alacrity and now, 5 years later I worry about his inability to stop. Why did I bother to worry in the first place ?

Last night, I heard him bickering with Elsa ( what’s new ? ). He was all hot and bothered and Elsa was speaking in a more conciliatory, mollifying tone. When he saw me, he raised his voice up a notch, “ Mum, Titi berak lagi dalam pampers… Titi… I told you the smell is horrid !! Why do you keep doing this ? “. Elsa was leaning against the bed and from her position I surmised her abang had taken a peep at the contents of her pampers.

Mummy : Elsa o-ok ke ?

Titi : Ha…. O-ok….

Mummy : Why do you that ? Dah lama dah Titi berhenti…..

Titi : I don’t know Mummy..

Mummy : ( After checking her bottom ) Tak de pun Umar ?

Umar : You have to go deeper inside Mum. It is somewhere there…

Mummy : Oii… tak delah. Bau pun tak de….

Titi : Takde o-ok ke Mummy ?

Mummy : Oi… you don’t know whether you ada ke tak de ?

Titi : Tak de ? Okay……

Ada ke ? Sendiri punya hal pun tak tahu ?

Last week, we were eating dinner at home and Umar being a very picky eater, scrutinized every spoonful of food before he allowed it to enter his mouth.

Mummy : Tak de benda Umar. Just eat them. There is nothing there that tastes bad.

Umar : Mum … I can see something that I don’t like there…

Babah : There is nothing there Umar… makan aje…. I cannot see anything …

Umar : Bah, I have big eyes okay ? I can see everything !! I have big eyes… I can see more than you….

Ye ke ? I myself am very unsure…

Seperti biasa ( at least on alternate days ) she had a fight with her Babah. This time because she ripped one of Abah’s comic books. She was wailing loudly and Abah saja tambah mengusik… just to see her get angrier. I then told Dan to leave the room, as I know his parents would be coming to rescue their granddaughter soon.

Elsa : Yes Bah.. Shoo! Shoo !!

Babah : Shoo ? ( Mummy and and Babah exchanged looks )

Elsa : Bah, I don’t want to see your face. Get away from me Bah. Leave my room !!

Mummy : Elsa that is not very nice….. that is so rude

Elsa : Bah.. shoo Bah.. shoo !!

Baru nak cekak pinggang, Dan’s mum dah jenguk…. She refused to leave with her grandma but when she looked at me for support and saw my face, she quickly left with Dan’s mom. Outside, Dan’s father was waiting for her. Nanti kau, Elsa… I still have that bone to pick with you…. Shoo indeed !!

Umar, Elsa and potato crisps...

Dan woke up hungry Sunday morning. He went to look for his hidden Lays and ate in bed. The leftover was placed next to him. Then Umar woke up and as usually jumped into our bed and inadvertently saw the crisps. He asked permission to eat it but I did not allow it, as it was still too early.

We watched telly and Umar left for his room. Suddenly Dan saw him on all fours heading towards the crisps. We kept our eyes glued to the telly and watched him from the corner of our eyes. He slowly reached for the potato, took some and hurriedly crawled to his room again.

Dan and I looked at each other. What ? Does he think we are blind ? He then came again, on all fours once more but this time took the box with him, and ate while crouching and watched the telly with us. What ? Does he think we really are that blind ?

Like when I pray. Do they think I am in another world when I pray ? A few weeks ago, while I was performing my Maghrib, Elsa played with my stuffs on my vanity table. Suddenly I heard an “ O-oh… “. I heard a hasty cleaned-up act, then she slowly climbed down the chair and walked backwards until she get to the bed and jumped on it. I heard her breathed a sigh of relief.

When I checked my stuffs, I found a totally ruined Chanel lipstick. “ ELSA !!!! “. Why walked backwards ?

Again, I was on my prayer mat, reading the Quran in between Maghrib and Isyaq. I could sense my son hovering behind me, looking for something at the vanity table. He then said, “ Okay, stealth…. Slowly.. “ Then he said, “ Tip toe… “ and proceeded to do so. When he was about to climbed on my chair, I gave out aloud , “ HOI !! “. Ha ha… he was so shocked, he toppled over and landed on me……..

Ha…. Again…. Where does he think I was ? I WAS RIGHT THERE !! Maybe because I always ignored them when I pray, they think I will be oblivious to the happenings around me ? Or does he think he could be invisible ?

The earlier-mentioned Lays though quickly became a source of a fight between them both. Elsa woke up and saw Umar munching away and demanded for some. Umar told her to get it from us and so she ran to our room and requested for it. Dan told her to take the whole box to her room.

Elsa : Okay Babah. Thank you…

Mummy : Share dengan U-um okay ?

Elsa : Okay Mum. Sure…..

Nope, it didn’t happen. She refused to share and tears of course flowed from both parties. Babah went in the battleground to help restore peace but ended up kelahi dengan Elsa. I heard a few “ Babah jahat.. “ and “ Tak nak kawan dengan Babah… “ and “ Titi nak Mummy saja… “. Of course while Babah was there, he saw the state of their room and naik angin lagi. A new war ensued and the both of them had to clean up.

I was in the bathroom at that time and when I went in to look at them, Elsa was on the bed, red eyed and Umar was picking up his toys. When Elsa saw me, tears flowed again and she reached for me for comfort.

Elsa : Babah naughty Mummy….

Mummy : Kenapa Titi tak nak share dengan Umar ?

Elsa : Because itu Titi punya…

Mummy : Jangan macam tuh… you always have to share…. Umar pun suka Lays jugak…

Umar : Titi tau tak semua budak suka makan potato chips … ? Dah lah aku jugak yang kena kemas sorang – sorang……

Ha ha ha… Dan and I tergelak besar bila dengar.. kelakar lah Umar.

Tapi Umar memang anak Babah dia…. Champion leter… The scene below happened last night. Elsa although is already toilet trained will still be encased below the navel with pampers… just in case….. Anyway, we were at Petronas Sek 6, I was paying and Dan was waiting by the pump. When I entered the car, Umar dok membebel…

Mummy : Apahalnya Umar ?

Umar : I could smell something horrid Mum. Titi berak. Ti, you are already 4 years old !! You cannot do this anymore. If you need to berak… you have to tell people. You have to do it in the toilet !! You cannot do it in your pampers… Busuk tau… It is sooo horrid !!

Ya Allah…. Rentikan lah Um…. Especially since Elsa did not do the poo-poo….

Sekolah Rendah Kebangsaan Bandar Anggerik

I like Umar’s primary school. First of all because the headmistress is somebody that I know and trust, my Geography teacher Pn Ramlah ( now Datin Ramlah ). She had always been the nice and loving type of teacher and it is evident she’s is still the same person by the way she runs the school and the way her students are with her.

I have seen students fighting to salam and kiss her hand. I have witnessed students ran to greet her to just say hello. She sometimes would wait for her students to enter the school ground and greet them and the parents warmly ( she once asked me to introduce her to my son and I told Umar that this was my teacher.. Umar seemed unimpressed. When Umar waved me goodbye with a “ Bye Mummy “ cikgu Ramlah said “ Haa.. dah Mummy dah… “ ) and urging the kids to walk faster to the assembly ground if the bell had already rung, non-threateningly of course .. he he…

Anyway, like I mentioned I like the way she ran the school. Every morning during assembly, 1 volunteer ( or kena paksa I don’t know ) will be standing in front to recite the times table. Every morning we will be greeted with now all the too familiar “ 3 kali 3… 9, 4 kali 3… 12 “ in the same sing songy tone. Sometimes it will be “ 2 times 4 is 8 “. That one is usually noticeably at a slower pace. Anyway it is good practice because Umar now could remember a few, eventhough all jumbled up. “ 3 kali 2.. 6, 5 kali 8.. 40, 4 kali 4… 16 “. Takpelah, asal betul ye dak ? But I think the most important thing is my son has no fear for the times table. I remember I was scared of them. Even now, I am kinda uneasy of them, just in case tersilap… malu… he he…

After the times table recital, there will be 5 minutes reading time where everybody will take a storybook and read. Parents will have to ensure that students are well stocked with books in their bag. Then there will be another volunteer who will be up in front of the whole students, with a mic in her/his hand and talk about the book she/he read ( Dan said everyday there will be 2 students who is dreading to go to school ). I find it good practice because it helps to instill the love of reading. Furthermore, I think most of the students there will come out confident of their ability to talk/speak in public.

Then there are free mengaji classes every Saturday for the students. Their aim is for every student to khatam Quran by 12. Last month there was Solat Camp where each student were assessed on their correctnesss of their solat. Good huh ?

One more thing I like about the school is how polite most the students are. Everyday I will be greeted by the pengawas and sometimes by the students. “ Selamat pagi Kak… “ haa… itu part yang paling syok tuh… Kak….. he he….

Umar's Song

Ohh…. Menggigil emak ni semalam. I came home to Umar’s announcement that he is entering a singing competition in school. Eyes wide, I asked him why he wants to do a thing like that. He said because cikgu suruh. When I asked him why his teacher made a request such as that he said because teacher asked the whole class to enter… Ingatkan cikgu dia specifically asked him to enter…

Anyway, I asked him if there are any songs in his mind and he excitedly told me he has a funny song that he wishes to sing for the competition.

“ Lets hear it, “ I say and istighfar was all I could muster when I heard it. It was a fun ditty but it was of his own composing… Waahh !! It goes something like this ( the gist of it lah )

The weather is hot here
I want it to be cold
But Shah Alam has no snow
So I have to go to London or Paris

Oh Malaysia why are you so hot ?
Please give me some snow
I want to play outside
But I am always sweating

Oh Malaysia, oh Malaysia

Okay, the lyrics are not half bad, although it is a major inducer of discreet ( at that moment ) laughter but the melody was inconsistent. Sekejap macam ada his own melody, sekejap macam ada London Bridge, sat lagi another nursery rhyme.

Umar : Is it good Mum ?

Mum : Err… yes… You don’t want to sing other songs that people already know ?

Umar : I think my song is better mom… it is fun…

Mum : Sure, but I don’t think you have the melody right..

So he sang the song again…

Mum : Umar, your melody is different now and your lyrics has changed too. Maybe we should sit down and I can write down your words again so that you could remember..

Umar : Good idea. I think you should sit on the piano too….

Aaahhh… banyak kerja pulak……

That happened on our way to McDonald’s. I hate going there. Selain dari my perut is very Melayu, they serve Coca-Cola… Hmm… enough said. So yesterday, I was coerced going there by my son’s “ You are the best mother in the world Mum. Can we go to McDonald’s ? Ada toy Ninja Turtles that I really like. “

Hmmm….. Awal – awal dah cakap the best mother in the world macam mana nak refuse ?

Are you dissapointed in me Mum ?

Umar : Mum, are you disappointed in me ?

I was asked that question when I queried Umar on the things his ustazah told me, last night.

Mum : No…

Umar : Are you angry then ?

Mum : No….

Umar : So, I am okay ? I am not in trouble ?

Mum : No…. but you have to tell me why do you fall asleep in class ?

Umar : I do not have enough rest Mum. Selalu kena pegi sana pegi sini. Kena jaga Titi….

Mum : Oh really ? Jaga Titi ?

Umar : Yes… it is so hard to take care of her..

Okay…… We went out for dinner again last night. Nando’s by popular demand ( I couldn’t see what the fuss is all about actually ), so we went to SACC. As we were waiting for food, Elsa who was gazing outside suddenly pointed to Nando’s outside hut.

Titi : Look Mum, there is a celebration there…

When we looked, there were paper pink paper streamers and heart shaped decorations.

Titi : It’s Valentine’s Day…

Babah : In April ?

Titi : Look at the love, love…. ( and gestured to the hearts )

I have to tell you this, she didn’t say it like most of us with the vowel e, you know like lurve ( I was once told by a teacher that whoever pronounced it like this, he or she sounds like a constipated cow .. he he ), but lave ( like laugh with a v ) … the correct pronunciation.

Babah and Mummy exchanged looks that said, “ My baby….. “.

Umar kena buli ke ?

Macam – macam hal si Umar. On Friday Dan’s mom announced Umar cuba ngelat pergi sekolah agama. She then duly informed us what was Umar’s excuse.

Umar : Wan, Umar tak payah pegi sekolah agama hari ni sebab uncle Joe tak hantar Dahlya and Jazmyn ( maybe demam kot I am not sure ). Aunty Wawa pening kepala dengan anak dia 3 orang tu and Aunty Su pening kepala dengan Bibik Sarah. Tak de orang nak hantar Umar…

Cakap… macam orang tua. When Dan’s mom pressed him for the real reason, he finally admitted because there is a boy who is much bigger than him who keeps asking for money… Tension….

I asked how did he asked for money, rudely or nicely ? Umar said he asked nicely, usually with “ Umar ada duit tak ? “ Hearing that, I am unsure he was a bully, maybe he really didn’t have money. Dan then asked what car his parents drive, but Umar doesn’t have the answer to that one.

Last night, we went out for dinner and Umar fell asleep in the car. When we woke him up, he cried and complained that his feet wouldn’t wake up. At that moment, I really feel for my son and without thinking I scooped him in my arms and entered the house. Elsa was jauntily walking in front of us ( I could still picture her in green sleeveless t-shirt and green flowered skirt, swaying to the song playing in her head, her figure illuminated by the neon lights outside that entered the house through the big window at the staircase ) and was shocked when she turned around and saw her brother in my arms. As we climbed the staircase, she looked at me and asked why am I carrying Umar ?

Mummy : Because Umar is my baby.

Elsa : Mummy tak sakit belakang ke ? ( my usual excuse when she asked to be carried )

Mummy : Ermm… sakit sakit… tapi sian abang kan ?

Elsa : Come on Mummy, you can do it !!

And she kept giving me encouraging words to help me carry her precious abang safely to his bed.

He he……

Anyway, what is a mother to do on Monday morning but to call his teacher ? Ustazah Rozita was shocked but assured me that she will handle the situation. And no, the boy doesn’t come from a poor family but he does go straight to sekolah agama’s nursery before going to the classes.

I assured her that if he is really poor, I do not exactly mind if he asks my son for money, but ustazah understandably doesn’t like the idea. She said the boy is a bit naughty and that is why she puts him in front next to Umar. With that I became suspicious. Why does the ustazah placed Umar in front of her ?

With that she laughed. She said my son would fall asleep as soon as he enters the class. Give him 5 – 10 minutes he will start snoring and off to slumberland. I was shocked and I emphatised. Kesian dia. Moving him to the front helped a bit. He will be nodding his head but at least he wouldn’t sleep.

What to do ? What to do ?

Unsuccessful Ploy

I read an article on a mother’s experience with a very inquisitive child. After I read it, I was relieved to know that I am not the only mother who felt like wringing her child’s neck for asking too many questions. I learned that feeling tired with the barrages of questions is actually quite normal. Phew… !!

Is there an article for my son that explains maybe he should write all his questions and politely divide it equally between his parents to answer ? Two days ago he asked me about clouds. As I was ( still am ) suffering from an inflamed tonsil, I just shrugged my shoulders because talking hurts. However ( I promise you this is true ) I did make a mental note to explain it all to him when I am better. However…

Umar : The clouds are made of water Mum, don’t you know ?

I gave him a look that says if you already know it, why did you ask me ? Then he proceeded to tell me authoritatively about the cycle of rain… Why ? Why did you ask me if you already know the answer ? Do you want me to confirm what you know ? Or do you want to check if your mother knows everything ?

Elsa loves eggs. Unlike Umar who abhors it, Elsa loves them. Morning, noon and night, that is her menu of choice. Since she developed this affair with eggs, Dan and I hadn’t had eggs with our nasi goreng, mee bandung or any dish that consists of eggs because she would take them away from our plates.

I have made a few attempts to curb her intake ( cholesterol, don’t you know ? ). The most recent one, I tried the vanity angle. Everytime she kisses me, I would say that she smells of eggs.

Mum : Eee…. Busuknya. Bau tulur….

Elsa : Ye ke ? Bau tulur ke ? Okay, Titi lap okay ?

She wiped her mouth with her baju. Then she tried again with more kisses.

Mum : Eeeuuww….. bau tulur lah… Disgusting Titi….

Elsa : Okay Mummy, Titi pegi basuh mulut okay….

Then she walked to the toilet and washed her mouth ( this will take quite sometime because washing her mouth is coupled with playing with the water… kill 2 birds with one stone as they say ).

Mum : ( after kissing her again ) Bau lah Ti…

Elsa : (sighed) Mummy kiss rambut Titi lah… my hair okay Mum ?

Mum : Urgghh…. Baunya…
I don’t know why she puts up with it. Probably she wants to be known as the best person to kiss ever.

Mum : Titi toksah makan telur lah……

Elsa : Toksah makan tulur ? Tak boleh ke Mum ? Makan ikan goreng saja ?

Mum : Haaa… okaylah. Ikan is good…

Elsa : What about roti canai ?

Mum : That is good choice too… no smell what-so-ever….

I beamed, thinking my ploy had work.

Elsa : I know, I know… Ice cream kan Mum smell so nice…. Titi makan ice cream lah…

Mum : ?????

Elsa : Yes… Titi makan ice-cream… Babah.. pegi ambik ice cream for me…. Mummy bagi..

Mum : Cess….. back fired…

Holiday in KL

Our family spent the night in KL on Saturday. The reason is because my mom and her besan ( Shera’s mom ) went to Ahmad Jais’s concert ( I know…. I know…. ). The concert we predicted would finish late and therefore we decided to wait for her in KL with bedrooms within easy reach. Alasan je…. We took the opportunity to spend time with each other.. and tengok wayang.

Movie of choice ? Mr Bean… He he… I had wanted to watch Chermin, in my bid to support the local industries, but I sensed my family agreed just to humour me… ( never mind, I have Amelia, my cerita hantu buddy to go watch it ) but at the 11th hour changed to Mr Bean…

The first thing I thought when I saw the evergreen En Kacang is how he is not exactly … well immortal. He looked old. And how he uncannily looked like his cartoon character. The cartoonist really captured the essence of Mr Bean.

It was hilarious, some time in a slapstick kind of way, the audience was laughing all the time. The movie we caught was at 9.40 pm and it was full to the brim. Elsa watched it with a permanent smile on her face. She laughed and enjoyed herself until about halfway when the day’s activity was getting to her.

Umar… well…. He was laughing and all but at one point, I could see him cringe. Then I saw him closed his eyes. Then he asked to go home. “ Why ? Aren’t you enjoying yourself ? “ He gave out an embarrassed laugh and said “ Mr Bean is so silly Mum. He keeps making all this mistakes…. I cannot stand it anymore….. “ He he…. Umar dah segan tengok lawak bodoh Mr Bean… Dah tak sanggup nak tengok lagi……. Hai…

Anyway, the next day we brought him to PetroSains. You have no idea how much he bugged us to take him there. So since he good really good marks for his exams, we told him it is his present for scoring 100% in Science, Maths and English.

Let me tell you this, PetroSains is a whole lot of fun and very educational. There were gadgets and experiments to try. There were puzzles to solve and simulations to attempt. It was worth the RM 35 to get the 4 of us in. It was well planned and beautifully done. Dan and I wondered how could they squeeze everything in KLCC. And I have to say this, we had been to Red Earth in Edinburgh, Scotland and it could not rival our PetroSains. On our ride back to Level 4, I actually got quite sentimental because I was so proud. It was well managed.

Umar and Elsa’s birthday party this year will definitely be held there.

Merajuk Tak Bertempat

We were in the car yesterday and Elsa was listening to a song by Rossa. That song somehow really touched my little girl’s heart. While singing this song, she will caress and kiss our faces with utmost tenderness.

“ Sekalang kau pergi nan jauh…. “ * Usap * * Usap *

“ Sekalang kau tinggalkan aku….” * Kiss * * Kiss *

Coincidently, while she was stroking my face, Umar mentioned that his Bahasa Arab paper in Sekolah Agama is 35/50. I was shocked and my arms flailed upwards on its own accord and accidentally knocked my daughter’s hand. Big mistake. In a split second I grabbed her hand and offered my apologies. Too late. She was already heartbroken.

Her head hung, she repeated, “ Mummy tak sayang Titi…. “

She walked with her Babah and refused to talk to me. Somehow between ordering our food ( we were at ITM Café for my nasi ayam fix ) and waiting for its arrival, Babah managed to upset her further. Instantly she was best friends with Mummy again.

She positioned her body sideways and her head completely turned to her right ( Babah was on her left ) she claimed that Babah tak sayang Titi. When I said he does and even forced Babah to admit it, she said, “ Tak……… Babah tak sayang Titi, “ and shook her head. She then looked at her father and said, “ I don’t think you should sit here Bah… “ rather forlornly.

Dan and I looked at each other, eyes wide, trying very hard not to laugh. My mother had taught me to never laugh at children’s impertinence. They are funny but by laughing, I am encouraging them, she warned. Being the eldest girl of 8, for as long as I could remember, I had always had a baby brother/sister hanging on my waist. Ada aje adik I gelek kat pinggang. I would be talking and teasing and laughing delightedly if they were ever imprudent with their manners. Mummy advised that I will be teaching them that lack of respect and insolence is okay. They would grow up oblivious to their mistakes.

Therefore, I swallowed my smile and told her sternly that she was being rude. The problem is always the ever-present guardian brother. I noticed Umar had stopped drinking and was looking at us. Then, food arrived. Elsa accepted food from her Babah but kept her face turned the other way. The only time she spoke to him was to ask Babah not to look at her.

On the way back to the car, Titi and Umar walked hand in hand. He protectively allowed her to climb in the car first. When Rossa’s song was played again, all was forgotten. She was all smiles and lovey dovey again… Sigh……

Umar bau ikan goreng

Umar had his exams 2 weeks ago. His daily report was not always encouraging especially his Arabic paper. I came home to his “ I didn’t do the last page, Mum,”. When I asked him why he said he didn’t have enough time and the paper was hard.
Of course I asked why he did not concentrate in class, he looked at me and opened his mouth, “ Mum, do you speak Arab ? “ I knew where the conversation is going already but I bravely said no. “ That’s right. I told my teacher my Abah does not speak Arab, my Mummy does not speak Arab and therefore I also do not know how to speak Arab!! “

Benda – benda macam nilah yang memalukan mak bapak……

Elsa…. Hm lagi sorang…. 3 nights ago she refused to let Umar sleep next to her. She kept asking Umar to go elsewhere dengan alasan Umar busuk bau ikan goreng… Yang abang tu tercengang – cengang lah but it worked well for him at the end because Abah and Mummy had no other way but to let him sleep with them.

The next night, I sternly told Titi that Umar did not consume any fried fish that day…. “ Yes but Umar bau mee Mum …. “.

On Saturday we had dinner with my mom and 2 siblings ( Mail and Marlin ). After dinner we walked them to their car and Umar leaned in Tok’s car for more hugs and kisses from Tok Mi. Elsa was at the other side of the car and from there she thought Umar was going with Tok. She made an awful ruckus, ordering Umar to follow her home. Abah’s explanation of the real situation fell on deaf ears and she only quieted down when Umar stomped his way to her.

In the car, I asked Titi why was she was upset. She said because Umar was leaving with Tok.

Mummy : Kenapa Umar tak boleh ikut Tok ke ?

Titi : Mummy, Titi sayang Umar… ha…..

Umar : Kalau Titi sayang Umar, kenapa Titi pok Umar tadi ?

Titi : Titi sayang Umar okay Um……

Umar : Yelah, tapi why did you hit me just now ?

Titi : ( sighed ) Sebab Um naughty… Titi sayang Umar okay…. Sorry Um….

Mummy and Abah looked at each other with a smile on our faces…

Abah : Pandai anak awak main politik ye ……

Mummy : Eii… anak awaklah

U-um and Titi

My children…

Last night we went to book Dan’s new car. We decided not to get the car that will only be delivered to us in August and purchase one that we will actually get next month. We took our little ‘uns with us to show them the car.

Umar and Elsa were excited. Dan opened the passenger door of the showroom car and invited them to enter. Elsa went in after Umar and soon as she stood in the middle of the back seat, she exclaimed “ Much better…. “ and nodded her head in satisfaction. “ This is better than Abah’s old car ? “ I asked and she said, “ Of course Mummy….. “. Hmm….

Dan who is always very concerned about what his children think of him asked for Umar’s approval. “ Am I loser now ? “ and Umar replied “ No Bah… you are great now… “ Kesian Abah. I told Umar that I have always found his Abah a great person. And this little boy of mine said, “ Sure mom… he’s your boyfriend, “ like it is so yucky to have a boyfriend.

After booking the car, we went straight for dinner. We were driving in silence when suddenly Umar gave a loud piercing scream. Titi for some reason had bitten him. I quickly tried to ease the pain while Dan interrogated the would-be piranha. All questions were met by stony silence.

I then tried to approach her. “ Sapa gigit Umar ? “

Titi : Tak de sapa – sapa

That response is very common from her.

Mummy : Titi…. Umar is crying… sapa gigit dia ?

Titi : Umar tak nanis pun…

Budak ni ingat kita orang pekak ke ? How can she try to camouflage the situation ?

Mummy : Titi… do not lie to me. If you decide to lie I will leave you here…..

At that time we were in Glenmarie. You know how Glenmarie is at night……. But the one who panicked was the victim. The accused remained defiant.

Umar : Titi, please tell Mummy you bite Umar. Nanti Mummy will leave you here…

Titi : No… I don’t know anything….

Eee…. Kerasnya…..

Umar : Come on Ti, just tell her you gigit and everything will be okay……
Mummy : Well Titi ? Sapa gigit Umar ?

Titi : Titi mummy…. I gigit Umar….

Terus gelak – gelak……. Umar was happy too and laughed.

Mummy : Why did you gigit Umar ?

Titi : I don’t know.

Umar : Dia boring – boring gigit Umar … he he… she is so cute…

Pulak… baru tadi melalak sekarang dah cute ? Then they started to wrestle each other and were soon best friends again….

Mummy : Err…. Nak sambung marah ke Dan ?

Dan : Dah lah…. Nanti you slow talk dengan dia…

Aku jugak…..

Art Studio

More drama today for me. Last night Umar asked for my permission to bring his Art Studio ( alah…. Colouring set yang ada colours of different forms, pencil, magic, water , crayon and yang lagi satu macam crayon tu ). I was a bit skeptical about him being able to fit in his bag but he said it would be of no problem. “ I will move it this way and that way Mum, “. I did not give a reply.

This morning he handed me the now 30 colour pencils. When I asked why he said he is going to bring his Art Studio to school, remember ? I told him that I do not think it is a good idea as the Studio is still in tact and I am sure once he takes it to school, one or even two would be missing.

Besides, Babah added, what will Titi use to write and draw ? She usually lugs it around the house, just in case she has a sudden inspiration for yet another masterpiece. Our statements of course provoked another glassy eyes moment. He understandably became less cheerful. He ate breakfast in silence and just shrugged his shoulders when I asked him what does he want for his bekal.

When I held his hand and took him to the school compound, I saw him tried to open his mouth a few times, but changed his mind. As we were about to pass the gate, he finally had the courage to talk or had finally constructed his thoughts and words correctly. He asked if the Studio belongs to Titi only. I denied it and told him it belongs to both of them. It is meant to be used at home and not in school.

At that, the liquid that made his eyes glassy became a river on his cheeks. Aiyooo… Umar. “ Are you not embarrassed that all your friends can see you cry ? “ It got louder. I tried to soothe him as best as I could but he was just really sad. My heart really went out to him but there is nothing that I can do. We are already in school. When the waterworks finally receded, he took my tudung ( he was hugging me anyway, so my tudung was the nearest to him ) and wiped his tears. He even used the ones near my shoulder area that I had to bent down to allow easy access.

“ Dah Mum…, “ he said. He kissed my hand and offered his face for the customary kiss. He gave me a quivery smile. My son… he is always very brave, always trying to show that he is okay after a fight or tears or whatever.

In the car, I rubbed the tear stained tudung to my face and feel wretched. Even now, I am still savouring the bit where my son was woefully pouring his feelings out.

Umar and his colours

Dan called me a tyrant… Stationery tyrant, that is….. because I could get worked up if Umar came home with 1 pencil short. If he loses his eraser again, I think Dan has to hire a psychiatrist to help me get through it. I don’t know why I am like that, but I just am ( trust me, I have learned some crucial breathing exercise to calm me down. It is harder for a non-screamer like me ).

Umar has gone through 2 boxes of 12 short colour pencils this year. When I gave him the second set, I warned him that under no circumstances would I tolerate the disappearance of even 1 colour. Therefore my first encounter with the said set ( mind you, I did not make it a point to check everyday only when I help him with his homework and have a full view of his stationery ), I was astonished to find there were 13 colours instead of the customary 12. He he…

Then of course, the inevitable ( Dan said inevitable, I said it could be prevented ) happened. He lost the whole box. Aiseh. When I asked what happened, his eyes grew bigger and started to get glassy ( berkaca kata org Melayu sebab dah nak teriak dah ). He looked so much like a wounded puppy that I just sighed and hand him his home colouring set.

Now you have to understand how much Umar loves colours. He so loves rainbow. He said his house would be rainbow coloured with blues and greens and oranges and reds and purples. His car colouring book is filled with rainbow coloured cars. His dream Porsche is in canary yellow. Therefore what can his mother do but buy a majestic 36 colour pencils collection as his home colouring set. He is is very proud of it. However it could be only used at home as home is the only place where mummy could guard it like there is no tomorrow. But when the second box of colours were found missing late at night, mummy had to hand over the brand spanking box of 36 colours for school.

Umar’s eyes went wide when he saw me slipped it into his bag. I had him promised that he will take good care of it. Many, many times. Saturday came and time to do his music theory homework. It was just his luck that his homework required some colouring done. I asked him to fetch his colours. He gulped. And was very slow to retrieve it. It took him a long time to return with the said colours. From his demeanour, I was not shocked to see 6 were missing. I did not lecture but I did pass a sentence, no PS2 for 2 more months ( he is currently under 5 months ban – don’t ask me for what as I couldn’t remember. 2 weeks ago his Babah was playing Ultimate Alliance and found it difficult to fight Mephisto. Umar shouted out instructions but Babah still couldn’t do it – at one point Umar ran to his room in frustration at Babah’s failure to kill Mephisto. We were watching the telly together afterwards when Dan said “ Umar….. macam mana ha nak kalahkan Mephisto ni ? “ and Umar replied while looking at me from the corner of is eyes, “ I could help you Babah but I am banned from playing until May…… “ Memang nak kena budak ni… Bagi jugak tapi for that 1 day only to help Babah advance to the next stage ).

That night, I complained to his Babah and Dan said “ Laa… yang dia tunjuk kat you tu buat apa ? I told him not to…. “ Dan went quiet when he saw my horrified face. “ You guys planned to keep this from me ? You are teaching your son it’s okay to fight the authorities !! “

“ Ala, kids are like that. They lose things. I was going to buy a new set to replace it tapi tak sempat rupanya, “ Dan said calmly. This guy is really missing the point, thought I. “ How do you profess to explain the new, still unbattered box to me ? “

“ By doing homework with him every night until the box look old, that is how… “

Menyesal jugak. If I didn’t make a big deal out of it, memang dah sah – sah terlepas homework duty… he he….

Umar's loose tooth

Umar’s loose tooth is really bothering him and us. Yesterday when he couldn’t enjoy his cookies, he bravely told me that he is having it removed that very day. How, I asked and he said he is going to ask his Babah to do it for him. But, he cautioned, not before dinner. After dinner will suit him very fine.

Babah prepared dinner because he came home early and therefore we know what to expect for dinner; soup and baguettes. Sure enough when he hollered for us to come and get it, there were 2 huge bowls of soup, 2 freshly baked crusty baguettes, a bowl of corn and some chicken toasts.

After dinner as we were cleaning up the table, he asked his Babah to take the tooth out for him. Babah looked at his son in horror and said in no circumstance is he ever going to do that. I suggested tying up his tooth with a thread, tie the other end to a doorknob and then push the door hard and wallah !! The tooth will go with the door. It will be a quite painless tooth extrication affair. I know... I had it done when I was little. My Mami Ela helped me. No big deal.

Umar looked skeptical but was gamed to try. You not scared, I asked because his readiness scared me off my plans for some reason. Yup, he said because he doesn’t want to swallow another tooth. “ It is yucky Mom. My tooth sitting in my tummy, “. I ho hummed after that and the plan was forgotten. Ee… takut pulak.

Anyway, to take his mind off the subject, I asked him about Azwan, if he is still bothering my baby. Umar had a delighted look on his face and said, “ Mum, he decided to be friends with me now. He is not rude to me anymore ! “ Really, I asked. Is it because you have stopped talking ? No, he replied, I talk just as much….

Hmmm……… have you guys seen the Volvo ad on the telly ? Where this guy fetched his daughter from somewhere and deposited her at the back seat, and the daughter all the while talked ? You remember he had to politely wait with the door opened, to wait until his little girl finished talking but she never did ? Well, that happened to us a lot. What did not happen a lot is where the father gave a little smile of amusement listening to his baby’s incessant chatter. We do smile sometimes but then I would say 60% of the time we would escape to our own little head, trying to get some rest.

We do not want to ask/order him to shut up because a lot of people warned us not to do that. It would stunted his brain growth, said one. He must be allowed to say his mind or later on he wouldn’t be able to articulate his thoughts at all, said another. Okay, okay. We are listening to all these advice. Okay, we are letting him talk….. But if he ever become a politician, I will put all the blame on my advisors !!

What is on Umar's shoulder ?

We went to our old house yesterday to get the mail. Dan brought the wrong keys and had to climb the fence to have access to the mailbox. As I was laughing and pointing at him, Abang Hassan from next door came to talk to us.

I like our old neighbourhood. The neighbours are friendly and their kids are good influence to my children. We chatted for awhile before Kak Yam, abang Hassan’s wife joined us.

Our kids go to the same school so we meet quite often. Kak Yam told me that Umar is such a busy boy. I was surprised with the remark and asked what she meant by it. Kak Yam said whenever she saw Umar, he would look like he is in deep thoughts. Sometimes, his forehead will be creased, Kak Yam said that depicts deeper thoughts.

“ You have a smart boy there… “ She said. I asked because his forehead is creased all the time ? Yes she said, because he is always thinking. He looked like he has all the problems in the world on his shoulder. That is good ?

At that, Dan smiled. “ Like mother, like son, “ he said. Hmm….

Into my Memory Box

Yesterday was a totally Italian affair for us. Lunch at Italiannies eating marvelous pastas in carbonara and pomodoro sauces. We had warm rosemary bread and fried calamari. At night we had pizza. And at night to Mummy and Babah had diarrhea for some reason.

Anyway, we went to Italiannies at the Curve and I love the Curve’s weekend bazaar. As we trawled the many stalls, we came about a toy’s stall. Hee…… ada aja. Titi saw the many pink bags and wanted one. I steered her view to the cheaper options of stickers and playing cards.

Umar saw Pokemon’s playing cards and grabbed one. It was only RM3 which I find quite cheap. Elsa was already holding a Disney Princess sticker book. I tried to entice her to take a stack of Pokemon playing cards too but she refused. Okay.

In the car, abang was happy reading and scrutinizing his cards and Elsa was flipping her book. Then I saw her tossed her book away. O-oh. “ Mummy, Titi nak card, “ she said, “ Tadi I kata I nak card, not stickers, “ Amboi, pandainya dia nak belit !!

Babah swung around to look at her. She saw Babah’s face and quickly looked away. Then she pushed on her ‘Repeat’ button. “ Please Titi nak card, “ over and over again. When we reminded her that she was the one who wanted the stickers, she blithely ignored it.

When we got home, everybody was in a sour mood. I tried to escape by running upstairs and talking incoherently. I was hiding in the bathroom feigning stomachache when I actually was just reading a book, I heard Dan hollered my name. I flushed, washed my hand a bit and found Umar and Babah at the computer. Babah had scanned and printed a copy of the cards. I was needed to cut them into shape.

Titi held them for about an hour. Then they ceased to interest her anymore. I pick them up one by one and put them in my miscellaneous box. My memory box. I will give this to her when she complains about her kids…..

Aiman pulak

Conversation I had with Umar this morning as I walked him to school.

Umar : Mummy, Aiman kan kat sekolah agama kan is very naughty lah Mummy.

Mummy : Naughty macam mana ?

Umar : He likes to ejek me, calling me names. He said I have bad teeth and I have a girlfriend.

Mummy : Do you have a girlfriend ?

Umar : ( Sighed and rolled his eyes ) No Mum. Dia saja - saja cakap macam tu. I want to tumbuk dia Mum.

Mummy : What ? No ! Never do that. Umar dah tumbuk dia ke ?

Umar : No tapi dia tumbuk Umar.

Mummy : What ? What did your Ustazah do ?

Umar : She was not in class yet at that time. Aiman duduk belakang sekali.

Mummy : And then what happened ?

Umar : I asked Tariq to help me and Tariq pushed Aiman away.

Is there something wrong with my son ? Why does he rub people the wrong way ? Azwan in morning school and Aiman in agama school. I told Dan probably because he talks too much and orang pun naik boring. Dan said because they are jealous of his good looks. I think he is darn handsome because he is my son but I don't think other people share my view.

I just wonder if he started it....

I will call the Ustazah.

Umar’s Predicament

Monday night, we had dinner with Dan’s parents at a restaurant in Shah Alam. My baby Umar was drinking plain water when he made a strangled sound. I looked at him and saw the clear water was tainted with blood. Umar opened his mouth and I saw his tongue was marred with more blood and there was a gap where his loose tooth used to be. Immediately I asked, “ Where is your tooth ? “ He couldn’t articulate a response as he tasted blood and a bit panicky. Dan and I rushed him to the sink and as he spitted and sputtered, there was no sign of the offending molar.

He had swallowed it with his water.

Being a real squeamish person, he was of course feeling quite nauseated with the idea of the tooth in his tummy. Being also told by many many people of his good looks, was very concerned about how he looked.

“ I am not smiling, “ he announced. “ I look funny… “. His Atuk laughed.

He was so upset he slept halfway through the meal. I suppose he thought he wouldn’t have to think of the incident in his head if he slept.

Elsa was having a field day. She kept asking us to show our teeth to check their presence. When satisfied that every tooth was accounted for, she will nod her head and said,” Goooddd……., “ When she came to Umar, she will just shook her head…. He he…

“ I want the tooth Mum…., “ He said, lips jutting out. Kata orang Penang “ dah chom dah….. “ When I asked what for, he said he wanted the money tooth fairy owes him. No tooth, no money. Hai…. Malas dah nak explain about tooth fairy. If he understood the reality of Santa Claus, why is it so hard to comprehend about tooth fairy ? I suspect because of the presence of cold, hard cash.

However, he was worried and I was worried. Worried about the presence of the molar in his tummy. I cooked up a thousand scenarios in my head and he was all queasy about it, both of slept fitfully that night.

Tell me, should I be worried ?