Anak ku yang skema.

Last Friday Umar informed me that the next day, which is a Saturday is Hari Alam Sekitar. He said, ada petandingan melukis dengan tema Hari Alam Sekitar, Mummy. Sebijik-sebijik, okay ?

And then he added,

“Cikgu kata sesiapa yang berminat sila hadir ke sekolah esok pukul 8 pagi… Err… Mummy, saya berminat untuk menyer…ta..i…”

What did Mummy do ? Mummy bantai gelak. Hahahaha. Kah Kah Kah pun ada. HoOhOOOOO ada. I remember there was He he he he even.


He just looked at me, wondering where did he go wrong. Sian anak Mummy. But there was tema, then berminat then…. Tolong ! Tolong !

And I complained his BM is atrocious. Takdak support langsung dari mak yang ini. But I have always liked a good laugh. Nasib baik dia tak selitkan hebat somewhere in the sentences kalau dak perut aku mesti pecah punya.

Mummy should have said, “Baguslah, anak ku. Kita sepatutnya sentiasa aktif menyertai acara-acara di sekolah kerana ia dapat mengeratkan perhubungan dengan kawan-kawan dan menjadikan kita lebih matang. Mummy sungguh berbangga dengan Umar. Tidak sia-sia Mummy melahirkan anak yang sungguh rajin macam Umar ni…”

Warrghhhh ha ha ha ha !

Now I sound bad.
Anyway a few minutes after that I did feel bad because I have an amazing boy, really. Really, Mummy should be more supportive.

Esya and Yana were with us that Friday. They were figthing over a toy and Mummy just let them. Then when it started to get a wee bit serious, Mummy opened up her mouth, “Girls… what is the problem here ?” Had wanted to say some more but my son interjected, “Mum… Let me handle this..” with his palm raised.

“Adik-adik, please compromise okay ? I need you guys to compromise. Mummy is tired so please don’t make noise. Esya bagi Yana main sekejap, ye (tone lower, kinder and sweeter…) after 5 minutes it is your turn, okay (eyes blinking rapidly, smiling kindly…) ?

I held my breath, waiting for Esya’s reaction. I saw her defiant folded arms and 1 mile pout.

“Okaylah !” After like a minute of silence, Esya said it angrily and threw the toy away. Ana happy dapat toy dulu.

He he…. My little lad….

Elsa's trip down memory lane..

It was raining this morning when Elsa put on her shoes for school. She looked up at me and said, “Remember Mummy masa Abah pegi party racing car tu ?”

Emm ? Party racing car.

“Do you remember ? It was malam and raining and then the lights tak ada !” Her eyes round with her remeniscence.

“And then you light the candle and we played Uno and we minum hot tea sebab sujuk….” With that she hugged herself and shivered, to remind me how cold that night was.

I smiled. “Ye ke ?”

“Yes, Mummy…. Lepas tu, sapa menang gama Uno tu ? Yang kita main hari tu masa hujan and Abah pegi party racing car tu ?” She asked.

Aaah…. Such a small girl to be talking about past experiences. I do remember that night. One of my fondest memory with my kids actually. Dan was off to an F1 party and the three of us were without electricity and candles. Luckily I found some nice scented ones for tea lights. The house was awashed with scents of apples as we settled down on the carpet and played Uno. And yes, drank hot tea while waiting for Babah to come and rescue us. Sebab Mummy pun takut….. keh keh…

It was really cosy and we were very much happy playing and talking.

“You lah, baby. You did….” I answered just to make her happy since I, as usual was the one who won. My little girl beamed with pleasure.

What a memory….

Apalah Ana ni !!

Last Friday I came home to a house full of kids. Half an hour later Cik Ta came to pick them all up for Pesta Buku. They came back, jumping out of the car showing their Ana Muslims note books and demanded to be fed.

Uncle Ian wanted to join too so off we went to an undisclosed location (you will know why soon after) for dinner.

In the car Elsa showed her book to Ana. Look Ana, she said. Ana Muslim…

Ana however replied with an angry No !

Babah and I exchanged baffled looks and Elsa must be very puzzled also because she said it again. “Ini kan Ana Muslim …Macam Ana..” This time more gently.

Ana though gave a very forceful No ! And bellowed, “Ana Princess !”

He he…. What a girl, that Ana.

“Okay lah… Ana Princess…” Said Titi good naturedly.

To make her point very clear, Ana started spelling, “S I si S I si..” Then “Err… susah lah nak eja. Ana tahu S I si… Mummy.. macamana nak spell Ana Princess ?”

He he…. Your are funny lah Ana…..

Anyway, she became decidedly not cute while we were there.

The kids played at the playground outside (please take note that the play area was out of the building) and Mummy, Babah and Uncle Ian waited for Uncle Ian’s client to come. Umar came running to us, Ana trailing behind him to inform me that Ana wants to do a wee-wee.

Mummy scooped her up but she instead said she wanted to go home.

“Ana nak pi toilet tak ?”

“Ana nak balik….”

“SO you don’t want to go to the toilet ?”

“Ana nak balik…”

Okay lah, said I. Wait a moment okay sebab Uncle Ian is still eating. Kalau kita balik dia nangis karang, said Mummy. Ana nak tengok Uncle Ian nangis tak ? I asked. She turned around and ran to her siblings. No answer pun.

So I thought she just wanted to go home. Where did this Umar got the story she wanted to wee-wee ?

Not long after that, I promise you it was maybe 30 minutes after that, Uncle Ian’s client came and we left the premise. I scooped Ana up again and made the unpleasant discovery that she was wet. Allahu-Akhbar.

When I asked her earlier, she kept repeating she had wanted to go home, giving no inclination of her wanting to well… you know what now lah. I had no choice but to keep on holding her and tried to put the thought of where she did her deed away.

“Ana duduk dengan Mummy, okay ?”

“Ohh… sebab Ana basah ke Mummy ? Nanti kena kete Abah ?”

Alahai, pandai pun. Then why you did that lah ? Why oh why ? So there we were, Ana and her Mummy, being very wet during the whole ride. Babah was none the wiser. Got home, ran upstairs and took a long hot bath before praying.

Next morning it rained so Mummy heaved a sigh of relief knowing that Ana’s traces at the playground would be washed away.

Alhamdulillah.

I will be armed with pampers in the future, believe you me.

My girl has grown up...

There was no school on Monday for Titi, after her Sports Day.

And as usual, Dan and I didn’t know about it until she mentioned it to us. I don’t remember reading the letter and so Dan and I decided to cruise by the school to see if it is really true. It is not like we don’t trust her… it is just that well…. Last month she announced, on a Friday evening, that her Sports Day was to be that very Sunday. I failed to locate a letter from her school announcing this but since she said it is so, well… there should be one, right ? I mean I did sign a letter confirming our attendance but I didn’t get the date… I knew it was to be on a Sunday.

So we got ready that fated Sunday. The kids tuang their tennis lessons and off we walked to the field. From our house I knew something was not right because it was too quiet and there were no cars obstructing the road.

All was eerily quite. Eerie because it was like 7.30 am and the silence was deafening. There was nobody on the field. Not even butterflies. If we were in a movie, the sounds of crickets will be heard. I of course felt foolish and my brain was trying to spin tales after tales to deflect the blame from me. Actually I would prefer blame than endless ungkitan about this. I do not know why I felt I was the one answerable for this. Sigh... Minah kecik tu dah siap dengan baju sukan last year lagi… keh keh…

But Babah was not satisfied so we went home, took the car and went to inspect the school from the other side. It is not a particularly big school but Babah was insistent. Nada. All was quiet. Tranquil. No sign of activities what-so-ever. Nobody was around korek hidung pun.

Come Monday I asked her teacher, dia bantai gelak kat I. “Tak lah kak. 19 haribulan. Baju sukan pun tak bagi lagi…..” I just grinned because bodoh kan..

Anyway back to present day, we cruised by the school and saw some kiddies in the vicinity playing. But they were there for daycare as the school doubles up as one too. When we passed by, the Bibik was locking the gate and I waved at her.

Dan of course started to menyakat. “Ti ! Sekolah lah Titi ! Tu ada bibik tu !” He turned around then exclaimed, “Eh !” before bursting out laughing..

“Wooii ! Tengok tu… Kurang asam betul. Dia menyorok !” I looked behind and sure enough I saw my daughter’s butt sticking out from the car floor. The rest of her was crouching down on the car mat, lying low.

The sight of her beggers believe. Pandai pulak nak menyorok. Where did she get that idea from ? Not so innocent anymore are you, little one.

When she deemed it was safe enough, she got up with an embarrassed grin and a blushing face.

Ha ha…

Elsa's Sports Day

Sunday was Elsa's Sports Day. She is in the Red House, House of Umar Al-Khattab. How appropriate I think.

The event was very disorganised. Plus, I could smell cat crap no matter where I go. Plus it was hot. Despite all that, I love it.

The air crackeld with excitement, the kids were jumping about and the parents were armed wth cameras and video cams alike.

The kids were cute. I had chosen a few that I had wanted to take home with me, but didn't to avoid lengthy jail sentences. I pointed to each and every little one that took my heart to my husband and he eagerly looked.

We should have another baby really but... well, you know why we are not going that way.

Dan, the naughty boy conveniently pleaded a summon from his parents so he sent us to the event then went off to his parents and therefore missed the speeches. He came back when the kiddies did their dance.

By the way, it is always easier with pictures.

Doing the hokey-pokey. So cute.






She had to participate in the 5 year olds' game as Rumah Merah didn't have enough players. She was chosen for her itty bitty size, I think.






This is her year's game. Running to the obstacle and crouching to wiggle underneath ropes.






There she goes but stopped halfway to rub her eyes.







Jumped on the way back to her mates. Well done !





Mucking about with her brother before her second game, the tepung and the sweets game.





O-oh, some flour entered her eyes and she started crying for her Babah

Luckily she was the last one and the game was already over so we just stopped her from continuing.

Ran to Babah for much needed comforting. If we were in England I could have sued the school for Health and Safety reason, failure to provide goggles where hazardous small particles in involved. But this is Malaysia and my daughter need not be covered in bubble wrap anyway.

Never mind, this would make you tougher I am sure and teach you that it is prudent to close your eyes when there are flour flying about.

Well done, little one.

Reminds me of Umar's Sports Day during his kindie years. It was held at Satdium Bukit Jalil and well organised (I am anal about events going smoothly for some reason. The school was good in organising sure but did not teach my son to read Quran and hafaz surah. Pros and cons of each schools).

Anyway, my darling Umar loves to play. Which kid doesn't yeah but this boy loved it so much that he went twice. Uh-hmmm..... after his turn, he should have gone to the back of the line and put his behind down but instead he went back into the line and went again. By the time the teachers realised it, it was too late and one poor boy did not get his turn at all. At the end of the event, Dan and I swiftly whisked our son away to avoid confrontation with the boy's parents who must have been cursing my son.

Elsa

One day, I was watching the telly with my kids, yeah ? Elsa was lying across my winged chair, her head on one arm rest and her legs was on the other. Suddenly she announced,

“Um… I am the queen today.”

She put her hand out, palm flopped royally and decreed, “Umar, get me some berries…..” Then added, “Or better still… junk food…okay ?”

He he…

Umar of course ignored her.

Ha ha..

Then there was this one time when I had a sudden stomach ache in the car and so needed the loo. We were like half and hour away from home and I was already sweating. When we got home, Dan couldn’t find the keys and was frantically ransacking the car.

I was desperate I tell you. My daughter I think can see my distress, suddenly shouted an advice, “Mummy ! Run around in circles ! Quick ! Run around in circles !”

I forgot my urgency and looked at her.

“Why should I do that ?”

“If you run around in circles you will be better ! I know ! Do it quick !”

“Says who ?”

“I don’t know ! But I know it is going to work ! Cepat lah !!”

Luckily Dan found the keys then and opened the door. I was saved from making the decision to follow her advice or not.

If I did… urrgghh… I don’t think I can hold my head up high in front of my husband anymore.

U-um ! U-um !

Yesterday the kids didn’t go to school. Umar has been coughing throughout the night so it is best if he just stayed home. Elsa seeing that, pleaded exhaustion. I expected nothing less really.

Yyesterday’s episode brought back a memory of not so long ago. Umar was sick, down with a fever. It was bedtime and I was in the room with them.

Titi.. I am tired Ti. Can you please urut me ?, asked my son. I remember a very flushed face. Kesian.

But adik said, I am tired too, Um.

Abang pouted a bit then said good naturedly, It is okay, then. Therefore Mummy went over to him, volunteered her services and gave him a massage to soothe the pain.

While I was doing that he said, “Mummy, don’t wake me up tomorrow okay sebab Umar tak pegi sekolah kan. Elsa saja. I am tired and want to sleep late. I want a good rest. I want to sleep until 9 o’clock baru I feel good.”

Yelah tu Umar. You have never, ever woken up at 9. Hari cuti pun bangun pukul 6, tiba2 nak bangun pukul 9 ?.

Tapi… the next day, memang dia miss Subuh. I let him sleep and he woke up at 7.30, just in time to appease his wailing sister who insisted to see her brother before she goes off.

“Mana U-um, Mummy ?” She demanded.

“U-um tidur Ti.”

“Asyik tidur saja U-um… Nanti will he wait for me at home ?” Lah, where else will he be ? Why are you being so stroppy ?

“Wah ! Wah ! U-um ! U-um ! Wah ! Wah !

Nasib baik I decided to check if Umar was awake. He was and ran down to say goodbye to his little sister when I asked him to. Adik was duly delighted and the waterworks stppoed. Before we left, she warned “Um, nanti saya balik Um kena ada kat rumah tau…”

He he… mana lah Abang tu nak pergi, sayang ?

Ana lagi...

Yesterday, Mummy buka puasa rumah Tok. Cik Yin and Tok pun puasa so Tok said why don’t she cook up a good meal and we all can buka together. So we did but sadly without Babah as he had to go back to work.

Anyway, Umar, Titi and Esya ate with us but Ana as usual wanted to eat and play. So Cik Yin tried to feed Ana from her own plate. She managed about 3-4 feeds before Ana abandoned eating altogether and managed to influence her cousins to play with her.

Hmmm… Ana…

Mummy said, “Ana… you have to eat. Makan ni…..”

She ignored me.

Cik Yin dangled the promises of a surprise (chocolate mousse) and she came for one more bite before running off again.

Hai lah, Ana.

When Mummy was about to go home, Ana ran up to Mummy and demanded to know where Babah is.

“Babah ane ?”

“Babah work lah…”

“Oohh……” She said, nodding her head.

“Awatnya ?” I asked.

“Ana nak makan sandwich. Abah kena bawak Ana….”

Ha ha… Mummy can’t help but laughed. Ana….Why do you only look for Abah to pay for your frivolous demands, eh Ana ?

Abah came home and Mummy warned Abah of what is coming his way.

Abah geleng kepala lah Ana….

But of course Abah didn’t say no. So…. Is Friday night okay ?

Beli jam pun salah..

Sometimes whenever my sister is away or sick, I have to go and pick up my children from school. Looking at the streaming of children passing me, I noticed that most of them have a watch adorning their wrists.

I have bought plenty of watches for my son, but none seemed very eager to stay with him. Luckily they were all the 3 for RM 10 watches.

But still, a waste is waste. 10 sen is still too much money to waste so I stopped buying until I saw how lovely his mates looked with watches on their wrists.

They looked mature, and important and so male.

Umar’s Babah loves watches and I like each and every one that he has. A friend of mine once confessed he is Hantu Tetek… and I was laughing like one big kahuna of a stupid fool when I realised what he really meant. So now I am saying I am Hantu Tangan. Ask Su, my ex-colleague. I love Madonna’s hands, something that she couldn’t understand (PS : Su, kelmarin I was bored to tears so I read all my entries and aku baru perasan hang punya request nak link blog aku kat blog hang… Awat boleh ter-miss. Hang pi link buang tak pa..)

I have again successfully veered off the subject again.

Anyway, Babah and I sneaked out of the house for a relaxed trip to Tesco. Saw watches on the way out and Babah bought two at RM 10 a piece. Kalau hilang aku tak sesak napaih, takpa lah.

They were ecstatic, my two kids. Sayu pulak tengok depa dok terkinja-kinja dapat jam bodoh tu. Awat lah mok yang had ni kejam sungguh. My son looked lovely. He never looked so grown up.

But then regret came soon after because we have to re-set their watches whenever they watch the telly or enter the cars. Jadik satu hai pulak motokar Mummy lain time, motokar Babah lain time and motokor Atuk pun lain.

Waaa !! Tension.

Anyway, the very first night Elsa had hers, I was fastening it on her wrist after her bath when she said, “Mummy, now is 7.30 Mummy (I just picked the number out from air. I have forgotten the exact time)”.

“Okay…”

“So what now ?”

“Ha ?”

“So what is happening now ? What does it mean ?”

“Erm…. What ?”

“So what is happening at 7.30 ? What does it mean ?”

“It means it is 7.30 ?”

“But why ?”

Apa ni ? Why what ?

“Why I need to know it is 7.30 ?” She insisted.

“Err… so you can tell that in a little while it will be 7.31 ?”

“So what is happening at 7.31 ? What ?”

I could sense a debate is brewing. So I just answered “So you know when you have to sleep. Now you have 2 hours to spend before you go to bed…”

She looked disappointed upon hearing my answer. What does she wants to know really ?

Bangau oh bangau...

Don’t know if you guys noticed the bangaus at seksyen 6. I don’t know if bangaus are indeed cranes or actually if those birds are really bangaus but have you guys noticed big white birds around seksyen 6, 4 and 3 ?

We first saw it when we had a walk around seksyen 4 then stopped for drinks at the 7-11 in seksyen 6.

Then once I was driving from seksyen 9, on the road to seksyen 3 with the pasar on my right, a big, white bird flew in front of the car, causing my kids to scream in horror than in delight and me almost in cardiac arrest.

“Crane ! Crane !”

Well, it did look like a crane with long pointy beak.

Where do they come from really as I thought they like water and there is no water source in seksyen 6. They should really be flying around the tasik but it seems that they prefer the big drain near the pasar.

Anyway, two days ago we passed seksyen 6 and sure enough some of the birds where standing in the drain, doing God knows what when Umar said,

“The cranes suka sangat basuh kaki kat situ kan, Mummy ? They really like to wash their feet, kan ?”

He he…. Is that what they are doing there, baby ? Basuh kaki ?

Kah ! Kah !

Silly old, Umar.

PS : Ye ke, ha ? I have zero knowledge of birds.

PS: Yesterday went to pasar malam and one flew over our heads. Truly majestic. Should have had my camera with me.

Hai lah....

My daughter is very merepek. Full stop.

All week she called me Sexy Pants. When I finally got tired of her ignoring my “Tak elok cakap macam tu, Elsa !” I asked her what Sexy Pants meant. Big mistake as she raised her eyebrows and said, “Sexy !!” and wriggled her bum.

I let her go after that, migraine creeping up.

She came to me yesterday and said, “Oh, I love you, baby !” while hugging me. I just shook my head, wondering where I went wrong. Especially since she goes to a Pre-Tahfiz kindy. Dan once commented, “You betul ke hantar dia pegi sekolah agama ni ?” Well, last time I checked, which was that morning when I dropped her off to school, yes !

Once while we were saying goodbye to Amir and Amelia, she gave them a mock tearful goodbye, completed with sobs and semi-hysterical cryings.

“Itu lah, Melia. I ingat I gave birth to a daughter, rupanya clown yang keluaq…”

Amir upon hearing that chuckled and said to his Ibu, “Ha ha… Aunty kata Elsa bukannya budak tapi clown…” He he… Comel lah Amir ni…. Pandai pun.

Once Dan took Umar to the loo and she was upset because she can’t go with them. Upon their return, she yelled, in public, “Look Mummy ! There’s your husband !! Look !!” People looked too because they either thought, I have remarried and Dan is not Elsa’s father or my husband had done a runner and we had finally caught him.

So yesterday in the car, she said something totally inappropriate while dancing to Second Hand Serenade. I commanded in a no nonsense tone, “Stop being so merepek, Elsa !!”

And she replied, “But Mummy I can’t !! Because it is all in my brain !!”, never once breaking off from her groove.

Oh man….

Anna being stroppy...

Yesterday Babah swung by Tok's house after our trip to Puchong (bought replacement sink and stand) for a second round of birthday cake.

Babah could only manage half as Tok Mi kept the durians given by Nenek in the fridge, next to the cake. So the cake had a tinge of durian in it.

Then Babah took out ice-cream from the freezer, from the day's before party too. Mummy just sat in front of him, looking at him eat. Then saw Anna, climbing down the stairs, with some sleep still left in her.

She got down the last step, Mummy opened her arms wide and Anna climbed up her lap. She snuggled close, resting her cheeks on Mummy's bosom.

Mummy sang, and kissed her repeatedly, and talked gibberish.

She then went, "Uhh..." Signalling Mummy to be quiet.

Okay lah.

She remained there for awhile before saying, "Anna nak naik atash...." to where her cousins and her sister were. I put her down and she looked at me with this one look then stomped up the stairs.

He he.... she was expecting me to dukung lah tu.... Tak nak.... ada kaki jalan.... Keh keh....

Then we heard her announced, "Ayah demam. Semalam ayah main hujan... Jangan bising...." Amboi... Suara dia melalak 1 minute after that tak pe...

He he...

Elsa.....

Yesterday I sent my kids home from school as my sister was yet again, down with asthma. Watched them eat, talked to them a bit then I started collecting my stuffs and wearing my tudung again to go back to work.

My children, by then were already upstairs for their bath. Suddenly I heard the loudest most terrifying sound of something crashing and breaking, then Neti’s “Ya Allah !”

I sprang upstairs and saw my son hugging his sister, who looked dazed and confused. Looked inside the bathroom and saw the sink on the floor, smashed.

Then my daughter started crying. I grabbed her and did a once over, looking for cuts or bruises or whatever. I was in panic and was trying my darnest to stay calm.

“Mummy, will she be in trouble ? Is she in trouble ?” Asked the Abang.

“What happened, Ti ?”

“I don’t know….” Answered my teary eyed daughter. I hugged her, relieved as I saw the jagged and very pointy edges of the broken ceramic.

“You are not angry at her ? She is not in trouble ?” Asked Abang again.

I shook my head.

“Yeay, Titi ! Mummy said she is not angry. You are okay, kan ? You can stop crying now…” Abang held her tightly.

As I entered the car, I heard Elsa sobbing, “Please don’t tell Babah …..”. Saw her dok sebek by the window. Hai…..

I don’t know why I was so quiet. My head seems to be disconnected from my mouth as I had a million questions to ask but none materialised. I put on my tudung and drove to work, very much detached from the situation.

Dah sampai office, baru nak ketaq. Baru nak call Dan.

When I got home after work, she was okay, she was fine, jumping around. But as I lay on the sofa, she came to me, head on my shoulder and after awhile she was asleep. Babah came home, checked the damage and agreed that all that matters is that the little one is safe.

We went out that night, it was after all Babah’s birthday but sans the kiddies as they have mengaji. Came back but she was already asleep.

She didn’t go to school today, shock induced fever I think and Abang wants to be with her. So takpelah. With H1N1 (HOne NOne – I call it hone none – Malay pronunciation, okay ?) around, may be it is a wise decision.

Still have to make sure that she is okay.

Sugus and The Dancing Crowd

One day, Mummy was beleking the food on display at a cashier and decided to try Sugus’ new … errmm….what do you call it ? Fruit pastel, I think ? You know the jelly like fruit flavoured, like gummy bears.

Anyway, bought one and showed it to my kids.

They were excited (kesian, I hardly ever layan them in that department) and I quickly popped one while backing out of the parking space.

Suddenly,

“Mummy ! Jangan makan while you drive. Nanti you want to dance !”

Ha ?

“Oh no, Mummy ! You cannot drive while you dance !! Stop eating ! Spit it out ! Spit it out !”

Punya lah terkejut, nasib baik tak brake.

Looked at Umar for comprehension and he just looked at me with wide eyes.

“What are you talking about ?”

“Kan dekat tv tu bila dia makan dia ramai-ramai dancing – dancing !” Explained my still horrified daughter.

And I laughed when the telly advert for the sweet that I am eating played in my head.

He he…..

You know which one I am talking about ?

The advertisement controversy

Mummy and Babah took Umar and Elsa to watch Transformers yesterday.

While waiting for the movie to start, we allowed ourselves to be influenced by the media.

The first advertisement we saw was pretty scary. It showed 3 beautiful people (they cannot possibly exist due to extreme beauty) clad in black, looking calmly and resolutely at these horrific monsters in white, caked with white flaky substance. The monsters were dancing menacingly on strands of hair and once one rub his arm to release white flakes. Macam snow berterbangan. The 3 heroes (yelah selalunya dah handsome-handsome, lawa-lawa mesti hero punya) gave a little smile, very much undaunted, every hair still very much in place.

It is quite scary, really. The white monsters, all flaky with yellow eyes, smiling evilly.

My scalp started to itch because seriously by then you already figured out those white monsters are dandruffs.

Arrows appeared out of nowhere and these 3 fired it coolly, again with hair and baju all in place, without a sweat killing the dancing kelemumurs.

My scalp itches some more and wanted that particular shampoo that those 3 beauties miraculously turned into.

“That is iklan to buy shampoo ?” Asked my son, face screwed.

“Why so scary ?” he asked again, both palms up.

“If they want to make people to buy their shampoo kan, Mummy they have to make us feel good..” He looked at me, frowning.

“How ?” I challenged him.

“Well… with smiling people, singing… Sunshine……Nice hair… That can make people happy enough to buy shampoo. This one is scary ! Nobody wants to buy their shampoo…” He said, shaking his head, all superior.

Really ? It seems to work for me as kepala aku tetiba gatai ni. Satgi nak pi beli shampoo yang had tu jugak ….. He he.

Beer advertisement came on.

3 men (again, so beautiful) appeared to be stranded on an inhibited island, shouting happily at a helicopter hovering near. They were puzzled when the heli flew away but then it came back with crates of beer and dropped it near them.

The boys frowned beautifully.

Then the heli was back and dropped off a shed, and soon the island turned into a resort with beautiful girls serving beer. A party was on. The boys were oh so happy, drinking and flirting with the girls.

“What is this ?” Asked the beautiful boy next to me.

“I don’t understand, Mummy. They should ask the helicopter to take them home. Bukannya bagi air. Now they are still stuck there !” Palms up again, brows furrowed deeper. You are so gonna get wrinkles early, sonny.

I don’t understand…” He repeated again.

Then, “Must be one hell of a drink, eh Mummy ?”

Ha ha ha ha ha !!!

Punya lah gelak lupa nak habaq ayaq tu ayaq kencing setan…

Habis lah Mummy

Ooo-oohh…. Terrible news. Auta aku dah tak menjadi dah. I use them too much probably so my children are immune to it by now.

I had breakfast with Dan and Elsa yesterday. We were to pick up my car from Segambut so we had to go to the office late. Plus mechanic didn’t want to keep the car due to space constraint and insisted we pick it up pronto. Makan dulu sebelum pergi.

Elsa asked for nasi lemak and drumstick. When she got up to wash her hands I noticed there were still plenty of nasi in her plate.

“Oii…. Tu … nasi tu tak habis. Nanti nasi cry…..” Said I.

You know what she did ? She rolled her eyes, looked at me squarely and gave a determined “Tak !”

Errrkkk ! Foolishly I had nothing to say.

So tell me, how can a mother survives without her autas ?

Doa Elsa

A few days ago, I lectured my children on lying.

“Lying is blah, blah…. Orang yang jahat saja yang suka menipu… Allah doesn’t like liars and if you die a liar, Allah will cut your tongue and humban masuk neraka.. Nag, nag, nag….”

Took a deep breath and continued, “If you lie and got away with it, it doesn’t mean Allah will let you go. Allah knows all and he is very fair… blah, blah, blah… If you lie, you could be put to jail and when you die, kena lagi. Dah lah masuk jail,pastu masuk neraka pulak tu…..”

Then, “Ishh.... itu tak cukup doa lah, Mummy..” Said my daughter, looking at the scenery outside.

“Hmmm ?”

“Iye, orang macam tu dia tak cukup doa…Okay, let me teach you something, okay ?” She twisted her body to face me.

“Macam ni… I know a doa that can get us to syurga. You listen carefully okay ? Allahuma ajirna minnannar…” she said, eyes never leaving my face.

“You got that, Mummy ? You know, now ? Kalau kita baca doa tu, we will not go to neraka….” Terangguk – angguk kepala bercerita.

He he…. “But Elsa, if you baca that doa repeatedly but still lie, and steal and talk bad about other people, you will still go to neraka… You cannot baca that doa everytime after you do bad things, hoping it will be a free ticket to go to syurga….”

“Hmm…..Really, mummy ?” She said, eyes screwed. nI left things at that, with her hand supporting her chin in deep thought.

Keh keh…

This other conversation between my daughter and I happened on our way to buy groceries. I had forgotten my list as usual and to avoid forgetting the ingredients for dinner, instructed Umar to remember potatoes and Elsa to remember broccoli.

About 5 minutes to the shop, I tested them on their memory. Umar did well but my daughter went, “Errmmm……….” grinning at me. “What is it, Elsa ? What is it you suppose to remember ?”

“Food ?” She tried.

“Of course it is food, but what kind ?”

“Ummm….. Ahhh…. Errmmmm”

‘Broccoli, lah….”

Baru 5 minit, dah lupa… Tak boleh nak marah. Macam maknya… Keh keh

Kawan Mummy muka Jawa..

This story was told by my friend, Mashar during our Class S4 reunion.

“Myra ! Anak ko kan pandai betullah.. Mentang – mentang muka aku jawa, dia cakap Melayu dengan aku. Ngan orang lain speaking. Bila dengan aku, “Abang… boleh tak Abang tolong saya ambil barang ?” Bila aku balas dengan speaking balik, baru dia “Uncle, uncle…” Apa, ingat aku tak tau cakap orang putih ke ?”

Keh keh… Sorry le, Mashar. Part tu aku tak leh tolong…..

This other story was told by Amelia when we went jogging on Friday. She said during our last gathering at the house, the kaum bapa were sitting outside, chatting and minding the children playing.

Umar… alahai Umar ku… Umar announced to his friends, “Mari kita menembak bola !” which is a direct translation of ‘Let’s shoot the ball ..’

From the patio, Sheik corrected him, “Mari kita menendang bola….”

He he… thank you for helping me to raise my son. Need all the help I can get…

Elsa

Two or three nights ago we were in the car, searching for dinner. The little girl sat behind me. At one point, unbuckled her seat belt and hugged the back of my seat.

“Mummy… are you already old ?” She asked, caressing my face from behind. I am used to this question because I kept giving them me being old as excuses not to cook, or play or dukung. He he…. So I thought nothing of it and answered in the affirmative.

“Why ?” I asked.

“Because your skin doesn’t look nice. It looks old… Macam dah tua…”

Oh bengkek yang membuak-buak. I turned to Abah and exclaimed, “Why she never say stuffs like this to you ?” Abah gave a part guilty and a part amused smile. But the one that made me blood go upstairs was a chuckle from behind.

Looked at the source and saw him smiled happily.

They don’t love me anymore.

Waaa…….


Yesterday as I was lying in bed, waiting for Abah to clip his nails, Elsa came to me and said, “Hear this, Mummy. Hear this. Sponge Bob kan cakap ‘I adoooore you….’”, blinking her eyes away.

Lawak lah budak kecik ni.

“What does it mean, this ‘I adore you’” asked me.

Without missing a beat, she lowered her voice, lowered her eyelids and replied, “Cintaku, saya sayang…..”

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !

I rolled to the left and right then right again. Tipped my head up and laughter came from my belly. Babah smiled in amusement, shook his head and looked at me. I know he is not used to this kind of merepekness, so looked at me for help.

I gave him a silent order to just enjoy her, every side of her. She was embarrassed too, seeing me laugh like that. To cover up, she tickled me all over. Tickling my waist, my sole, my neck. He he..

After I recovered, I told her, “Jangan cakap merepek-repek sangat, Elsa. Some people might like it, some won’t. You have to learn to watch what comes out of your mouth…” She just shrugged her shoulders.

I have my work cut out for me.

But still.. it was funny, wasn’t it ?

Birthday talks with Elsa Rashdan

“Mummy… is your birthday next week ?” Asked my daughter suddenly as we lazed on the bed. She sat up from her reclining position.

“Yes..”

“Okay, I am giving you a surprise birthday party okay ? Dahlya can do the cake. Jazmyn can do the sweets and candies. Pastu Umar can do the decoration. Abah can do the burgers and I will do the card. It is going to be sooo beautiful, Mummy… the card… It is going to have pink glitter and heart shapes with Happy Birthday, Mummy. I love you..”

Hmm….

“So… everybody else will be in charge of all the hard work, you will only be doing the card ?”

She pondered this question for a bit before answering, “Oh… making the card is susah, Mummy ! Really ! Because it is going to be beautiful….”

Suka hati ko lah, nak.

She talked about birthdays to her Wan Su also (Maksu aku memang tak aci sikit… Orang lain semua Opah, dia Wan Su… macam nama orang je… keh keh..).

“Wan… After Mummy’s birthday kan is Abah’s birthday. Abah’s birthday is in July. I am going to give Abah a surprise birthday party !” She announced importantly. I can imagine her saying it so I know she did it with great importance. He he

“Oh… ?” Maksu aku ni pun kuat mengusik. “Wan punya birthday pun in July jugak…..”

“Okay !… Then I will give you a surprise birthday party, too. There will be a cake and people will say SURPRISE to you and Abah…” Great planner, this one.

“But if you tell me now, it won’t be a surprise anymore, kan ?” Reasoned Wan Su.

My daughter was stumped for answer this time. She went quiet, then turned around and left the room !

Hai lah….. Kah kah kah !!