I AM GOING !

Going down this morning, I heard Adik crying.

Eeeeii….

Abang was pacing the kitchen and she was tearfully following her brother, at one point trying to get hold of his shirt.

“What is wrong ni ?”

“Adik ni… Dia kata dia tak nak saya so saya nak pergi lah ! I am running away !”

“Abang… janganlah… I’m sorry !! Please don’t go anywhere….” She cried.

“Welll…. You said you don’t like me lah, you don’t want me here lah.. So okay lah. I AM going !”

Adik wailed louder, trying to grasp a bit of him.

He hehehehehehe….

Abang dengan sombongnya stropped around the kitchen, arms folded, head high.

“I am so sorry Abang… Please don’t go….”

Ya Allah siannya… Abang had started leaving trail tracks from his pacings.

“No… I want to go !” He insisted forcefully.

Hmm… Sombongnya….. I have to put a stop to that.

“Okay lah… you really want to go ? I sned you now lah. Have you packed your bags?”

Tersentak jugak dia. He then smiled sheepishly and said, “Takde lah.. saya saje je….”

Tahu pun. There is a limit to everything. Even when teaching your sister.

Pergaduhan besaq dalam kete

On the way home from lunch, Abang and Adik were bickering from the back seat.

“You ripped my book ! You always rips my books !”

“Mana ada !” This came from Adik.

“I think you have ripped 9 of my books !!”

“You ripped my books too !”

“What ? Okay … maybe like one…. But you ripped 9 of my books already !”

“No ! You ripped like 7 of my books !”

“Tak ! Tipu ! Mana ada !”

“Okay… okay… maybe not 9, but Abang ada ripped my books !”

“Yeah.. like one ! You ripped 9 !” He roared. Babah and Mummy just listened from our seats.

“I like ripping books….” Was the very, very berani mati admission.

He he… Babah and Mummy sniggered quietly.

“You do ? You are terrible ! TERRIBLE ! You have been ripping my books for years ! YEARS !!”

“But Abang….” the little girl protested. “I am only 6 years old !”

He he… aduhai lah… Good point actually.

“Well… you have been ripping my books for 6 years !”

Ha ha… I cannot take it. I want to laugh out loud.

“Abang… it is only a book. What is the matter ?”

“Only books ? Only ? Books are knowledge !”

Amboi ! Books are knowledge konon. The said ripped book is a Pokemon book, okay. Knowledge apa buku tu bagi. Melampau sungguh si Abang ni.

“Well…. I happen to like ripping books… It has a raspberry feeling to it…” Came the very, very berlagak reply. Babah couldn’t understand what she meant by it and inadvertantly broke the fight by asking, “What did she say, Abang ? What does that mean ?”

Dah keluaq sora Babah of course le budak-budak tu teruih sengap.

Damn it. I was so looking forward to hear what they were gonna come up next.

Sigh……..

Sejak bila toyol cenggini ?

“Mummy…. Kenapa polis nak tangkap ?” Asked Ana one day while we were travelling in the car, on the way home form dinner.

“Sebab kalau kita evil step-mother, polis tangkaplah… Kalau kita jadi Cinderella polis tak tangkap.. So Ana kena jadi Cinderella okay ? Cinderella dia sweet sweet macam ni….” And I fluttered my eyelashe away. Gelak dia… ha ha….

“Ko ni… jangan dok cakap sangat pasal evil step-mother…kang kalau ayah dia nak kawin lain nanti, payah…..” My mom admonished. Aiseh… kacau lah…

Anyway.. sapa bagi ayah dia kawin lain ?

SO dah mak aku decreed kat belakang, I have to comply. So aku ubah taktik.. “Ana jangan jadi toyol, okay ?”

“Toyol ? Toyol baiklah Mummy sebab dia baby …” She said, berkerut-kerut muka. He he…. Ye ke ?

“Then, kenapa toyol colour green ? Mana ada baby colour green ?”

“Bukan green lah, Mummy… blue….”

Blue ? Version apa ni ? Smurf ke ?

“Lepas tu dia punya zip warna yellow…”

He ? Zip ? Yellow zipper ?

Err… kita citer apa ni Ana ?

Ha ha………..

Grey kitten yang tak mo makan...

Mummy didn’t get to see her babies when she got home. Babah fetched Mummy at Mutiara Damansara with the kids sure, but both of them were snoring and sprawled 49 ways in the car. Ha ha…..

Adik woke up a bit though and upon seeing me she wanted to climb on my lap of course but Mummy’s lap was supporting Abang’s huge legs and there were no space. So Adik who was sitting at the front seat curled on the chair with her head facing the back seat so she can see her Mammy.

Bless…

Anyway, come morning Mummy was woken up by thunderous footsteps coming towards her. Her babies jumped on the bed with so much joy, her heart swelled with pride.

“G bagi the Persians minum tak ?” Mummy asked.

“Bagi….” Answered Adik as she snuggled close to me. Abang couldn’t get close to me on account of Adik, so he positioned himself across the pillows so his head met mine.

“Tapi kan Mummy… the grey one macam tak nak makan…. He doesn’t want to feed….” Abang reported.

“Why ?”

“Sebab yang orange tu ganas sangat… Dia suka saja tolak-tolak… !”

“Oh ? Sian…..” What else could I say ? Yang orange tu memang terrorist sikit.

“I know what !” Adik announced suddenly, and just as sudden she sat upright. “I will draw boobs here…..” she indicated the length of her chest to her abdomen, “8 of them and then I will go Meow Meow and then the grey kitten can drink lah… Sebab takde orang berebut !”

Her face was so animated, and so very proud of herself for thinking something so clever, I fully expected her to say “Eureka !”

Comellah ko ni……

Nak lukis boobs konon… Ha ha…

Diva mulut becok, Adik dan sahabatnya A...

Okay…. Hangpa tau aku sakit kan ?

So bayangkan lah betapa bertambah sakitnya aku when Adik came home and announced, “Mummy….Mak A sakit jantung. A kan cakap kan nanti kan mak dia mati lepas masuk hospital…”

Oh tak terkejutkah anda especially bila mak si A ini adalah DR, kawan baru ku yang I lap u so much forever and ever walau baru kenai ?

So tanpa membuang masa, I grabbed my trusted mobile and called her. No answer.

In my head, minah tu adalah dalam hospital sebab tu tak jawab. I imagined her hooked up on monitors in a CCU (since I already know what that looked like when visiting my mom), anak-anak meraung tepi katei and doctor dok keluaq masuk keluaq masuk.

Meremang bulu roma.

Aku sambung soal Adik lagi and she repeated her story.

Sapa tak panic ? Sapa ?

Kamil also got drawn into the drama as upon his return I pounced on him with the story.

Call husband dia, suggested my hubby. Alas, mana aku ada nomor En A itu ?

Pastu aku call bespren dia, SA aka Bob. Tak jawab pulak.

Ikhtiar terakhir, call our mutual friend, K. K kata she knows another of DR’s number so I left her to it.

“Ntah-ntah Kamil, si A dengan adik-beradik dia buat bising kot pastu si DR berlakon sakit jantung….” Well you know, something that I myself have done many, many times. Dan untuk kesekian kalinya I asked Adik to repeat her story. Macam real je dia bercerita, dengan gigi rongak kat depan.

This time around I asked, A looked worried ? Is a sad ? Is AJ (abang si A) sad ?

“Oh Mummy… tadi masa kat sekolah AJ dengan kawan dia nama K kan ejek saya so saya kejar dia orang….” Hmmm……….. that doesn’t look like somebody that is worried about his Mum is, it ? So maybe tak de apa-apa… But …. The boy is 9…. Namanya budak-budak kan ? They forget easily…… Anyway, I have never seen a 9 year old yang dok termenung, what more a 9 year old boy. Kalau little girls tu possibly….

Hmmm………

So we wait and I fretted and continued concocting a million devastating sceneries in my head.

Until K sms-ed to say, well I was right ! Itu semua lakonan ibunda untuk mendisiplinkan anak-anak ! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA !

Phewwwwhh…. Lega.

Moral of the story ?

Adik and A, please pandang depan and concentrate cikgu dok ajaq apa. Not echanging stories and leaving a trail of kekecohan on your wake.

Hmmm…………………

Biskut

This morning a little boy told me, “You know dekat sekolah Adik ada budak yang akhlak dia sangat buruk…”

Fuu-yoh… Akhlak buruk ? He he…

“Sapa ?”

“It’s her friend, H… Just now Adik told me she likes to take Adik’s food ! So Adik selalu go hungry !” He spoke with sooo much feeling, his fists was clenched.

Well this is not new to me. Adik complained about H once and to solve her problem, I packed in more food enough to share.

It doesn’t seem like it is working from the sound of it.

“I told her to stop giving her food buuuttt… H tu ingat dia boss kat sekolah tu so nanti dia merajuk saja….” Abang habih geram. Dengan memek muka, dengan nada suara…marah betul lah tu.

“But I told Adik to ignore her Mummy… Adik cannot give her food anymore and marah budak tu balik…”

I didn’t say anything because in my head I was thinking, “Bukan budak ni ke minggu lepas menangis (Yes…. Cried one) sebab kawan-kawan suka makan bekal dia ?”

Really… tak tipu !

Last week Abang whined, sambil tu ayaq mata dok keluaq “Mummy… I am so hungry ! Because kan my friends like to eat my food… ! Tadi kan saya punya makanan kan tinggal satu aje….”

“He he… ye ke…. ?”

“Iya…. “ Masa ni dah start wiping away his tears dah. “Sampai saya hungry ni !”

“Never mind, once in a while kan…”

“Taakkk…. They always take my food. Saya selalu dapat makan satu saja…. “ Because they have heavy breakfasts, my children only take biscuits to school.

“Oh… ye ke ?”

“Yes….. They usually bring money kan and then they always beli nasi lemak lah apa lah… but they always eat my food….”

“He he………. Maybe they take your biscuits as desserts kot ?” I said, mentally reminding myself to pack in more biccies in his box tomorrow.

“Errm…. Mummy can you take me to Tok Mi’s shop ? Saya teringing lah nak makan nasi lemak… Sedap dekat kedai Tok Mi….” he asked while wiping his huge eyes that right then looked so adorable and innocent what with the huge size and its watery condition… Macam Bambi.

Awww………..

Lupa dah pasal kawan kebas biskut at the prospect of nasi lemak.

Apalah Abang ni.

Prove It !

“I am useless, Abang !” Adik announced with a sad pout. She was sitting cross legged in front of the Monopoly board but when she made her very tragic announcement, she stood on her knees.

Sigh… Menyesal rasanya beli. Abang had his Hari Sukan on Saturday and when I went to pick him up, he begged for a game of Monopoly at RM 15. I thought it costs about RM 100 to RM 200 ? Curious I went to check it out and it was indeed RM 15.

Considering it was sooo cheap, I let him talked me into buying one, the reason it was cheap because it was a fake didn’t cross my mind at all. Who knew there were counterfeit Monopoly ?

Anyway, they spent their time playing it and it was like their 3rd game when Adik gave up.

“No… you are not useless… Don’t say that…” Abang pujuk sambil bangun to pick up apa benda ntah yang Adik campak in frustration.

“No ! I am useless !!”

“No, no… don’t say that, okay ?” Said Abang, with his saccharine sweet smile and kind face which comes out during critical times.

“But… you said I’m useless …”

‘What ? No I didn’t !” He protested.

“Yes ! You did. Hari tu … you said I’m useless !”

He he…. Agaknya dia dah teringat kot so he glanced at me worriedly. I in turn looked away, pretending to be busy inspecting my nails.

“No…. I didn’t… mana ada…. I never said that…..” Fuuhh.. smooth talker. Cakap sikit punya lembut.

“Prove it..” Adik responded.

Ha ? Bukan sahaja Abang Ha.. Mummy pun Ha sekali.

“Prove to me that you never said that….!”

Eh ? I looked at Abang. His face was perplexed, mind racing on how to give Adik what she wants, because Mummy was nearby and withing striking and nagging distance.

“I never said that. I don’t remember at all !”

“Prove it !” She challenged again.

“Mana ada…. Okay.. let’s forget it okay and I will help you okay ? Adik pandai main… okay ?”

Heh… Terer jugak mamat ni.

Abang's Field Trip

“Mummy… cikgu cakap kita boleh bawak barang berharga for this trip…” Abang announced like for the 20th time.

And for the 20th time I asked, “Like what ?”

Abang is scheduled to go for a field trip to Pusat Sains Negara. He talked non-stop about it and everyday he came back with pieces of news about the trip.

But he made references about the barang berharga frequently.

‘Entah lah….” He said, shrugging his shoulders, trying to look nonchalant.

“Cikgu hang nak hang pakai berlian Mummy ke masa trip tu ? Itu barang berharga lah tu…”

He he…..saja je. I need to shock him a bit before I can wheedle out his real menaing behind barang berharga tu.

“Mummy !! No lah !!... Barang berharga maksudnya Gameboy and benda-benda macam tu lah…”

Aaah…itulah sebenarnya…

Of course le Mak tak bagi. Mintak maap ye. One of the best things about going on a field trip is the bus ride. Enjoy that. You will miss it if your eyes are glued to the Gameboy.

Anyway, I picked him up and helped sent his best friend A home. I have met A a few times but had never conversed with him.

Rupanya, patut le depa best friend. Sebijik macam Abang and their other best friend D.

“Is this your mother, Abang ?” He asked, finger pointing at me.

Amboi haii…. Cute huh ?

Anyway, in the car I asked about their day.

“Ooh…. We had loads of fun…. We saw a lot of inventions !” A offered in perfect English. And then both of them fought to tell me the best bits of the trip.

Then A pointed to Abang’s chest where a huge badge was pinned on his pocket. I noticed that earlier because none of his friends had it on them.

“Abang got this because he answered a question during the science show…”

Very typical of him. I expected nothing less. Dia ni memang suka menyerah diri.

“But…. He he… I think he changed his mind because when he stood up he looked like he wanted to cry….” A revealed some more.

“Really Abang ? Why lah ?” I asked with a laugh.

‘Because macam ada ramai orang …tiba-tiba I got embarrassed !”

He he….

Abang's Sports Day

For the last 3 weeks, Abang’s school stopped their co-curricular activities, replacing them with sports practice and preparations.

When I picked up Abang last week he was in a jovial mood.

“Mummy… kalau hari sukan kan, kita ada mascot… A mascot is … blah blah blah (explaining apa kemendanya mascot untuk mak dia yang tak pi sekolah ni…). So kan… Mummy I have a secret ! He he… I was helping the teachers and the girls buat the mascot and you know what…. Teacher said our rumah merah punya mascot is Iron Man. HAHAHAH… Tapi sebenarnya kan, lady bird !!! They don’t want to tell the budak-budak laki takut budak-budak laki tak nak pakai ….”

He he…. Mummy pun gelak gak…. Tapi kan.. err… aren’t you one of the boys too ? But then never mind, probably he wouldn’t be the one wearing the costume. Until on the day of the sukan itself and I saw him in this,

Err… hehehehehehhe…..

But kan… Errrmmm.………. Ini ladybird ? Ada antenna tu ? Lady bird ada antenna ke ? Ada ke ? Ye ke ? Ini bukan butterfly ?

Aiseh...

Gini ceritanya.

CT sms-ed Mummy reminding her to pick Abang from school.

Okaylah. 1pm Mummy tagged out, drove to the school and parked her car.

Read her book awhile, air-cond blasting right on her face because the day was too damn hot.

1.22pm Mummy got out of the car and joined a regular mother who waits for her child below a very shady tree. Usually there where the three of them but today she was alone. Chatted until she saw her son and they parted ways.

It was already 1.40 and Mummy’s boy tak keluar-keluar lagi.

As usual Mummy panicked and started to thump her feet.

She looked intently at the small side gate, willing for her boy to come out, hoping the next student to emerge from the school belongs to her.

Nada.

She tried picturing Abang that very morning. Strangely she can’t. She kept seeing him wrapped in a towel.

She looked again but her son’s face eluded her vision.

And she still failed to conjure up the image of Abang in his uniform from the morning.

Then…

Oooohhh………..

She turned around, mightily embarrassed I might add, to get to her car.

The friend she said goodbye to not 5-10 minutes ago was just about to motor her car out of the carpark. Mummy ducked and hid behind a tree.

When the coast is clear, she ran to the car, hoping other parents would not wonder why she is alone.

At her car, she saw her son’s classmate waiting for his parent.

“D… Abang datang sekolah tak hari ni ?” Mulut gatai. But really just wanna make sure.

D frowned and looked at her as though she is crazy. He then shook his head, the cue for Mummy to quickly jump into the car and roar her way out of her humiliation.

She went home just to make sure that her beloved Abang is indeed safe and well.

“Abang !” She yelled as soon as she entered the house.

Abang came running with his palm up and scrunched. His face was messy with lunch. He never looked so beautiful.

“What ?? What is wrong ?”

“I went to pick you up at school….” Was the sheepish reply.

He tercengang a bit, face wondering before he finally got the full picture. He smiled and laughed.

“Mummy ni……”

Yeah…. Hai…… Mummy ni…..

That is the question... Not the Hamlet kind though...

Rupanya, membaca juga boleh membawa kepada kesusahan..... Maybe I should vet the newspapers first before he reads them ?

-

I found quite a lot of mothers lamenting about their children talking or asking about sex.. or things that associated with sex. I have written this entry like 2 weeks before, left it hanging for some reason, and now well…. just to let the mothers out there know that I have not been spared from this predicament too.

*Neither did my dad. I once asked him what a virgin means, after listening to good ol’ Madonna, the robber of innocence. His stunned face and very rigid head shake made me reached for my dictionary. Ha….. but it didn’t properly satisfy my curiosity though. Dictionary.. I should have reached for the encyclopaedia… Although do not think the Children’s Encyclopaedia Britannica would want to discuss the topic much, or indeed at all.

In my observation, nowadays children are exposed to sex at a very young age. Once, we opened the door to our room to see Abang and Adik playing Wii. “Were you guys having sex ?” Abang asked dengan selamba badaknya, his concentration on the game did not waver at all, like he just asked us “Were you guys shampooing your hair ?”

Ha…. Saja nak kena belasah.

“Where did you learn to ask us that ?”

“Friends….” Was the teary replied.

Just to let you know, Friends as in Monica and Chandler and Ross and Pheobe and Rachel and Joey have been banned. For 1 day. Because Mummy cannot live without her repeats of Friends.

Well you see there is no point banning Friends because other shows talked about sex too. And for some reason, yeah it is a very beguiling subject to children.

Well probably because it is talked about with hushed tones, or it is usually implied instead of spoken out loud. So I think that piqued their interest more than anything. You know how sexier it is wearing a tight baju kebaya than a full frontal nudity ? He he… probably… I dunno. Am not male.

Like one day we were watching “What About Jim”. I have totally forgotten what the storyline was but they kept calling sex ‘IT’, in the context like after IT or do you want IT or whatever lah but IT was mentioned a lot and I didn’t realize that the little people who weren’t in the joke could get so annoyed for not knowing what IT really was.

“What is IT ?” Abang asked out loud, frustration obvious by his tightly clenched fist, after like the thousandth IT was mentioned by Jim Belushi and co.

He he….

And since he likes to ask, I ran away before he put me in the spot.

Another time when he put us both in trouble was when he talked about his favourite book, a detailed encyclopaedia on how the intestines and other organs in the stomach work. It is a very good book, using simple English and colourful pictures to explain the human body. Very unfortunate that I could not find the rest of the human body of that series as Abang is very interested in anatomy and therefore he reads the sole book cover to cover, many times over.

Anyway, apparently he brought the book to school last month or so, showing it to his regular kakis A, D1 and D2.

Oh, and this conversation happened in the car while his Babah was driving making it extremely difficult for us to run.

“Mummy…. Dalam buku tu kan it shows right perempuan kan… the mothers kan ada eggs in their stomach. And then there are like million and millions of sperms swimming to the eggs…”

While I groaned inwardly, I could hear Babah stiffened. He he… Aiyoo lah… have you seen 2 more cowardly people than us ?

“The girl sperm is yellow and the boy sperm is orange…” Ha ? Ye ke ?

“And then kan….” He went on oblivious to the fact that he made his parents sweat like they were in the Sahara.

“Only one of the sperm can get in the egg… and then if it was the orange sperm, the egg will become a baby boy.. like me…. And if it was the yellow sperm, it will become a baby girl like Adik…”

Please stop, please stop, please stop… Please don’t ask me anything. Please don’t ask the obvious, please, please, please….

“But kan Mummy…. What we would like to know is, where did the sperm came from ? That was the question…..”

Alahai… alahai.. help me ! Help me ! Help me !

“Me and my friends kan have been thinking and thinking where the sperm came from … but we just don’t know !” He said with a laugh.

Can I just get away with keeping shtoom ? I have gotten into trouble before because of my inability to shut my trap so I should really have learnt my lesson by now.

“Do you know ?”

Errrk !

“Ummm…. Maybe it is in the mother’s body ? I don’t really know lah……”

“Yalah… we thought so too…. But from where ?”

Yeah… this is one scientific journey I am not going with you yet, okay ? You have to wait for your mammy to mature a bit.…. ha ha…

But then kan, why me ? Why can’t his Babah ?

" You know, a lot of people suka sangat buang baby Mummy ? And then kan they always throw the babies in the same way, put the baby in a basket kan and then leave a note.... " Hmm.... well.... that is the Disney version my darling. If what you said is really true, then the world is much more bearable than what it is now...

My wee girl...

Adik and her Disney diary book. Sibuk nar nak diary. Her eyes positively lit up when she saw the lock attached to the diary. He he.... Teringat my own when I was a teenager. Because of the flimsy lock that came with it, I changed it into a real metal padlock. There were loads of stuffs about Kamil kan.... ha ha.. like how dreamy he looked, or how we held hands that day ... Auwwwww... So I had to take an extreme measure for Kamil's own safety....

.

Anyway Bapak aku terbuntang mata nengok padlock tu. Tak puas hati giler dia. "Awat teruk sangat ni, hey ?" He asked, shaking the book, the lock jiggling with every shake. "Tulih apa ni ?" And after that, I sometimes saw him eyeing the book longingly. Huh, now I know ropa-ropanya dialah yang paling aktif baca diari aku. Tak boleh percaya langsung !

.

Back to present time, this wee one pun dapat-dapat terus tulih. My hubby was craning his neck to see what she wrote. He he..... Hai... My father always say that I will get what I deserve !

Err... Bapak please take that back !!!

Ya Allah please spare me from..... mini me !!!

Whenever there is time, she would open it up and start scribbling. She allowed me to read the first few entries. The very first one was "Today is the best week ever !" Hah ! Dah today, awat lak week ? Mummy terus pangkah !! Diary pun tak selamat from your mother's grammar policing, okay ?

.

Anyway, a few hours after reading it, she asked, "Mummy, is a diary supposed to be special ?" Err..... I suppose so. "Is it supposed to be a secret ?" Hmmmm............... well..... it could be (I was reluctant to tell the truth sebab takut satgi dia tak mo bagi baca... he heh). "Then..... why did you read my diary ? You cannot read it anymore !!!" Dah..... jadi dah... start dah.....

But... Mummy is very adept at pujuk memujuk so she let me read it again. Imagine the mirth welling inside me when I saw this ;

"Ohh... this book is not a secret book. Everybody can read this...." I announced. She wasn't happy to hear that of course. "Why ?" He he.... "Because this is a milk book... See.. dairy book... Not diary !!" KAH KAH KAH KAH !

.

I had wanted to see if she wrote about why she was so scared of the Disney characters. I dunno where she got the idea that they are gonna eat her. I know she was scared of the A&W bear but that was when she was 2-3 ! My baby girl was only comfortable with Pooh, okay. She was even scared of the princesses.

See ?

Not in the picture. She was present in our family picture with Mickey but even that one she was quite far off from him.

Not here either eventhough this guy looked very human.

Scared of Terk too (all this while I thought his/her name was Turd.. My bad....)

And Buzz ! He is the good guy okay ? I would have understood if it was Zorg !

Look at this ! Crouching during the boat ride in Safari Land. Mat Salleh kat sebelah was so amused, they took her picture. She was scared of this;

Burning cave.

She was even more spooked with the smokes. When I asked why, she said she was scared of being burnt.

.

Hmm... I thought Abang was the Safety Inspector in the family. Apparently it rubbed on her, too.

.

But.... funny story about her..

.

Abang was tired of trooping around Fantasyland. When we approached Abang and Babah who were sitting outside the loo we visited, Abang announced, "It is my turn now ! I want to go to Adventureland !". The little missy tired with Abang's constant whining probably answered with, "Yeah, yeah.. whatever !"

.

Almost immediately we heard a shout of laughter and it came from the mat salleh sitting next to Abang. He was laughing and giving fond looks at Adik. OMG ! Babah and I was soooo embarrassed. "She is precious, isn't she ?" He asked. I was at lost for words, I couldn't think of anything to say so I just smiled at him. And as we walked, I gave her one smart smack on her bum.

Maybe she wrote about it in her diary. I had better check !

Masalah belum selesai....

I picked Abang from school yesterday before going for my meeting.

In the car, ada van lalu sebelah dia lambai. “Kawan saya Zubaidah, Mummy….”.

Okay… “I have a lot of friends, Mummy. Girls and boys….”

“Of course….”

Then lalu pulak kete lain. Lambai lagi. “Normah, Mummy…”

He he… but I just nodded my head.

“I have a lot of friends….. “

“Yes … I know…. I want you to have loads of friends. Girls and boys…..”

He smiled, I smiled.

Then aku kan, I just had to say something. I mean why do I never learn and just keep my mouth shut ? Why ? Why ?

“It is okay for you to have friends… even girls…. “ Itulah permulaan mukadimah mak yang gataaaallll nak bukak mulut ni.

“It is also okay for you to like a girl… It is normal to fall in love…. I wouldn’t be angry if you do….”

He smiled and nodded his head. I smiled tenderly at him at first, then felt a bit susah hati… as I felt I needed to add a few cautionary advice.

“But… it is a bit young for you to have a girlfriend now…. You know, you are only ten….”

“Yeah… I know that…..”

“I mean it is perfectly normal if you like somebody, but you know you don’t have to tell her about it. You can tell me…. But don’t tell her lah….. You are still young…”

“Okay…” He said, nodding his head happily.

Fuuuhh…. Lega.

But then…, “So…… when am I allowed to have a girlfriend….?”

Sigh….. I should have known this will come.

“Err….. Babah had a girlfriend when he was 16 - 17… which was me. So…. I suppose that could be the right age…..”

He nodded thoughfully. “Form berapa tu, Mummy ?”

“Form 5…. Provided if you are responsible enough lah… Not neglecting your studies, not going out sampai malam-malam… Err… ingat kat Tuhan……”

“Yes… okay…. But I have to have a girlfriend, Mummy because I do not want to be lonely….”

Awww….. my little boy, my little boy…… Not so little now are you ? I wish I didn’t know that… I need you to be a baby a while longer.

“Also, I would need somebody if I want to have a child of my own… I want to be a father ..”

Eh ?

I thought only little girls dream about pushing prams and what-nots. But boys ?

“You will make sure you are married first though before you become a father, right ?”

Waaahhh ! Takutnya !

“Is it against the law to have children before you get married ?”

“It is against Allah’s law ! And His law is the most important one ever !”

Why am I having this conversation now ? It’s waaayyy too early and I haven’t prepared myself yet !!!!!!!

School crush...

Okay… okay…. Ceritanya begini….

To my FB friends, I think you know what story I am telling.

My mum picked up Abang from school yesterday and in the car Abang called me. He sounded upset and from the semi-incoherent babble, I got the message that a girl has a crush on him. I heard Tok laughed like mad in the background, saying “Apalah Abang ni… benda merepek macam ni pun nak nangis…” and more roars of laughter from the grandma.

Picked them up from their class after work and here is our conversation.

“What happened ? Who has a crush on you ?”

“Normah…” Okay you guys know it’s a pseudonym, yeah ?

He he…

“But they said I have a crush on her !!” Pulak.

We were in the car, Adik was at the front passenger seat rubbing her feet, listening to the conversation. I dunno why I kept looking at her, seeing her cooly listening to her brother’s story was quite entertaining.

“How come ?”

“Macam ni. I was walking kan and then Jamilah called me. She and Normah were whispering whispering then Normah said Jamilah said I like her !”

Wah ! Direct tanya, okay ? Aku seram.

“Why did Jamilah say you like Normah ?”

“Because I gave her the Daisy Duck pen !!!!”

“In front of Jamilah ?”

“Yes…..” And itulah salah satu lesson why you must listen to your parents !!

On the way to the airport last week Abang told me his teachers want a present from him and he wants to buy presents for 39 of his classmates. 39 ? Kapak lah bapak kau nak oii…. Botak le lagi kepala dia ….

So I advised him to just buy for his best friends. Itupun amounted to 7. Okaylah. I bought pens in various colours with various Disney characters on them. The night before they went to school, I was reminding them over and over again to not dispense out the gifts in front of their other mates who are not getting them. Dah mak pelakon Oscar kan so we re-enacted the ways and the hows to panggil kawan slow-slow and bagi sorok-sorok.

“Whatever it is, no matter how long it is gonna take you, please do not and I mean DO NOT give them in front of your friends yang tak dapat. People can get hurt, okay. You must not hurt other people’s feelings !”

Haaa…. gitu lah pesan mak ini. It so happened I didn’t notice one pen although was not girly coloured but had Daisy Duck on it so the boy who got them of course le refused. He he……

So my boy gave the pen to Normah ni in front of si Jamilah ni and of course le si Jamilah ni buat conclusion gitu.

“Itulah I told you already…. DO not give the pen in front of anybody that is not getting it. If it were you, you wouldn’t get hurt ke ?”

“No…” Of course le jawapannya gitu.

“Okay if it was you and Karim were sitting together then Normah gave a pen to Karim, you wouldn’t rasa malu ke… hurt ke… wondering why Normah didn’t give you one also ?”

“No… I don’t care about that kind of stuffs…” Huh, boys !

I looked at Adik for help but she was still looking straight ahead, one hand still rubbing her thighs but there was a small smile on her face. She shook her head and murmured, “Stupidnya Abang ni…..”

He he… Aiyoh lah…..

“Well….. what to do it happened already…” I said.

“Itulah Jamilah said I have a crush on Normah because I gave her the pen and also because her mother likes me ….”

“Eh ? What’s that again ?”

“Oh… Normah’s mother likes me….”

“Her mother ? You know her ?”

“Yeah.. we’ve met before …”

Ha ?

“When ?”

“At school… Her mother asked me to take care of Normah from the naughty boys at school….”

O-kay…..

“She only asked you to do that ? She only knew you ke ? She doesn’t know the other boys ?”

“Oh.. she knows Karim too but she only asks me to take care of Normah…”

Pulak dah…. Apasal lak pompuan ni bagi keje kat anak aku ? Dia pun baby !

Hmmm……….

“Cantik ke Normah ni ?”

“I don’t know !” He answered with a laugh. “I don’t have an opinion on that !”

HAHHAHAHAHAAHHA… Aduh lah…

Then I went for the kill. “You like her ?”

“As a friend…….” Okay, good one.

Adik still have a little smile on her face. I was glad that she found the whole episode entertaining.

“Mummy….. please don’t tell Babah about this, okay ?”

“Why ?”

“I am soooo embarrassed lah…. Saya rasa macam nak pengsan ! And anyway, saya tak tahu crush tu rasa macam mana ! I have no idea ! I don’t know what they are talking about !”
This was the part where I positively roared with laughter. Dear me. Allah help me !!!!!!!

“Abang… takkan lah Mummy nak tanya (yup… she still hasn’t got tanya and bagitahu sorted out yet) Babah….” Said Adik.

We got out of the car and I noticed Adik was still smiling. If only I could just get one little look inside her brain. I am itching to know what she found so amusing !!!

Anyway, that night SIL came to the house. Her story is like this. Memang kecoh le masa balik pasal Abang kena usik dengan kawan-kawan. According to SIL mak si Normah ni memang suka kat Abang. Selalu puji kata Abang pandai (ini perempuan dah tengok ke report card anak aku yang kurang memuaskan itu ?), Abang handsome lah apa lah. Ikut dia, mak si Normah ni memang aim Abang. Okay, I don’t get that part.

“Si Normah tu yang suka kat Abang !! Suka lambai-lambai lah… Bukannya si Abang ni yang suka kat dia !”

Pulak dah.

“Masa balik tadi, si Normah ni lambai-lambai lah tapi Abang lari. Ajak Jamil (his cousin) pegi tempat lain…..”

He he…

Aku kan… he he…. Aku tak tahu nak cakap apa.

I for one thing find all this amusing. And seriously I am not angry. Love, puppy or real is a feeling that will come. Sure, I don’t know how to handle this but it is not something that I can avoid, or discourage. Well… which I can’t encourage either at this moment.

I am glad Abang told me, though. I am gald that he is comfortable enough to moan about this to me.

Although kenapa dia segan giler ngan bapak dia I dunno. Babah pun even after my warning pegi gelak-gelak tanya Abang. Mengamuk lah dia. Hai…

Cerita semalam

Eventhough it is the school holidays, I still wake up my kids early. Subuh satu and dua is early birds catch the worms thingy.

He he…

Anyway, yesterday I managed to wake up Abang but not Adik.

And I know what I will hear when I return home, Adik nangis cari Mummy. News bearer was Bibik. But when I gave her a lecture, Bibik defended her pulak.

“Bukan… kan udah biasa bangun sama-sama. Ini bila Mummy pi, dia ngak nampak… Nangis lah dia…”

Hmmm………

As usual she followed me around when I am home. I cooked, she set the table and waited for me there. She talked and she chatted. I made carbonara yesterday, the children’s eternal favourite. Plus fried calamari which is Abang’s must have with pasta.

While eating, Adik took a moment to look up at me and said, “You are the best cook I have ever seen, Mummy ! This carbonara is really good….”

You have ever seen ? How many cooks have you seen ?

Penggunaan bahasa yang salah.

Anyway, I wanted to go and see Kak Kay but Babah still wasn’t home from his futsal. I bathed and prayed and my little girl of course was on my bed waiting for me. Percy Jackson was on.

“I am going down there to switch on the power, okay ?” She said as she bent beneath the dressing table for the switch. I dunno why I found that funny.

Anyway, while waiting for Isyak, Mummy and Adik baring-baring, sembang-sembang and I noticed that her eyes were heavy.

“You sleepy ?” Her head was on my shoulder by then.

“Yes…..”

“Close your eyes then…”

“Will I go to sleep like that ?” Err….. how did you sleep all this while ?

“Yeah…. Go go on then…”

So she closed her eyes and immediately went to sleep. Immediately okay ?

He he… Abang came up and asked, “Is she really sleeping or is she pretending ?” Ini ajaran Tok Yah, pura-pura tidur then scaring the hell out of your victim is funny and entertaining.

“No…this is real…. By the way, I have to go and visit my friend. Yang rumah dia terbakar tu… You wanna come with me ?”

Abang was intrigued and wanted to come. But then when he turned around, he was reminded of his sleeping sister.

“What about Adik ? We can’t leave her here… Alone….”

“Why not ?”

Ini part best. Abang’s face was incredulous because Mummy had to ask. Berkerut-kerut berbagai. “What ? You know her ! You know what she is like !” Bulat mata pandang Mummy.

Mummy gelak.

“She can get crazy if she wakes up and doesn’t see you… She will cry and cry and cry… Eee… saya rasa macam nak pecah kepala !!” He added, hands holding his head. Kira habis serious lah tu.

Then he switched on the telly and put on his Pokemon cd. I read while waiting for Isyak. When Babah returned home and we got ready to go out, I asked him whether he still wants to come.

His face was very funny when he said this. He said it slowly at first before gaining speed, “Mummy… I think I am coughing right now… and… I am afraid I will get choked from the smokes at your friend’s house… So I’d better stay home…” His face became more animated as his speech got faster, and at the end he was smiling happily. Like he started the speech without having any idea of what to say, of what excuse to give me and as he went on, he was like surprised with his own ingenuity to bagi alasan.

Dah tu melompat-lompat kegembiraan, face was so flushed with happiness, like saying, “Yey…. Finally aku berjaya bagi alasan munasabah ! Mummy believed me ! She believed me !!”

Aku kan budak-budak ni…..

Hai lah…

Dah besar dah toys kita Bah…

Mummy ! Don't fall !!

Yesterday was sooo…… bloody kelakar….

After dinner of mee bandung, I sat on the sofa, melepak-lepak dengan Kamil. Adik as usual is at her office desk in front of us and Abang was slumped next to his father, watching whatever crap we were watching.

Sambil-sambil dok tengok tv, tangan ni dok gatal-gatal meraba my face and I don’t know how suddenly I felt like my fingers got wet and when I looked was stained with blood.

“Blood Kamil….” I said and proffered the side of the face for him to inspect.

“Jerawat tu…” he said after a very, very cursory glance.

Adik who heard our conversation suddenly was in front of me, looked at my finger and her face people… her face….was soooooooooooooo aghast, I was taken aback by the force and intensity of it. Looked at Babah in bewilderment and he too was looking wide eyed at Adik. I just couldn’t describe it to you okay but that face will forever be etched in memory.

“Mummy !! Are you okay ? How come you have blood ?” One hand on her chest, face mega, mega horrifyingly concerned. Abang jumped to his feet and rushed to my side.

And Mummy being mummy…. Well…. start le berlakon.

“Ooooohhhhhhh…..” I groaned, hand on my forehead. Kamil screwed his eyes and shook his head, a little smile formed on his face.

“Tolong… please….. It is painful….. Please… I need tissue….” Terketar-ketar Mummy cakap, Azean Irdawaty mesti nak ambik jadi anak angkat. Abang rushed to get tissue and pressed it hard on my ‘wound’.

“It’s okay, Mummy… It’s okay…. Evrything will be all right….” Said Abang soothingly. He then looked at my wound and exclaimed, “Hey… dah tak ada apa-apa… it’s okay now…. You are fine already !” His face was kind and encouraging. Darling, listen to Mummy… you would make an excellent, excellent doctor.

Babah geleng-geleng kepala, but his face was amused. He looked at me and mouthed, “Saja je you., ya….”

If lah my children remember this day, they might one day think Hmmm…. kenapa Babah wasn’t concern masa Mummy berdarah dulu tu ? You remember ?

He he…

Anyway, I got up shakily (I so bloody deserved an Oscar), stumbled a bit and tried to grasp Babah’s hand. “Please…. Help me upstairs….. I need to lie down ……” Babah gave me a lopsided smile, laughed and shook his head. “I nak tengok tv …..”

My itty bitty Florence Nightingale was next to me in an instant. She draped my hand around her shoulders and said, “Mummy … it is okay… I will help you… I will take you upstairs….” He he… hang kan pendek sayang, mana buleh Mummy lean on you. Nasib baik lah berlakon so I gamely walked slowly towards the stairs, one hand encircling her tiny, tiny shoulders. Abang hovered behind us.

Nak bagi real sikit, I put a little bit more weight on my right side, kononnya macam nak jatuh. She screamed. “Mummy !! Mummy ! Don’t fall down ! Don’t fall !!!”

Ha ha ha ha ha… Aduhai lah anak ku. Yang herannya, Abang langsung tak offer bahu dia… he just walked behind us, kononnya jaga dari belakang.

Anyway I was put tenderly on the bed, Abang fetched more tissues and pressed it on my wound. Adik stood next to me, wringing her hands and looking so worried. One great mother in the making here people.

Babah came, saw them fussing around me and snorted. Shut up, you……

“Okay… you guys go ahead lah…. Tak pa…. Pergi tengok tv…” Said I, kononnya macam tak nak orang risau. He he…

“Mummy… we don’t mind, Mummy. This is our turn to take care of you…. You have taken good care of us…. So now we will take good care of you…” Said Abang oh-so tenderly, Mummy rasa macam nak nangis. His face was kind, he was smiling and his eyes were big with encouragement.

“Mummy… please don’t die…” Hai… si kecik ni memang a bit macabre.

“You promised to make carbonara tomorrow… You said it’s today but you did not make it… And just now masa kita makan you said you will make it tomorrow !”

Ha ?

“And I want to eat meat loaf next, Mummy !!” She pleaded.

Wei….. are you telling me your main concern is your stomach ? All this help and care you so generously bestowed on me is because you want to make sure your tummy is filled in the future ?

Babah was already laughing, terguling-guling atas katil.

And you must do that in front of your Babah ? Why can’t you say that just now when Babah was not around ? Why in front of Babah and now he is sooooo gonna laugh at me. For days…….

Cess !

She then pointed her finger at her Babah, “Babah cannot cook ! So if you die we are going to starve !” Ya Allah dramanya. Aku ingat aku yang dok berdrama, rupanya ada orang lagi terer dari aku. Aduhai lah… tahan gelak, tahan gelak because the curtains are still up. The play is still on.

Abang intervened, cutting short her moment of madness, ‘Why do you treat Babah like that ?” He asked angrily. “Why can’t you say nice things about Babah ?”

He he……

“Aarrhhhgghhh…..I will be fine tomorrow…. Go… go and watch tv now….*cough* * cough*” Said I before terjadi pergaduhan besar pulak.

*The cough was real as aku belum baik batuk lagi…

“Never mind lah, Adik… why don’t we just play the game kat atas ni ? At least we can be near Mummy ….”

Adik agreed and they left the room.

Babah started giggling. I did too but quietly sebab sakit kan ?

“You saw her face just now ? My god !” said Babah.

“I know.. ! I will remember that forever !”

Then we laughed again and I must have forgotten that I was sick because suddenly I heard, “Is that you laughing, Mummy ? I can hear you laughing…. So you are better now ? Or you are not sick at all ?” coming from outside my bedroom, in a little girl’s voice.

Babah and I covered our mouths to stifle our laughs, like 2 naughty children.

When I peeked, her face was concentrating on her Abang’s playing. She didn’t even break whatever she was doing to confront me. Cool lah you, Adik. Very cool.

Ha ha…

Alahai Abang ni

Babah send a well oiled, every limbs working perfectly Abang to tennis class. Adik tak pegi… demam.

Mummy collected Abang who limped to the car.

“What happened ?”

“I don’t know… suddenly saya sakit….”

“Oh… takpa… balik karang Mummy check… Maybe just a pulled muscle or something like that….”

Then, “Mummy… walaupun kaki saya sakit tapi saya masih ingin bersenam !”

Dahh…. Naik dah bulu roma aku… Buat dah budak ni….

I tried my darnest to stifle my tremors so I bit my lip and smiled at my son.

“Iya… I had the determination to go on so that I can be very good at tennis. I also have the determination to play so that I can be thin…”
Tambah besar Mummy punya gelak….. WAAARRRRGGHHHH ! Mana hang mai, sayang wei….. Felt like I was in a Japanese series.

He inhaled and continued, “Mummy… determination tu apa ?”

Pulak…. Kuang kuang kuang….

Mid explaination, he cut in, “Oh… maksudnya determine ?”

Ya Allah… ya lah… Tambah tion je kat belakang….

One morning about 2 weeks ago he complained about Gizmo’s consistant meowing.

“Dia cari anak dia lah Mummy. I pity her but it was soooo noisy....”

Mummy snorted. “Nolah… she stopped calling her children already.. That was a booty call, okay ?”

“Apa booty call ?"

“Eh !.... Err…. She was calling for her boyfriend….”

“Oh… dia mencari teman lelaki dia ?”

Oh tidakkkk !!!!!!! Mummy felt tremors traveling thorugh her body and just couldn’t stop shuddering okay ? Just can’t seem to stop.

I must him given him a look because he smiled at me and said, “What... I know how to speak Bahasa Malaysia properly now….”

Err…. That is not properly, darling… That kind of talk masih boleh buat orang berguling, okay ? Ya Allah, ya Rabbi ….

Why are you growing up too fast ?

One day when I was sick, I went down to watch the telly after staying in my room for far too long and feeling so confined.

Adik was watching Sinetron with Bibik, concentrating with the storyline.

“Mummy… I don’t like this story.” She said suddenly.

“You want to know why ? Because Cinta kan suka that boy tapi kan…. He is not handsome. Not at all !”

Waaah…. Dah pandai dah…… Nak handsome. Taste sendiri pun dah ada. Muka punya heran kenapa lah si Cinta boleh syok kat mamat yang buruk lagu tu.

He he…

That day when we watched Percy Jackson and The Ligthning Thief, there was a scene where Percy and Athena’s daughter (I have forgotten her name) were smiling and looking at each other from far. Adik who was on Babah’s lap (memang rugi beli tiket untuk dia ni), looked up at her father and asked;

“Babah…dia suka ke Bah ?”

He he…. Amboi lah. Babah nodded then looked at me, smiling sadly, sort of saying, “My girl….. is so grown up !”

Ha ha… yelah Bah. Mummy feels it too.

Masa power cut...

We had a power cut yesterday.

The air was sticky and hot and everybody was in a bad mood.

Babah came home with candles. The kids had a lovely time watching the flames danced in the dark.

It is exam week and Adik had a nice time reading and doing her revision by the candlelight. I am sure adik lebih jepada berangan-angan at the novelty of doing that dari study. Abang though was all hot and bothered, and takut I am sure because he stayed close to Mummy.

I went up to bathe and sembahyang. The kids followed closely. Abang was lying on the bed and Adik was in the family room, trying to get some cool air from the opened door. I put the candle next to my sejadah.

“Mum… don’t put it there….” He warned.

“What ?”

“The candle ! I am so scared if you are going to catch fire !”

“No lah… Jauh ni….”

“Mum…. Please be careful… I will watch for the candle as you pray lah….”

Hmmm….

True to his words, he didn’t move from his position. I could feel his stares as I did my 3 rakaat.

As soon as I gave my final salam, he said, “Mum… please lipat your telekung now because it can catch fire….”

Aiyoo ! Yelah ! Yelah !

We joined Elsa outside. I sat next to her on the daybed while Abang showed me sort of macam concert dia buat kat sekolah. It so happened I started coughing as soon as he opened his mouth but that didn’t deter him from performing. He kept on with it, pausing respectfully when I coughed louder than his singing until Adik naughtily went,

“Abang…." She said grinning “…. I don’t think she likes your singing very much… She is still coughing…” her thumbs pointing at me happily.

Abang went “ Hey ! Adik ni !”

And I miraculously stopped coughing !

Keh keh !

Saya tekan-tekan

One day last week Abang called me through Tok’s phone.

“Mummy… hari ni saya ko-ko. Can Tok Mi send me ?”

“If Tok says yes than okaylah…. I can’t send you…”

“Okay Mummy… you pick me up after school okay ? Bye Mum…”

His voice sounds like nectar to my ears. Sedap sangat, manja….. My mind immediately went the times when he was smaller, all chubby cheeks and very, very fair sampai muka tu semak sebab nampak blue veins all over his skin.

His eyes, his huge eyes are what I love best. Everything you want to know about him is there.

Anyway, my sister CT called me and we talked for one hour. While we talked I heard a message came through but I ignored it. After our session was done, I checked my phone and found it was missed call message from home.

“Mummy ! Tok tak ambik saya ! Dia lupa !” Said my son in despair.

“Oh dear… Tak pelah okay ? Just stay home and study… Is that okay ? I’ll cook whatever you want tonight…..” He loves going for his ko-ko so I know he is very, very disappointed. To make it up to him, offer lah nak masak apa-apa yang dia nak.

“Okay… meatballs spaghetti… “ Fullamak… Demand…

I got home at the appointed time and he was already waiting for me. His face was all smiles so I was glad.

Then, he frowned. “Saya tekan-tekan nombor Mummy tapi tak dapat ! Saya tekan-tekan nombor CT pun tak dapat ! Saya tekan-tekan, tekan-tekan semua tak dapat ! Banyak kali saya tekan-tekan, tekan-tekan…”

He he… sorrylah darling, sebab memang Mummy and CT dok bergayut !

So that night, to compensate for his failed tekan-tekan, Mummy added fried calamari to the menu. He was extremely happy.

Ha ha… Mummy’s little boy.